I Want It All

Alex knew he was in a Catch-22, but he didn’t know how he was supposed to fix it. Alex wanted to change her mind. He had never tried to force Lyle into anything--he wasn't an idiot. But this? This was different. She was pregnant, and with his baby. And she didn't want it. And, yeah, okay, he could easily say it was because it was his. But that wasn't the reason. He was just bitter--and salty. And he didn't know what to do.

"Why do you look more nervous than me?" Lyle asked out of the corner of her mouth as they sat in the women's clinic the following week.

Alex bit back a snarky comment. He wasn't happy with her decision but he had made a promise. And he always kept his promises. "You know why," he answered quietly.

Lyle saw his knee bouncing up and down out of the corner of her eye. With a short sigh, she reached over and grabbed his knee, stopping the action. "You can go if you want to," she said softly.

Alex looked down at her hand covering his; he shook his head. "No, I'm staying. Like I told you I would."

Lyle didn't want her relief to show, but she was almost positive that it did. She moved her hand from his knee and pulled her phone out of her pocket. She checked her emails from work, even though she had taken a week off just in case, and replied to a few before she heard her name being called.

"Ms. King?"

Lyle looked up at the nurse, her eyes growing wide.

Alex stood up first, taking her hand in his own. "Right here," he said before helping her stand.

Lyle released his hand and shoved her phone back into her purse.

Alex pulled his hood over his head and followed Lyle and the nurse. Even though there was only one other person in the waiting room, he still felt as if everyone was staring at him. Even though they weren't.

"Here you go, Ms. King," the nurse said, opening a door with a brass number four on it. "There is a gown you can change into. The doctor will be in shortly. Is this your boyfriend?"

"No," Lyle said quietly.

Alex bit the inside of his cheek. Yeah, he had kind of been hoping to change that the week before...well, before the big news happened.

"He's my best friend," Lyle added.

The nurse smiled. "Well, he won't be able to be with you during the procedure--"

"Why the hell not?" Alex asked with a frown.

"Sir, it's just our rules--"

"No offense, ma'am, but your rules suck. I have to be near her for this," he told her.

The nurse shook her head. "I'm sorry, sir, but it's against policy. She'll only be gone for about thirty minutes. You're welcome to wait in here or the waiting room," she explained.

Alex sighed.

"The doctor will be in with you in a few minutes," the nurse repeated before exiting the room.

"This is bullshit," Alex declared.

Lyle sighed, running her hands over her hair. She set her purse down in one of the empty chairs before kicking her shoes off--she left her socks on. Turning away from Alex, she changed into the paper-thin robe, folding her clothes and setting them aside.

Alex sat down in one of the chairs and reached for Lyle's hand. Without speaking, he pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her waist. He pressed his lips against her temple. "I wish I could be there with you," he whispered in the quiet room, as if someone could hear them.

Lyle nodded. "Me too," she agreed.

"Do you want me to talk to the doctor about it?"

She shook her head. "No. No, I'll manage. But thank you."

"I made a promise."

Lyle nodded slowly. "Can you make me another promise?"

Alex paused for a second. "Maybe."

"Can you promise me that...you won't hate me forever?" she asked.

He let out a sigh. "Love, I couldn't hate you if I tried."

She hid her smile by pressing her head into his shoulder. There was no one else she wanted by her side. "Thank you."

Alex held her close for a few minutes before the door opened.

"Ms. King?"

Lyle pulled away from Alex and nodded. "Yes?"

"I'm Doctor Reighard. You can come with me," she told her.

Sucking in a deep breath, Lyle stood up.

Alex still held her hand in his and pressed her knuckles to his lips. "I'll be right here waiting, okay?"

Lyle nodded before following the doctor out of the room. She didn't know what to expect--well, she kind of did--but she had to be strong. She didn't have any other choice.

