The Remains Of My Wasted Youth.

"I really wish you hadn't invited that boy, Alex," my mom said sadly. "I just don't think this is the right time or place for your family to meet your, um, friend."

I rolled my eyes, pretending to act casual, but her bitchy attitude was pissing me off. She knew damn well that me and Zack were more than friends, but she'd been acting as if we were little children who'd arranged a playdate together.

"He's not my friend, Mother," I said forcefully. "He's my boyfriend. And I really wish you'd accept that."

She pretended not to hear him as she checked various salads and sandwiches for the thousandth time that night. She deliberately kept her back to me, not wanting to look me in the eye as she delivered her next cutting remark.

"I just don't know why he has to be here tonight. It's a family party. He's not family."

Fury washed over me. "Neither are the Steiners, the Perrys, whatever other friends you've inivted from work and stuff. Zack could become family quicker than any of them. What if it's more serious than your stupid joking and deliberate ignorant remarks will accept? What if we're in love? What if we get married one day?"

My mom looked at me then, her eyes hard. "Gay marriage is illegal in Maryland."

"So we'll move somewhere else!" I exploded. "The point is, you're going to have to accept him whether you want to or not!"

My mom sighed and sat down beside me, her tone placating. "I just wish you'd be careful. Have you ever thought that you barely know him? I just don't want you to get hurt."

I rolled my eyes. "And introducing him to the family is going to get me hurt? At worst, it doesn't work out and they all feel sorry for me for the next thousand years. At least I'm not like Jessie." My cousin Jessie bounced from guy to guy, and it had gotten to the point that at family get togethers, no one even bothered trying to remember her current boyfriend's name, because he would be gone by the next one.

"I know that," my mom said. "I just ... it's not the same. You might find that some of the family are even less accepting of you and Zack than they are of Jessie's love affairs."

I looked at her in horror. "Are you saying that they're homophobic?!" That thought had, stupidly, never occured to me.

But my mom was shaking her head, getting to her feet. "You'll see in good time, Alex. Just try to relax, have a good time. He's just a boy. Remember that."

Just a boy. A boy with beautiful eyes, a strong, warm body, soft kissable lips, thick hair, a sweet smile ... it was too late for warnings because I was desperately in love with him.

I sighed and went upstairs to get ready. I had a hard time deciding on what to wear, and an even harder time getting my hair to cooperate with me. I had just finished brushing my teeth when there was a knock on my door.

Zack stood there looking amazing in a long sleeved dress shirt and black pants. He was smiling awkwardly and shifting his weight from foot to foot.

"Hi," I said breathlessly. "You look great."

"Thanks, so do you," he said. "I uh, I brought you a present."

My eyes lit up instantly. "You did?!"

He nodded shyly and held out an envelope. I all but ripped it from his hands and ripped into it to see what was inside. There were six tickets to ... Blink 182!!!

I threw my arms around him and squeezed him as tightly as I could. "Blink tickets! I love you so much!" I'd been complaining forever that I hadn't been able to get Blink tickets to their upcoming show and I'd been so bummed out about it. And now ... I had them!

"How'd you get these?" I asked, not really caring though. BLINK tickets!

"Oh you know, I just had to become someone's sex slave for the next 10 years or so," he said, shrugging. "No big deal."

I smacked him lightly. "You can't be anyone's sex slave. Except mine, eventually."

He winked at me. "Do you think we have time for a quick make out session before people start getting here?"

I checked the clock quickly, even though I was already tugging him completely inside the room and closing the door. "Of course," I all but purred, and pushed him onto my bed. I locked my bedroom door to be sure that no one could bother us, and then I crawled on top of him.

Our lips met in a fiery passion. My tongue begged for entrance into his mouth, and within seconds, I was scraping my teeth along his tongue and sucking it passionately. His hands were on my hips, his nails biting into my skin. I pushed myself closer against him, reveling in the hardness that I felt underneath me.

His lips attacked my neck, and he found my sweet spot so easily. I moaned, not caring who could hear us. Pure pleasure raced through my body, and I moaned his name.

"Someone's hot and bothered tonight," Zack whispered, sliding a hand up to palm me through my jeans. I purred then, thrusting forward, annoyed with the clothing that was seperating Zack's hand from me.

"That's what happens when I've been thinking about you all day," I muttered, struggling to get my jeans off. Finally free of them, Zack's hand slipped inside my boxers, one finger trailing over my hardness.

"Are you sure this isn't just your way of saying thanks for the tickets," he teased, his touch feather light. I strained forward, but he moved his hand away.

"They sure didn't hurt," I panted, frustrated because he wouldn't touch me. "Damn it, Zack, just touch me already, please!"

He smirked, and pulled away from me. With one move, my boxers were on the floor and he was on his knees in front of me. He ran a hand up my dick, cupped my balls, and slowly sucked the head into his mouth. His mouth was hot and tight and I was going crazy. I dug my hands into his hair, forcing him further down on me. He took my whole length into his mouth, and then licked me up and down a few times. He sucked on the head, licking and sucking like it was a lollipop. I could feel the pleasure in every part of my body.

His other hand was near my ass, lightly stroking against my ass crack. I pushed against his finger, wanting it inside me. I didn't think it could possibly hurt, not with the pleasure I was feeling now. I moved a bit, allowing my ass cheeks to spread open. I felt him stop sucking me, surprised.

"A-Alex?" He asked, not sure of what I was offering.

"Finger me, Zack. I need some part of you inside me," I begged. "Please."

"Do you have any lube?" he asked.

"There's baby oil on my dresser," I said, my voice strained. I wanted him to hurry.

