The Remains Of My Wasted Youth.

It'd been a long week. School sucked more and more and I was getting antsy, sitting in class for hours on end.

It didn't help that one) we had subsitute who couldn't control the class so everyone was literally going wild around me and two) Alex hadn't come to school this morning. He'd texted me saying he was going with his dad in the morning to get an anniversary present for his mother and then he was just gonna take advantage of the fact that his dad was letting him stay home. Lucky ass.

I pulled out my phone. If everyone else was going to ignore the rules and do everything from throwing things to pretty much having sex on the desks, I could damn well text Alex.

Hey baby, how are you?

I only had to wait a few minutes before my phone buzzed, signaling a new text. Sure enough, it was from Alex.

Good, but I miss you. We found my mom the perfect present. I wish you cwuld come to the annivesary party.

Right. Alex's parents were having an anniversary party for their 25th wedding anniversary and Alex had been bugging me and bugging me to go with him. As he put it 'my parents know we're dating and while they refuse to even mention you, they're too polite to tell someone I love to fuck off'. Maybe that was true, but there was more to it than Alex knew and he wanted it to stay that way.

We've been over this, Lex. It's not a good idea. If you really want your parents to like me, give them time. I'm not going to crash a party where I'm not wanted. That won't make them like me.

It didn't even take two seconds for Alex to answer me this time.

Babe please. They will like you I swear.

ALEX, please. Stop. I said no.

Buzzzzz. Fine.

Damn. He only ever texted one word answers when he was pissed. I'd gone and pissed him off, as if today wasn't already bad enough. I sighed and slipped my phone back into my pocket, and ran a hand through my hair.

I heard a shuffling noise behind me. "Hey, Merrick, you weren't texting, were you? You wouldn't break the rules now, would you?"

The voice belonged to the school's bully, a pathetic big guy named Mark, who tended to torment everyone he knew that he could get to cower and cry. He'd never tried anything on me before now, and it was with some surprise that I turned to face him. He was sitting behind me now, with two of his cronies, Jim and Stuart.

I tried to joke with them. I wasn't scared, but I didn't wany any trouble, either. "Nah, man, you can't really say I'm breaking the rules compared to everyone else, now can you?"

He just stared at me. "Who were you texting?"

I shifted uncomfortably and chose not to answer. Wrong choice.

"I bet he was texting his little boyfriend, since he's not here," sneered Stuart. "Oh, baby, this class sucks, come suck my dick," he crooned in a high pitched voice.

"Leave him alone," I said with an edge to my voice. "He's never given you any reason to dislike him." Just great. The school bullies had figured that Alex was weaker than them, and he was probably going to be their next target. Could life get any better?!

But Mark surprised me. "No, you're right, Merrick. He's never done anything to us. Seems likes a good kid. Quiet, too quiet, but I'm sick of loud mouths. No, I was wondering why you're messing with him, Merrick."

My head was spinning. I managed to croak out one word and one work only. "What?"

"You're using his memory loss against him, aren't you? Now, I may be a bully, but even I know that's not right."

I felt like I couldn't breathe, felt like a thousand waves had dragged me down under water and no matter how hard I fought, I couldn't push my way to the surface. I was blinded by terror. What did these guys know? They knew that he'd dated my brother, sure, but no one else knew anything else, right? Even my parents had never said anything about Alex's being there when the accident happened because with his memory loss, his parents would have sued the pants off of us.

"That's right, Merrick. Do you think people are stupid? How do you think Gaskarth would feel if he found out that you were obsessed with him for all these years? If he suddenly remembered that he was in love with your brother, not you." These words were cruel and vicious and meant to strike me in the heart, and they did.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I whispered, my voice hoarse.

"Or maybe he wouldn't care. Maybe he was in love with you, too, and your brother got in the way. Is that it, Zack?" His voice, saying my first name, was venomous. "Did he kill your brother so he could have you?"

