Decide

The overwelming sense of joy coursed through my veins when he said that he chose me. It was so unreal. I thought I lost him, and to hear him tell me that he chose me it was great. Of course our chat didn't last long because I had to get to my appointment, but I made him promise that he would call me everyday.

So far John has stuck to that promise, for the past 6 days he has called me. I learned why he took forever to call me and say he was in rehab, apparently his withdrawal was pretty bad so his time was mostly consumed by sleeping, and having freak outs. I understood now, but I kind of wish he had atleast had a nurse or something call me. If a nurse would have called me I would have stopped worrying so much knowing that he was going to get help. I also learned that the rehab center he was in was a 6 month treatment facility. 1 month and 6 days down, only 4 months and 26 days to go.

Today has been pretty uneventful, I'm just waiting for John to call. He said he would call after group, so I wouldn't expect a call for another 2 hours or so. I cleaned my sisters house, and started packing my bags. I don't know why though, I don't even know if John wants me to move back in. Maybe he wants to start fresh with our relationship again, I don't know that's why he needs to call so I can ask. I really want to go home.

I was almost finished packing my bags when the phone rang. I nearly squealed when I saw it was him, I was really excited to ask him but I was nervous all the same. We had our usual conversation about how treatment was today, and how I was bored out of my mind at work. He was about to hangup when I said "John, do you think maybe I could move home?" my voice was so small, I was THAT nervous. "Yeah why couldn't you?" he responded. "I don't know, maybe you decided that you wanted to start over, or maybe you decided that you're better on your own and you're just talking to me as a friend, as someone to be there for you while you're going through treatment." I guess that's what really scared me about asking, maybe he thought of me as someone he could confide in while he went through treatment and nothing more. "I wouldn't have gone to treatment if I didn't want my relationship back with you, if I didn't want to marry you, if I didn't want to have a life with you." I swear my heart swelled when he said that to me. "Do you really mean that?" "Of course I mean that, I love you." "I love you, too, John." "Look Amaiya I have to go but whenever you go home look on the table." "I will John" "Bye baby" he said, oh how good it felt to hear him call me baby again. "Bye John, I miss you" with that I hung up and finished packing. I quickly checked the house and made sure everything was unplugged, and all the lights were shut off. As I shut the door on my way out I couldn't help but smile, I'm going home.