The Remains Of My Wasted Youth.

Zack looked like he was going to stay with me, but I didn't think that that was such a good idea. I let go of his hand and pushed him towards the door.

"Go, babe," I said, the word slipping easily from my lips. I flushed slightly, but Zack hadn't even seemed to notice. He was staring at my parents with ill disguised contempt, and it was making me slightly nervous. I didn't want there to be any tension between my parents and Zack before I'd even properly introduced them.

He glanced worriedly at me again, but then headed for the door. He paused with his hand on the door knob and his eyes locked with mine.

"Call me if you need anything," he said roughly, and then opened the door and was gone.

When I turned back around, my dad and mom had taken their usual places at the table. Except this time, there was no warm smelling food, no drinks, nothing but empty spaces and crossed arms and frowning faces. Reluctantly, I pulled out a chair and sat down, too, imitating their crossed arms and stern looks perfectly.

"When were you going to tell us that you were involved with someone?" my dad asked, getting straight to the point. I had known that this was going to be the first thing they asked.

"We're not officially together, Dad. We're friends, we're taking it slow." My face warmed as I pictured some of the things that Zack and I had done - not exactly friend stuff, but that was besides the point. They didn't have to know what had already gone on between Zack and me, even though I had a feeling that they were able to guess a great deal.

My mother, even the blunt one, decided that just guessing wasn't enough. "Are you two sleeping together, Alexander?"

Full name. Gulp. I shook my head slowly - it was true, we hadn't slept together. Not quite. "No, Mom, we're not sleeping together."

My mom looked at me for a long minute. I looked back, meeting her gaze dead on. She turned her head finally, seeming satisfied. She had always been able to tell when I was lying or not - it was unnerving, but it was also a good thing, because she'd never had any reason not to trust me.

"Why do you guys seem so disapproving? You've never cared if I had a boyfriend before," I said, and this was true. Back in Essex, I'd dated a few guys, nothing serious, but my parents had always welcomed them with open arms. They had always supported me. They had always said that as long as I was happy, I was doing the right thing.

"It's only been a few weeks, Alexander. How much can you possibly know about this boy? How can you know that his feelings are what they say they are, that he is who he says he is?"

This came from my mom, always the practical one.

"It's true, I don't know everything about Zack. I don't know exactly how he feels, either. Which is why I said we're taking it slow! Isn't that how we're supposed to be doing it? If it feels right, give it a chance? Didn't you say that to me once?" I flung my mother's words back in her face, anger slowly building.

My mom sighed. "Calm down, Alex."

This enraged me even more. "Calm down? CALM DOWN? You just embarrased me in front of my friends and threw my potential boyfriend out without even an explanation. Do you have any idea what he's probably thinking right now? That you're unsupporting, that you're judgemental, that you're fucking homophobic, for God's sake! If you had seen how you'd looked at us when you walked in ... I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't want to see me anymore!"

Tears had built up and spilt over without me even realizing and I wiped at them angrily. They only fueled to make me even angrier, angry enough that I was shaking and felt like I could come out of my skin.

"You know none of that is true, Alexander. We've always supported you. We've never once judged you. And we're in no way or shape homophobic and you know that." My dad sounded hurt and disgusted at the same time.

"I do, but Zack doesn't!" I replied sharply.

"Why does that boy mean so much to you already, Alex?" My mom asked this as she looked at me. "He's just a boy, you know."

"And you're just a bunch of idiots! What do you know about love? You've forgotten how to love since Tom died, don't think I haven't seen that! You say you want what's best for me, but that can't be since you don't seem to like 'that boy.' HIS NAME IS ZACK, BY THE WAY." I couldn't stay calm if I tried and the last part of my rage fueled sentence came out high pitched and teary.

"We know who he is, Alex. His name is Zachary Merrick."

My dad's calm sentence shocked me into silence for a minute. I'd never once mentioned Zack's last name, ever. I'd never even called him Zachary, it had always been Zack.

"What, did you check him out or something?" I asked angrily. I really wouldn't put that past my parents.

"Don't be ridiculous, Alex. Of course not. It just happens that we know his parents." My dad shrugged at me, as if the answer should be obvious.

"You know his parents?" I was beyond confused. I'd never even met Zack's parents. Whenever I asked about them, his vague answer was that they were working. I'd gotten the impression that he didn't get along with them.

"Business connections," my mom said hurriedly. "We met them several times on business down here."

For the last few months before our move, my parents had flown down because of business. That much I could believe. But knowing Zack's parents ... I found that really hard to believe. Zack's family hardly seemed to be on the same level as mine.

"So what does this have to do with Zack and I?" This conversation was really getting nowhere, in my opinion.

"He's a troubled kid, Alex," my mom said softly. "He lost his brother and the boy he liked right around the same time. One died, one moved away. But the sad part was - the boy he was in love with was in love with his brother. And Zack couldn't stand that - he tried to do things, Alex, bad things. He's possessive and clingy and I just don't want you to get hurt. He's dangerous."

Zack had been in love with someone else? And that other person had loved his brother? What kind of fool would not love Zack?

"According to his mom, he's still in love with this kid. It's an unhealthy obsession - he should have moved on. But he hasn't, and I'm scared that maybe he's going to transfer his affections to you. He's hurt people once, Alex. He could do it again."

My ears were ringing. They had to be lying to me. None of this was making any sense, and my stomach was starting to hurt.

"You don't know what you're saying," I whispered, my lips trembling. "Stop lying."

"We're not lying, Alex," my dad said in a low voice. "We're trying to protect you."

"I don't need your protection! Zack would never hurt me, ever! He's perfect and amazing and you're just jealous because he loves me more than you ever did!"

I got up from the table, not even registering the hurt and shocked expressions on my parents' faces. I ran up the stairs and threw myself across my bed, sobbing. I had locked the door and it wasn't long before I heard my parents' rattling the doorknob.

"Go away!" I screamed.

After a few minutes, my parents footsteps went back down the stairs and I'd stopped shaking. Taking a few deep breaths, I picked up the phone and called Zack. He answered on the first ring.

"Are you okay, Lex?" No hello, just this as a way of greeting.

"I'm fine, I guess," I said. "But, Zack, did you know that my parents know your parents?"

There was a moment's hesitation and when Zack answered, his voice seemed weird. "What, really? I didn't know that. Weird."

Weird, indeed. "And, Zack -" my voice broke slightly. "Zack, they told me that you were in love with someone else, someone that left."

The silence was longer this time and his answer was really rushed. "That was a long time ago, Lex. He's got nothing on you. I have to go, see you tomorrow."

I was left with a dial tone in my ear, questions in my head, and pain in my heart.