His face got closer and I couldn't move. I was frozen, the blood boiling through my veins.

"Or maybe," he said, his voice softer, "maybe you killed him. Because you wanted Alex to yourself. Is that is, Merrick. Is it?"

The next few seconds felt like they took place in slow motion. I leapt off my chair, my arms and knees slamming into Mark. His chair flipped over, both of us landing on the ground. I couldn't even think, I couldn't have stopped if I wanted to. I was blinded by rage. I punched him hard, and kept punching him until his friends pulled me off of him. His lips were bloody, and his eyes swollen.

"I bet you did do it, Merrick," he panted, his eyes glassy from the pain and fear. "You're a monster."

The teacher made it over to me.

"MR.MERRICK, THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOUR. WHY, IN ALL MY TEACHING YEARS, I'VE NEVER SEEN SOMETHING LIKE THAT." Her eyes were wild and her hair was everywhere and for some strange reason I had the urge to laugh.

"You must have been teaching kindergarteners, then," I said, unable to stop myself. Who was this person in my head today?

"GET OUT! OFFICE! NOW" She yelled so loud that I was surprised that the principal wasn't waiting at the door for me when I got there.

I turned. "I'm gonna go home, I think. Tell Mr.Scott to call home and tell me how long my vacation is, all right?" I saluted her, to the classes' astonishment, and walked outside.

The walk to my car calmed me down somewhat. There was no way that those bullies could know anything, right? They were just very good at using peoples' weaknesses against them. That was it, that was all.

But still. I knew I needed to talk to Alex, with or without his parents' permission, and soon.

I drove in silence and was at Alex's before I knew it. His dad's car in the driveway almost made me turn around, but instead I walked right up to the door and knocked.

Peter opened the door and it was like a trip back into the past. He hadn't changed much, aged quite a bit, but was still a smartly dressed man who demanded respect.

"Hello, sir. May I see Alex?" I was very polite, and shoved my hands into my pockets as I waited for an answer.

After what seemed like an eternity, he opened the door all the way and motioned me in. As I turned towards the stairs, I felt a firm grip on my shoulder. I turned, and Peter's eyes were fixed directly on mine.

"No funny business, boy."

He walked away then, and I walked upstairs and knocked on Alex's door. Without waiting for him to answer, I opened the door. He was sitting on the floor with wrapping paper and scissors and tape and what was apparently his mom's present. He looked cute, even cuter when he looked up at me with surprised happiness.

"Zack!" He got to his feet and wrapped his arms around me and I felt a swell of love. "What are you doing here?"

"School got boring?" I joked, hoping he'd leave it at that. Of course, he didn't.

"No, there's something else. Tell me, babe."

I sighed. "I got suspsended."

Surprised, Alex just looked at me and I knew he was waiting for an explanation.

"I got into a fight with the school bullies," I said. He didn't need to know the details. "They were bored cause we had an awful sub in Economics and they took it out on me. They didn't expect me to fight back."

"Oh, baby. Are you okay?"

"Of course. I took care of them, I did."

Alex shook his head. "What am I going to do with you?"

I smiled slowly. "How about tying me up and spanking me?" I said with a wink. I had the satisfaction of watching his face go red. I was never going to get sick of his innocence.

"ZACK! My dad's downstairs." He paused, and then it seemed to hit him. "My dad actually let you up?"

"Yeah .. he just told me 'no funny business'."

Alex beamed. "See, I told you it was okay! He doesn't hate you! Won't you come to the party, please? PLEASE!"

How could I say no to that face? I couldn't, I really couldn't.

"Okay ... but on one condition."

Alex jumped up and down! "YES! I love you, baby, I love you! Wait .. what's the condition?"

I smirked. "Blow me."

He threw a pillow at me then, and tackled me instead. He fell on top of me and we wrestled for a few minutes before we both collapsed, smiling.

"I'm really happy you said yes, Zack. You'll see, everything will be fine."

I could only hope he was right.