+

Alex felt as if he was in the waiting room for hours. It wasn't. Hell, it wasn't even one hour. But it sure felt that way. He passed the time by texting Rian on his phone. If there was one person he wanted to talk to about the situation, it was the level-headed drummer who always said what Alex needed to hear.

But he made a promise. Quite a few of them, actually, and if he had made those promises to anyone but Lyle, he probably would've broken them already without flinching. But this was Lyle. And she was more important to him than anyone else in the world. So he couldn't risk it.

He was shaken out of his reverie by his phone ringing. Unsurprised to see that it was Jack calling, he answered before the second ring. "Hey, Jackary."

"Alexander! Where are you? I miss you."

Alex laughed softly. "I'm out with Lyle," he said awkwardly. It wasn't really a lie, but...it also wasn't really the truth."

"Oh, shit, did I interrupt anything?"

“No. No, you didn’t,” Alex assured him.

”Oh. Are you two working everything out?”

Alex shrugged before realizing Jack couldn’t see that. “Yeah, something like that.”

”You sound enthused.”

He sighed. “Sorry, Jackary, my mind is just…preoccupied.”

”Is okay. I’ll catch you back at the hotel later tonight?”

“Yeah, I’ll let you know,” Alex said, jumping slightly when the door opened and Dr. Reighard walked in. “Jack, I gotta go.”

”Okay, I’ll—“

But Alex had already hung up the phone. He stood up quickly, breath catching in his throat, until he saw Lyle walking in behind her. “Thank fuck,” he muttered, shoving his phone into his pocket. “How did it go?”

“Everything went according to plan,” Dr. Reighard said. “Here are a couple of prescriptions—one for pain and one for infection. Her immune system is compromised right now, so this is really just precautionary. She’ll be sore for a little bit. I usually recommend two to three days of bed rest. If you have any questions or concerns, just call the office. Any questions right now?”

Alex nodded, shoving the prescriptions in his pocket and reaching out towards Lyle, taking her hand.

“I’ll leave you to get dressed. Just stop at the desk on your way out to settle out your payment,” Dr. Reighard told them with a nod before exiting the office.

Alex pulled her into his arms, hugging her tightly. “How are you feeling?”

“A little sore,” she admitted, “but I feel good.”

He smiled. “That’s all I care about. Do you…need help getting dressed?”

Lyle scoffed. “I’m in pain, Alex, I’m not handicapped.”

“Handi-capable,” he corrected her.

Lyle shook her head but didn’t hide her smile.

“I’ll be back in a minute while you get dressed, okay?”

Lyle nodded.

Alex walked out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind him, and he made his way towards the front desk. He smiled at the woman and rested his forearms on the desk. “Hi, I’m here to pay the bill in regards to Ms. King,” he told her politely.

The girl pulled up the file and glanced up at him. “It’ll be eleven hundred and twenty six dollars even,” she told him.

Alex didn’t flinch as he pulled his wallet out of his pocket and handed her his debit card and his ID. He knew Lyle would be mad, but. Well, he didn’t really care. If it was one less thing for her to worry about, that’s all that mattered to him.

“Here you go, sir,” the woman said, sliding his card and ID back over to him. “I’ll just need one signature on here, please.”

Alex did as requested, handing her back the slip and shoving his ID and card back into his wallet. “Thank you, ma’am.”

“Have a nice day, sir.”

With a nod, Alex walked back towards the room and knocked softly on the door. When he heard Lyle say come in, he did so. He wasn’t sure if he was surprised to see her looking just as she had before or worried. He didn’t exactly have experience in those situations. “Hey.”

Lyle smiled. “Ready to go?”

Alex nodded. “We’ll stop and fill your prescriptions somewhere first.”

“I can do that tomorrow.”

“Or I can do it for you while you’re resting,” he told her.

Lyle shoved her hands into her pockets. “You don’t have to take care of me, Alex.”

“Yes, I do,” he said softly, pressing his lips against her forehead. “Let’s go.”