The Remains Of My Wasted Youth.

The house was silent, too silent, as I opened the door and walked inside. I wandered through the downstairs rooms, looking for a sign that someone was home. Both cars were gone but Tom could be here. He was usually here on Sunday night, sleeping off his weekend hangover.

"Tom?" I called, climbing the stairs. "Tom, I need to ask you something." The stairs creaked as I climbed them, but there was no answering call, no stirring at all in the house. I thought I'd seen my brothers' shoes in the entry, but maybe I'd been wrong.

"Tom?" I called yet again. As I reached the landing I saw a dim light coming from inside my brothers room. Relief rushed over me. He was there. Everything was going to be fine.

I knocked on the door and then walked in. "Tom, I need to know if -" My words stuck in my throat and the very air I was attempting to breathe started choking me. My hands flew to my throat and I sank to my knees.

My beautiful older brother was in his closet, his skin almost blue. A thin red rope hung around his throat. A thin smear of blood trailed down his neck. He was dressed in a simple shirt and jeans, and the ring I'd given him for his 25th birthday was still on his bloated fingers.

I screamed then, racing into the closet. I pulled and pulled on the flimsy rope until finally Tom's body was freed, falling on me. I hugged his dead body, tears seeping down my cheeks. I didn't even check for a pulse, I knew it was useless. I stayed like that for hours. I pressed my cheek against his, and held his icy hands in mine. The hot tears splashing down my cheeks was the only thing reminding me that I was alive. I didn't hear the door, I didn't hear the creaks on the stairs or our names being called. I didn't even see the light as the door opened.

All I heard were the awful screams that tore from my parents throats. I felt arms around me. I felt them trying to pry Tom from my arms but I wouldn't let him go. I held onto him as if he was all I had, and I looked at my parents, with my eyes full of guilt and sorrow.

"I should have stopped him."

I kicked my legs out from my blankets, my body moving restlessly as I flailed around under my covers. My arms were searching for something in the darkness, and even in sleep I could feel the wetness on my cheeks. My breathing was ragged and I cried out the same name over and over.

"Tom! Tom! Tom!" My hands brushed the wall, tore at the blankets. I fought to be free of what was consuming me.

Tears rained down my cheeks and I reached out again, wanting something, anything. "Someone, help me," I cried. "Why can't someone help me?"

And just like that, a shape appeared in front of me. I cried out again and started kicking at the blankets, struggling against the helplessness that was building up inside of me. My legs felt like they were molded in cement and my arms were as useless as butterflys' wings. Suddenly, the dream I was having switched into even more of a horror.

I was plunged into absolute darkness. Everything in the room, living or otherwise, vanished. I reached out to touch something, anything, but I couldn't find one thing to make contact with. My eyes burned from straining in the darnkess.

Up ahead, a light began to glow and in a daze, I began to walk towards it. The light flickered, and the closer I got, the dimmer it became.

Tom's dead body appeared before me, in the dim light. It was glowing and I watched in horror as it began to lift in the air, his eyes snapping open and his palms spreading wide.

"Alex," he said, almost in a sing song voice. "Why didn't you help me? I needed you and you weren't there."

I dropped to my knees, begging for forgiveness. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, Tommy, I swear."

He sneered, the sound filling the small space. A second body, one that I couldn't quite place appeared in front of me. The boy was tall, with dark hair and dark eyes. His face was horribly disfigured. In fact, his whole body was covered with terrible burn marks. His arms were red, and his fingers were mangled into one ugly, unrecognizable shape.

"I bet you didn't mean for me to get hurt either, did you, Lexy? But guess what ... I'm dead too, and it's all your fault!"

The two figures advanced towards me, waving their hands. "We loved you, Alex. How could you betray us like this?"

Flames appeared out of nowhere, instantly consuming the two dead boys standing in front of me. Their screams sliced my skin, their tears scathed my body, their pleas burned my eyes and ears. I tried to reach them, running forward, but at the same time, a rope tied around my ankles was dragging me back, back, back, and the further I got pulled, the closer their screams seemed.

"Alexxxxxx, save us, Alexxxxxxx."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The scream tore from my throat. I clawed at the blankets, falling out of my bed and landing on the floor with a loud thump. I reached out blindly, calling out.

"Kevin," I whimpered, curling into a ball. "Kevin, come back. I need you." Hysterical tears fell all around me and the darkness seemed to consume me. I wrapped my arms around my shaking body and just rocked back and forth.

And suddenly, the shape that I'd thought was only part of my dream materialized in front of me. It was tall, with dark hair and dark eyes, and I reached out for him, wrapping my arms around the figure and burying my face in his neck.

"I knew you'd come back for me," I breathed.