Taken Away

Zack was still crying when he got home. He rushed up the stairs past his mother who called for him to come back but he slammed his door and fell face first onto his bed.

He hated himself right now. Jack had basically torn him apart. He had never seen Jack so mad. What had he expected though, Jack and Alex had been best friends practically since Alex stepped foot in America. Jack had basically told him to stay away from Alex. That Zack was breaking his heart, but he had his own heart broken. How do you just push away the one person who had made you feel whole again. John had made him feel whole.

His phone started to vibrate in his pocket and he didn’t bother to look at who was calling before answering, he knew it was going to be John.

“Hey, John”

“Zack! I’ve been calling you all morning, where have you been?”

“I…umm…I was at Jack’s house. I left my phone at home on accident.”

“…Okay, well, can I come over? I’d really like to see you, we haven’t gotten to see each other in a while.”

Zack cringed at that because he had seriously been neglecting John but he also didn’t really feel like being around anyone right now.

“Umm…I don’t know, John, I…umm… I’m not feeling that well.” It wasn’t that much of a lie. He really didn’t feel good but it was mostly what had happened with Alex that was making him feel bad.

“…Oh…well I can bring you soup or something? Or just come lay with you? Please, Zack.”

Zack held the phone away as he groaned. Fuck, he heard himself say yes to John and agree for him to come over in about 20 minutes. He stood up from him bed and pulled off his jeans, finding a pair of grey sweats on his floor. If he was going to act sick he might as well look the part too. He went into his dresser and put on a random shirt, climbing back into his bed and pulled the covers up to his chin.

He was pretty much asleep when the door to his bedroom opened and he heard John set something down on his bedside table. He opened his eyes a bit when John pulled the covers back so he could slip under them, wrapping his arms around Zack’s waist.

“Hey babe.” John whispered and stroked Zack’s cheek.

“Hi.” Zack’s voice was barely audible and he sunk further into his blankets.

“I brought you soup, I don’t know if you’re hungry or not.”

Zack just shook his head and mumbled something about a stomachache. Now that John was here in front of him he was beginning to see that his feelings for John weren’t anything more than platonic. He wanted Alex. His heart needed Alex and though John had been a good placeholder he wasn’t anything more than a friend.

“Zack? Can I do anything or get you anything?”

Zack broke down at that and started sobbing again because he didn’t deserve this, he didn’t deserve for John to care so much. He had strung John along, knowing fully well that no one would ever be to him what Alex was. Alex would always have his heart.

“Zack, baby, what’s wrong?” John had wrapped Zack up into his arms, letting Zack cry into his shoulder.

“I…I…John…I…can’t” Zack sobbed incoherently into John’s shoulder and John looked bewildered, pulling Zack back so he could look into his face. Zack refused to meet his eyes but John easily held onto his chin, looking right into Zack’s red, puffy eyes.

“Zack, just tell me what’s going on.”

Zack shook his head sadly, clearing his throat and attempting to stop his tears, “It’s about Alex.”

John froze at the name. He’d heard all about Alex but not from Zack. The rumors were everywhere after what happened, when his girlfriend had died in a car accident. They said Alex had lost it and his parents had taken him away to get help but he knew Zack had been best friends with him. Zack had mentioned how much he missed him a couple times but that was the extent of it.

“What about him?”

“He’s home. He’s been home for a few weeks now.”

John just nodded for him to continue. He felt a knot forming in the back of his throat and he didn’t know why.

“I…umm…I…fuck.”

Zack sucked in a breath and finally met John’s eyes.

“He was my boyfriend, John… I was…I am in love with him.”

John looked dumbfounded. He hadn’t seen this coming. He’d never even heard rumors of Alex being gay, granted he’d gone to a different school, but still. Alex was a popular person.

“He broke up with Jenna for me and when she died that same night, he couldn’t handle it. He broke my heart that night too and you’re the only one who’s been here for me. You’ve made me feel whole again but I can’t deny my feelings for Alex. I…I love you, John…but if I stay with you then you’re not going to be happy.”

John was shaking his head at that, “I would be happy, I am happy. Zack, I love you.”

“I know but in the end you’re going to hate me because my heart belongs to Alex.”

Zack was crying softly again. He really hated himself right now. John had become his best friend over the summer and now he was breaking him.

“John, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I lead you on. I’m sorry Alex is back. I wish I could just forget about him.”

John bit his lip and looked up at Zack. It was obvious that this was really tearing him apart. He knew Zack loved him.

“It’s okay, Zack.”

“How can you say that? I’m the biggest asshole in the world.”

“Zack, you’re not. You can’t help who you fall in love with and yeah it sucks that it isn’t me because I really love you but I want you to be happy. So if Alex makes you happy then go get him.”

Zack gave a weak laugh, “I’m not so sure that’s possible anymore.”

“If you love him as much as you say you do, then it is.”

*

Zack lay on his bed looking up at the ceiling. John had left about 20 minutes ago. He hadn’t even gotten angry, he only looked sad, telling Zack that he hoped they could as least be friends, maybe not right away, but eventually. Zack had quickly agreed. He would always be there when John felt he could handle being around him again.

He looked up as someone tapped on his bedroom door.

“Hey, Zack,” Rian gave him a slight smile as he came in and sat on the edge of the bed.

“How’re you doing?”

“Did my mom call you?” Zack gave him a suspicious look; it was obvious to him that Rian somehow knew what had just happened. Rian nodded and reached out to grip Zack’s knee.

“I’m sorry, do you want to talk about it?”

Zack just shook his head. It was over and there wasn’t really anything more to say about it.

“Are you going to tell, Alex?”

Zack shook his head again, “He wouldn’t care. I told him I wouldn’t, I hurt him and he told me to go away. Jack told me to stay away from him too.”

“I think you’d be surprised. Alex loves you; he wants to be with you. So go be with him. John isn’t a problem anymore, Jenna isn’t there, you guys can make this work, but you have to go to him because Alex is broken. He isn’t as strong as you are.”

Zack sighed and looked back up at his ceiling. He was afraid to get rejected again.

“Just fucking do it, Zack. You won’t ever be happy if you don’t even try.”