Taking Down the Sunrise

Of course, he knew what he had done wrong. He should have never touched her. He should have kept a friendly distance of at least three feet between them the entire time they were in that room and at every moment before and after that. He looked up from the lines he was writing, wondering what McGonagall would say if she knew.

She would probably take away ten points from Slytherin, maybe twenty since Lily Evans was her favourite student. And if Mulciber and Avery ever found out he would be killed, but not before they told the entire world. He swore silently and wrote his final line.

Getting up from his desk, he took the piece of paper he was writing on and handed it to McGonagall. He turned to leave but she cleared her throat and said, “Mr. Snape, a moment.”

Severus turned. McGonagall turned the paper back to him without a trace of humour on her face and said, “These are not the lines I asked you to write.”

“What?”

“This piece of paper says, over and over again, ‘I should not have kissed her’. Only the first two sentences are what I asked you to write ‘I shall wear proper attire at all times’.” McGonagall paused as she looked up at him, “Is there something you would like to talk about, Mr. Snape?”

He shrugged, “Nothing of much importance, ma’am. I’ll just, umm...” He slid the paper from between her fingers and placed it on the desk behind him, “Do the right lines this time. It’s no problem.”

“Mr. Snape, I think you should go back to your dorm room. We’ll try this again tomorrow, shall we?” The professor suggested lightly.

Studying her carefully, Severus nodded and turned to leave the room. Unless he had been horrible mistaken, he believed that McGonagall had just been nice to him. And the look in her eyes had been something close to concern. But of course, that couldn’t be. He was, after all, a Slytherin.

***

Severus could have hurled as he rounded the corner that would lead him to the portrait of the Fat Lady and the Gryffindor common room. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he wasn’t wanted there. Whether that feeling stemmed from the rivalry between Gryffindor and Slytherin or because he had misinterpreted Lily, he couldn’t be one hundred percent sure even though the latter seemed more likely.

He swore under his breath as he approached the portrait and the Fat Lady screeched, “Language! That would never be the password young man!”

“I think I know that, but thanks,” He snapped back, not in the mood to play her games, “I believe the password is Gurdyroot?”

“I believe you’re a Slytherin!” The Fat Lady responded sharply.

“Does it matter if I know that password?” Severus countered, “Obviously someone has told me and if someone has told me then they want me to have access to the common room. So you should probably let me through.”

The Fat Lady frowned at him, “No, I don’t think so. Students are not allowed in other houses’ common rooms. It’s a school rule.”

“Come on, everybody goes into the Ravenclaw common room! Those stupid riddles couldn’t keep out anyone with an IQ higher than a five year old’s! Now, I know the password, I have been in there before and if you don’t let me through I’ll blast a hole through your portrait,” Severus said calmly.

The Fat Lady glared at him. Without another word, she swung aside to reveal the bustling Gryffindor common room.

Severus frowned as he stepped into the room. Fires blazed from torches and the fireplace in the centre of the room. The armchairs were crimson red and full of stuffing. The wood was polished to perfection and the bulletin board was neatly organized so that nothing overlapped. To Severus, it seemed as though they were trying much too hard.

As he scanned the room for Lily, he stepped back into the shadows so not to be seen by James and his crew of miscreants. Severus shivered as Sirius glanced his way but the other boy’s eyes just swept over him as if he were nothing more than a fly on the wall.

He didn’t see Lily’s telltale red head anywhere in the room and as he looked more closely, he realized that James wasn’t with his friends. Panic that quickly changed directions and became anger boiled up inside Severus. He backed out of the room quickly, so quickly in fact that he caught Sirius’ attention, and bolted down the hallway.

Adrenaline could cause people to do some pretty crazy things. It was why for the last several centuries potion-makers had been trying to duplicate the effects that it had on people. It was why Severus was suddenly running quite a bit faster than he ever had before and why he was seeing ten times clearer. Adrenaline was the reason that he could hear the sound of footsteps behind him over the pounding of blood in his ears and was why he knew he could beat out his pursuer.

After jumping from several moving staircases (something not recommended even by seventh year students), taking three abandoned hallways and two shortcuts that were in the process of being cemented closed, Severus barrelled through the library doors.

He ran past numerous rows of books without even glancing at them and then turned down one, seemingly at random. But he knew the library like he knew the back of his hand. Lily was always down this hallway, always reading at the table that looked out onto the lake and always in the corner so that James wouldn’t feel compelled to talk to her. But James had never been the best person at taking a hint.

Severus jumped onto the table and skidded to a stop right in front of Lily. “Don’t date him,” He said, not even bothering to check if the person she was talking to was James. He didn’t need to. The hatred radiating off of him was as good of identification as seeing his face would have been.

“I wasn’t going to, Sev,” Lily said slowly, as if he were dumb, “Why would I ever do that?”

“I don’t care,” Severus replied, looking down on her from his perch atop the table. She seemed confused, but she was beautiful anyways. Her green eyes burned into his mind and he knew he would never forget them. “I don’t care that you would never go out with him. I know he’s been wearing you down. Lily, don’t let him wear you down.”

Lily began to say something and then stopped. The look in his eyes made the breath catch in her throat. She thought back to the room of requirement and of how his body had fit perfectly with hers. Softly, she asked, “What do you mean, Sev?”

He paused. There was now not one, but two, waves of hatred coming towards him. It was weird that for the first time he didn’t care about them. He didn’t care that they were going to rip his head off for this or that he would most likely get beaten up Muggle-style by Black. Nothing mattered but the beautiful green eyes in front of him.

“I love you, Lil. And I just want you to be happy. I’m sorry if I was out of line before. I’m sorry if I’m wrong to say this because you don’t love me. And I’m sorry if this makes it hard for you to be my friend, but Gryffindor isn’t the only house that doesn’t accept the weak,” Severus said, “Slytherin wasn’t favourable towards the weak either. And I’m not going to be weak. I love you. Be with me.”

If James hadn’t been boxing her in, she probably would have run. As it was she was shaking and Severus’ shining black eyes were slowly killing her. Tears sprung to her eyes but she fought to hold them in.

“I don’t know, Severus... I just don’t know...” Lily whispered. Then, turning towards James, she screamed, “For the love of god, move your ass!”

James, frightened into action, leaped out of his chair. She brushed right by him, not even giving sparing him a glance. Severus moved to follow her, but Sirius pushed him down with a feral smile on his face.

“Not so fast, Snivellus,” Sirius said chidingly, “You had no right to do that.”

“And because of that, we’re going to kill you,” James said blandly.

Severus glared at them, “Can’t you just-”

“I don’t speak pathetic.”

“I don’t speak pleading for life.”

“You guys really have to-”

“Shut up.”

“Yeah, Snivellus, no one wants you around. We’re going to do the whole school a favour and get you out of here.”

“Don’t either of you give a fuck about Lily?” Severus shouted. The two other boys froze and Severus repeated himself slowly, “Don’t either of you give a fuck about her? She just left here ready to cry her eyes out. Now I may have been the one who did that, or maybe you assholes managed that before I showed up, but all I know is right now she’s somewhere crying, alone, because you two are holding up her best friend. So if you want to keep up the illusion that you care about her, you’ll let this slide.”

“I do care about her,” James hissed.

Severus stared at him for a moment and then nodded, “Believe what you will, but you will never love her as much as I do. So move.”