He was gone not even three seconds. I flinched when he poured the oil onto my skin because it was cold and I was on fire.

I felt the pressure of his finger as it pushed into me, and I pushed against him, wanting to hurry the process. Maybe it was because I was so turned on, but there seemed to be very little resistance and his finger slipped into me completely. He started thrusting it in and out, and his other hand started jerking off my dick.

I moaned louder and louder. "More. I need more," I begged, not exactly sure what I wanted but knowing that I neeed it now.

Zack slipped his finger from me and within seconds I felt it replaced by something bigger, harder. "Are you sure this is what you want, babe?" he asked softly.

"Yes," I groaned. "Please."

I could hear his smirk. "Sure thing."

He pressed against me, the head of his dick slipping into me. I moaned and he pushed in more. I felt myself being stretched, and it hurt, but I didn't say anything. I bit my lip, closing my eyes as he pushed more and more inside me. Finally it was all in.

He moved the slightest bit and sensations ricocheted through my body. I moaned again.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked quickly.

"A little, but it feels good now," I said honestly. "You can move now. I'm ready."

So he moved, slowly at first, and then faster and faster until he was slamming into me, his thrusts bring me an exotic sense of pleasure that I'd never experienced before. I starting jerking my dick at the same time, and we were both getting pretty close.

"I'm gonna come," he groaned, digging his nails into my hips.

"Me to-ooooh", I said started, but before I even finished, my dick twitched and I came all over my bed.

At the same time, I felt my ass being filled up with warm liquid. Zack collasped on top of me, both of us breathing heavily.

I moved underneath him, and he let me roll out from under his sticky body.

"That was amazing. Why did we wait so long?" I asked.

Zack laughed. "You're terrible. You might feel differently in the morning when you find out how much it hurts."

I scoffed, and got off my bed to walk into the bathroom. I cleaned up as best as I could, put my pants and boxers back on, and combed my hair. Zack did the same, and then took my hand.

"Think your parents will know that we just fucked?" he asked with a smirk.

"One way to tell," I said, and opened the door. "Let's go."

We trailed downstairs. About half the guests were already in the family room. I wasn't worried about them having heard us because our walls were very insulated. Thank God. I tightned my grip on Zack's hand, ready for whatever was to come.

****************************************************************

About two hours into the party and everything was going fantastic. My relatives said nothing about me being gay, they all seemed to approve of Zack, in fact teasing him because he was so shy. He'd gotten a few weird looks from my Baltimore family. Maybe they'd seen him around. In fact, my cousin Josh, a few years older than us, had been staring at him all night. Either he was trying to place where he'd seen him, or he found him cute. I had a hard time believing it was the second one because Josh was engaged to a very pretty girl.

Zack was currently sitting with one of my younger cousins, who had been peppering him with questions about skateboarding since he'd found out he skated. Zack didn't seem to mind, though.

My mom came over to me. "Having a good time?" she asked, smiling at me.

I was ready to forgive her for her attitude from earlier. "Yes. And see, Zack's on his best behaviour. I made him promise."

She laughed, but her expression was weird. It only lasted for a second, though. "Nanny, Poppa and Uncle Raymond should be here soon. They told me they'd be late because of some thing or other. If I'm in the kitchen, get them settled, all right?"

Uncle Raymond was my over the top loud mouth obnoxious uncle. He was known for vanishing for long periods of time and then reappearing as if nothing had changed. He never kept an opinion to himself. I felt a frisson of fear, but brushed it away. I hadn't seem him since .. I couldn't remember when. Maybe he'd changed.

It was only a matter of minutes before the doorbell rang. I let my grandparents and uncle in. They handed me their coats and we chitchatted. Zack chose that moment to come over to me.

"Alex, hey -" he started, but then stopped. "Hello," he said politely.

My grandparents responded likewise, but Raymond just stared.

"Zachary Merrick," he said slowly. "Well I'll be damned. I haven't seen you since -"

"You two know each other?" I asked, confused.

He looked at me, puzzled. "Well, of course. He used to hang around with you and your brother all the time when you guys lived around here. What's the deal? You two datin'?"

"We lived around here?" There seemed to be fog surrounding my brain because nothing was making sense at all anymore.

My uncle was looking at me as if I'd grown another head, and my grandparents were looking at him as if they wanted to murder him.

"Uh, duh, kid? You moved away after the accident. Your parents hustled you away fast enough, that's for sure. Now I'm seeing why - you're brain damaged, aren't you? Damn, that's rough. I always thought they hustled you off because muscle kid's parents there blamed you for their kid's death."

I stood, stunned. My uncle continued on, not realizing the hush that had fallen over the room.

"Yeah, it was pretty nasty. Don't see how they could have blamed you, though. You were just a kid, really. And in love with the brother, too. It's kind of fitting now, isn't it, that you're dating the other one. Keeping it in the family, huh?" he chuckled, obviously pleased with himself, and obviously drunk.

My head was spinning. I was looking at Zack, waiting for him to tell me this was some sort of crazy dream, but he said nothing, he just stood there, looking broken.

Fragments of my dreams came crashing back down over me. The nameless, faceless stranger. Zack's brother. Who I'd loved. Zack. Who I loved. My head was filled with a roaring white noise. I pictured Zack earlier from upstairs, his body slick with sweat as he laid on top of me. My parents, and all their whispered conversations. Jack's weird attitude when I'd told him my parent's names. Everyone knew. Everyone but me. I'd been played the fool.

Did Zack blame me for his brother's death? I bet he did. He was using me. He was just using me. The room was spinning, and I reached out for something, anything, but there was nothing there.

Nothing except the floor rushing up to meet me.