Decide

I spent an hour with John that day, and I loved every millisecond of it. I've gone back twice since then, and we've even video chatted. Apparently you get privileges for being well behaved whilst going through withdrawal. Charlette of course has to monitor the chat, but I don't mind. I've taken quite the liking to her; she makes this process so much easier on the both of us. She calls me on the days when he isn't doing too well, so that I don't get angry and think he broke the promise he made me. She helps me when I can't handle being away from him. Charlette has become quite the friend to me.

Okay, I'm going off topic.

I woke up today to an annoying ass ringing, and checked my cell phone. Nope, that's not it. Oh shit! I see the Skype screen flashing on my macbook, and I hop out of bed and without hesitating, and answer it. "Hey baby" I said, only to receiving laughing in response from both John and Charlette. "What? What's so funny?" I ask in a serious tone. "Babe, I think you forgot to take your makeup off last night" John says while trying to stifle he laughter. I look into the tiny box view of my camera to see eyeliner spread down my cheeks. I immediately start laughing with them. I take my hands up to my face and start rubbing away at the eyeliner, when I notice John smiling like a fool. "Oh jeez, what now?" I ask "oh nothing, I just love seeing that ring on your finger." Yeah, I have my engagement ring on again, I've had it on since I've come home (that's what John meant by look on the table), and he makes a comment every time I see him. "Well of course it's on, I always wear it." I respond. John is still grinning like an idiot when I hear a feminine voice "Hi Amaiya" she said, "Oh hi Charlette, sorry I got to caught up to say hello, with the both of you laughing at me and all." We swing into a normal conversation, all three of us, when I pipe up "hey John, what's your favorite color?" "Lime green, baby, I thought you knew that" he responds. "Of course I knew that, but I just wanted to make sure before I made an ass out of myself and buy you a present you won't like." "Baby, you don't have to buy me a thing, if anything I should buy you something for sticking with my ass" he says in such a serious tone. When the words hit my ears, the waterworks start. "What's wrong?" John asks with a worried look plastered on his face. "John I didn't stick with your ass though, I packed my shit and left for a month until you called me from rehab, baby I left you." "No you didn't, you forced me to get help without even having to mutter a word. You didn't leave me baby, you helped me." I smiled slightly at his words and my tears started to slowly come to a stop. “Stay smiling, baby.” I giggled at that, and smiled this big toothy grin. “Hey John, do you think I am beautiful?” “Absolutely” he said. “Are you lying?” I asked. “Baby, no I’m not lying to you, I think you’re beyond beautiful. Why do you doubt this?” “I don’t know, I guess I’m just being stupid.” I say directing myself away from the conversation. “Please, tell me.” He pleaded with me. “Well ever since I’ve found out about the drugs I’ve been trying to figure out why you did it, and ever since I’ve had it in my head that it’s because I’m not beautiful enough, that I’m not good enough for you.” John’s eyes started to get shimmery, and I instantly regretted telling him. “Please, don’t ever think you’re not beautiful enough, or good enough, for me. You are the most beautiful person I know, inside and out, and the fact that you are here for me through this all just proves that” he said, letting a tear slip down his cheek. “Then why’d you do it?” John immediately turned his face away from the computer and looked at Charlette “I’ll tell you everything when we get home, when we have privacy.” “Do you promise me that when you get home you’ll tell me everything?” “Everything, baby, I promise” I then let the conversation go and John and I slipped into another conversation, about possibly getting a puppy when he got home. John and I were arguing about what to name the puppy even though we’d probably change our minds before the day actually came when Charlette spoke up saying it was time to go. I huffed a little because I didn’t want to say goodbye, but I did. "Bye John, I love you, I'll be there to see you next week." "Bye love, I love you too, and I can't wait to see you" he responded. "Oh bye Charlette" I managed to spit out before the camera cut out. I stared at the computer screen for a while longer, before shutting it and deciding to get on with my day.

Only one more week until I see John in person, again, and I couldn’t be more excited. ONE MORE WEEK!

3 months and 20 days down, only 2 months and 11 days left to go.