A Daydream Away

**THREE YEARS LATER**

The butterflies were going mad inside my stomach. This was the first time I had been home since my first year at college. The window was down and the wind was blowing through my hair. I glanced round at the blonde haired boy sitting it the car next to me. His name was Nathan and yes he is my boyfriend. He sort of reminds me of Zack at times. Well he has the same body type as Zack. He played football in college and was the sweetest guy ever.

“You ok sweetie?” His head turned to me with worried eyes. “You’ve been quiet ever since we got here.”

“Yeah I’m ok love. Just nervous. I haven’t seen these people in years.”

“How do you think i feel i’ve never met them.”

“They will love you, don’t worry about it.”

If i’m being honest i wasn’t nervous about seeing everyone. I had kept in contact with Rian, he is my brother after all. I was worried about seeing one man again. One man with brown eyes that made my knees go weak. When we broke up it was mutual well we didn't want to break up but we hardly had time for each other because of college and him touring and stuff. We thought it was for the best. I cried for two weeks after words I felt lonely. Rian said he was the same. He was depressed afterwards and was quiet. That made me feel even worse. I wanted to be with him forever. I still wore the ring he gave me except on my middle finger, it's sort of like he's with me it's sad i know but i don't care. I had been with Nathan for 2 years and i still didn't love him. He wasn't Alex. I don't think anyone could make me feel the way Alex did.

I was moving back to Maryland to work at a newspaper for now and Nathan was coming with me to work at a Law firm. He was one year older than me and we met through Ana.

As we pulled up at the familiar house i called home i felt sick. I knew the boys had a gig to play that night and Rian had told me it was compulsory that i go. He said it would give Nathan a chance to hang out with them some more. I just hoped they wouldn’t embarrass me too much.

“MUM I’M HOME!”

“OH LACEY ITS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN SWEETHEART. “ She walked to the doorway. “You must be the famous Nathan. She’s told us so much about you”

“All good i hope?” He put his hand forward for my mum to shake which she did. He was so polite.

“Very good actually” He looked down at me and smiled. “You better go get yourselves ready for going to see your brother play. He and the boys are so excited to see you Lacey. They have all been hyper for weeks, well more hyper tha usual and they are excited to meet this young man" she laughed

We both go ready and headed to the venue the boys were playing. My stomach was doing flips. We were late in but managed to get there just in time for their set. My fingers were laced with Nathan's as we found a space to stand. I dropped his hand instantly when my eyes locked onto those brown ones i had missed. He smiled but it wasn't his usual smile it seemed almost sad. They sang through half of their set before the others left the stage leaving Alex onstage with a stool and an acoustic guitar.

"I wanted to sing something that i didn't write tonight, that ok with you guys?" The crowd screamed. "Well that good because you didn't really have a choice." he laughed. I missed that too. He began to strum the first few chords and i knew what he was playing. His eyes met with mine again as he sang.

I can feel her breath as she's sleepin' next to me,
Sharing pillows and cold feet.
She can feel my heart, fell asleep to its beat,
Under blankets and warm sheets.

If only I could be in that bed again...
If only it were me instead of him...

Does he watch your favorite movies?
Does he hold you when you cry?
Does he let you tell him all your favorite parts when you've seen it a million times?
Does he sing to all your music while you dance to "Purple Rain?"
Does he do all these things, like I used to?

Fourteen months and seven days ago...
Oh, I know you know,How we felt about that night.
Just your skin against the window...
Oh, we took it slow,
And we both know...
It should've been me inside that car.
It should've been me instead of him... in the dark.

Does he watch your favorite movies?
Does he hold you when you cry?
Does he let you tell him all your favorite parts when you've seen it a million times?
Does he sing to all your music while you dance to "Purple Rain?"
Does he do all these things, like I used to?

I know, love,
(I'm a sucker for that feeling.)
Happens all the time, love,
(I always end up feelin' cheated.)
You're on my mind, love,
(or so that matter when I need it.)
It happens all the time- love, yeah.

Will he love you like I loved you?
Will he tell you everyday?
Will he make you feel like you're invincible with every word he'll say?
Can you promise me if this is right:
Don't throw it all away?
Can you do all these things?
Will you do all these things...
Like we used to?
Oh, like we used to...

I couldn't breathe. I stared into his eyes wanting to run through the crowd, jump up on stage and kiss him. We should never have broke up. It was the worst mistake i had ever made in my life. I turned around and ran for the exit i needed air.

Why does this boy have such a hold over me, i should be over him by now.