There for You

He was so much more than she thought he’d ever be – he’d done more for her than she’d ever asked of him, and she loved him with every single inch of her being. She cherished the quickest little brushes of skin and the faint memory of what once was. She pretended, though, for his sake. She pretended that she didn’t remember, nor care, about the past…because he was happy now. He was happier without her than she’d ever seen him, so she took care of him, nurtured him, coddled him, and tried her hardest to love him the best that she could without breaking her own heart.

“I don’t want to live anymore.”

“Please, don’t talk like that…you know I don’t like it when you talk like that,” she spoke in the weakest of voices, her fear as obvious as it possibly could be. She was known to be mostly fearless, she was small, and would fight anyone who’d challenge her, no matter their size, but she did have one fear – and that was losing him. She couldn’t lose him, not ever. If she lost him, she would lose herself – go crazy, get locked away for the rest of her life because she couldn’t function with him gone.

“It’s hard not to…” He murmured, flopping down onto her bed and stuffing a pillow over his face. “She broke my fucking heart. I don’t understand…” His voice was muffled by the pillow, but you could hear it in his voice. The longing, the hurt, the exhaustion, she could hear it, clear as a bell.

She didn’t understand, either, how people could treat him that way. In her eyes, he was the absolute definition of perfection, such a kind-hearted person, never with any intent to hurt anyone. And she knew, she was positive, that he didn’t deserve the treatment that he got from his significant others. The ones that used him and threw him away like he meant nothing, when in reality, at least to her, he meant everything.

She wouldn’t break his heart or treat him that way, but in that area, she was invisible. She didn’t meet his qualifications. So he continued to get hurt, and she continued to console him. It was becoming a regular routine that she hated more than anything. She hated seeing him so upset, so drained and emotionally ruined. It would take forever for him to put himself back together, only to be torn down again. It was unfair. Life was unfair, and she knew that very well.

“You deserve better.” She sat down on the bed and took the pillow away from his face, leaning down for a moment to kiss his cheek. His lips curved into a half smile, and she grinned, because that was her smile; the smile that he only used when she’d done something to make him feel better, even if it was the smallest bit.

“I really shouldn’t even complain to you - you have bigger problems. You were in a car accident, for christ’s sake. You can’t remember half of the last three years,” he whined, sitting up and crossing his legs, turning to look at her, a sympathetic look casting a shadow over his features. She hated it when he looked at her like that, especially since she did remember. She was okay now, and she remembered everything, and she wished that she didn’t.

“It’s okay, it’s fine. I’d just rather forget that it happened,” she paused to laugh ironically, “Forget, get it?”

He didn’t laugh, only rolled his eyes at her and pulled her into one of the tightest hugs she’d ever experienced in her life.

“Shut up, I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

And she did love him. That love had grown and grown and buried itself deep inside of her bones where she couldn’t grab it and pull it out, but that was okay, because he was her best friend, he was irreplaceable, he was a permanent part of her life, and because she had made him feel better for the day, and that was what she lived for; making him feel better when something had gone wrong. She lived to be there for him.