Signs Of Love

The next day I sit quietly on the bus, ignoring my friends’ taunts and Rachel. Though, Rachel doesn’t count because she was ignoring me too. I hardly looked up until we got to school. I spent my time in the library during lunch, checking out books from my list and helping out the librarian. It was nice and peaceful. And, on the bright side, I wasn’t angry while I was in the library. It was nearly impossible. I felt nervous on the way to ASL. I felt bad for saying those things yesterday. I mean, saying that it made me want to kill myself was a little out of hand…

I took a moment to lean against the wall, knocking my head lightly on it. How long would these calm thoughts last? How long until I fell under again, and began to be mean to others because I didn’t feel good? I groaned before pushing myself up and heading toward class again. This time, I noticed the kid who was writing in his journal. “Hey, are you okay?” I asked, walking up to him. “Do you need to go to the nurse?” I watched as he vomited in the trash. “Woah!” Seeing him crack his head against the floor freaked me out a little. I mean, nothing like this had ever happened to me before.

“It’ll be all right.” I said, though I didn’t know whether I was soothing him, or myself.

***

So, rolling someone in a wheel chair to the nurse is very easy. The hard part, especially when they’re passed out, is getting them on the wheel chair. It took me and another student to get the kid on it. But, we made it. I decided to stay with him because, quite frankly, I felt guilty.
“Here.” The nurse said, shoving a cold compress into my hands. “If you’re going to hang around, you might as well do something.”

“Okay.” I responded, putting it on his head. The nurse eyed me for a moment before walking out of the room. I didn’t blame her. The year previous I had been in the nurse’s room many, many times, due to injuries caused by my…um, anger problem. A couple minutes after the nurse left the kid came to, jumping at the sight of me. “Woah, hey dude, it’s cool! Sorry, scared you there.” I mumbled, looking at him. “Can I get you anything?” He made some signs with his hands that I didn’t quite understand. “Dude, we’re not in ASL, we’re in the nurses’ office. You can just tell me.” I watched as he attempted to talk, and my eyes widened as I came to a realization. “You can’t talk, can you?” I asked, leaning closer. He shook his head. “Oh…well, I guess that puts everything in perspective. Wait a moment, I’ll be right back.” I walked out of the room and came back with a small paper cup of water. “Here. I hope that’s what you’re asking for, otherwise I have no idea.”

The kid drank his water, and I was glad to have done something right. “So...” I started, looking at my hands. “Um…I-“

The nurse walked in at that moment and saw that the kid was awake. “Okay, he’s awake. You can go now.” She pointed at me with her slim finger.

“Oh…okay.” I stood up and heard the bell ring. Well, at least I got to miss a whole class. “Bye.”
I said as I left, seeing the nurse bend down next to him. I walked out of the room, feeling shocked. I mean, I learned that the kid I bullied was mute. How had I not known before? I walked to grab my stuff, feeling down all the way there. , it’s cool! Sorry, scared you there.”