A Night To Remember
Mike 101
After Breakfast Gerard and I went on a walk, there were some thing's that needed to be said and question's that needed to be answered. You would think that eating breakfast with your number one favorite band would make some one happy. I was happy don't get me wrong, but my heart and mind seem to be haunted by four letter's M.I.K.E I couldn’t stop thinking about him. About the good time's we had and the bad. To be honest it haunted me every day. There wasn't a day that I would think about him or what he was doing. Then the fear would creep in I would begin to remember his voice, not the sweet soft voice that once swept me off my feet. The rough shouting voice filled with anger. My thoughts were broken by Gerard's sweet voice calling out my name.
"Maria?" He nudged my arm a little. By this time we had already been on our walk yet I couldn’t bring my self to answer his question.
"Maria, I hate to pry but I would like to know what the whole deal with Mike was. I can't help but to notice that you haven't really been all here; if you know what I mean." I took a breath in and thought about how to answer his question.
"Mike, well I guess I should start from the beginning. Mike was my high school sweet heart. He wasn't always like that, he was sweet and kind and very protective. We fell in love when I was 17 year's old, of course it was that whole high school sweet heart bit. Long story short we decided to move out here to Oregon and start our lives together. Everything was going great I was happy, until Mike started hanging out with the wrong crowd. At first it wasn't a big deal it was just him drinking, but then it was the Meth. He swore he only tried it once and that was it. A few week's later I found out he was still doing it. He wasn't the same anymore; he was always getting mad at every little thing. The first night he hit me, he was on it. I didn’t know, I snapped at him because he didn’t put his things away from work. He just snapped and slapped me. He asked me to forgive him and I did, he said he would never lay a hand on me again. But of course that was a lie as well. Within a month it was worse; he would get home and just yell for every little thing. The abuse got worse by second month. I was afraid to leave; he told me he would kill me if I ever left him. By the fifth month I couldn’t do it anymore. I was completely broken down; I was afraid of everything and everyone. Finally I reached out to my aunt Laura. She gave me the strength to leave him. One day while he was at work, I packed up my things and left. I stayed with my aunt and asked for a transfer from Sprint stores. I hid pretty well from him, I didn’t hear from him at all until of course this morning."
I looked to face Gerard, he seemed somber. Looking at me, I tried my hardest to hold my tear's in. I could feel them sting my eyes and a sob escaped my mouth. As I looked into his hazel eye's all I could say was "Gerard I’m scared. What if he comes back?" I broke down crying and Gerard wrapped his arms around me.
"Everything is going to be fine sugar. I’m not going to let anything happen to you. He is in jail and you are here with us. None of us are going to allow anything to happen to you. I promise."
He gently whipped the tears away from my cheeks and kissed my lips so softly. I did feel safe with him, I couldn’t deny that. I couldn’t bring my self to bring him into this mess. I felt guilty; he had nothing to do with it. This was my mess and I needed to clean it up. I was tired of running and tired of hurting the people around me. I know it had only been a few days of knowing Gerard and the guy's but I couldn’t hurt them this way. I knew I had to leave; this is a battle I have to fight on my own. The problem was could I really leave?
"What's going on in that mind of yours? Why won’t you let me in?" He asked as he lifted my face so that our eyes could meet.
"You wouldn’t like what's in here; it's pretty scary and chaotic. Let's just enjoy each other's time right now can we? I don't want to think anymore. My brain feels exhausted. Can we just lay here on the grass and watch the stars?"
"Anything you want as long as you smile for me."
I gave him a faint smile, I knew it wasn't much but given the circumstances that's all I could muster out of me. I felt broken inside; everything had been going so good. That joy I felt was shattered into tiny pieces. I felt my body sink into the grass and I could feel the cool breeze stroke my skin. I closed my eyes and before I knew it I had fallen asleep. I could hear the faint beating of Gerard’s heart pounding in his chest.
"Maria?" He nudged my arm a little. By this time we had already been on our walk yet I couldn’t bring my self to answer his question.
"Maria, I hate to pry but I would like to know what the whole deal with Mike was. I can't help but to notice that you haven't really been all here; if you know what I mean." I took a breath in and thought about how to answer his question.
"Mike, well I guess I should start from the beginning. Mike was my high school sweet heart. He wasn't always like that, he was sweet and kind and very protective. We fell in love when I was 17 year's old, of course it was that whole high school sweet heart bit. Long story short we decided to move out here to Oregon and start our lives together. Everything was going great I was happy, until Mike started hanging out with the wrong crowd. At first it wasn't a big deal it was just him drinking, but then it was the Meth. He swore he only tried it once and that was it. A few week's later I found out he was still doing it. He wasn't the same anymore; he was always getting mad at every little thing. The first night he hit me, he was on it. I didn’t know, I snapped at him because he didn’t put his things away from work. He just snapped and slapped me. He asked me to forgive him and I did, he said he would never lay a hand on me again. But of course that was a lie as well. Within a month it was worse; he would get home and just yell for every little thing. The abuse got worse by second month. I was afraid to leave; he told me he would kill me if I ever left him. By the fifth month I couldn’t do it anymore. I was completely broken down; I was afraid of everything and everyone. Finally I reached out to my aunt Laura. She gave me the strength to leave him. One day while he was at work, I packed up my things and left. I stayed with my aunt and asked for a transfer from Sprint stores. I hid pretty well from him, I didn’t hear from him at all until of course this morning."
I looked to face Gerard, he seemed somber. Looking at me, I tried my hardest to hold my tear's in. I could feel them sting my eyes and a sob escaped my mouth. As I looked into his hazel eye's all I could say was "Gerard I’m scared. What if he comes back?" I broke down crying and Gerard wrapped his arms around me.
"Everything is going to be fine sugar. I’m not going to let anything happen to you. He is in jail and you are here with us. None of us are going to allow anything to happen to you. I promise."
He gently whipped the tears away from my cheeks and kissed my lips so softly. I did feel safe with him, I couldn’t deny that. I couldn’t bring my self to bring him into this mess. I felt guilty; he had nothing to do with it. This was my mess and I needed to clean it up. I was tired of running and tired of hurting the people around me. I know it had only been a few days of knowing Gerard and the guy's but I couldn’t hurt them this way. I knew I had to leave; this is a battle I have to fight on my own. The problem was could I really leave?
"What's going on in that mind of yours? Why won’t you let me in?" He asked as he lifted my face so that our eyes could meet.
"You wouldn’t like what's in here; it's pretty scary and chaotic. Let's just enjoy each other's time right now can we? I don't want to think anymore. My brain feels exhausted. Can we just lay here on the grass and watch the stars?"
"Anything you want as long as you smile for me."
I gave him a faint smile, I knew it wasn't much but given the circumstances that's all I could muster out of me. I felt broken inside; everything had been going so good. That joy I felt was shattered into tiny pieces. I felt my body sink into the grass and I could feel the cool breeze stroke my skin. I closed my eyes and before I knew it I had fallen asleep. I could hear the faint beating of Gerard’s heart pounding in his chest.