‹ Prequel: Kiss My Ass
I Want It All
the great escape.
1. A bus schedule.
2. The front page of a local newspaper.
3. A change of address card from the post office.
4. Anything with the colors of your local sports team.
5. A library card.
6. A new state quarter.
7. Black socks.
8. Roman numerals.
9. A tree.
10. A ruler.
11. M&Ms.
12. Pink nail polish.
13. Ankle bracelet.
14. Charge slip over $50.
15. A hula hoop.
16. A take-out menu from a Chinese restaurant.
17. A picture of you holding a stranger’s pet.
18. A picture of you hugging a stranger.
19. A picture of a Harley-Davidson motorcycle.
20. The male of your team trying on a dress.
“What the heck is this?” Lyle asked, looking at the list.
Alex scanned over the list quickly. “I suggest we do the hardest, stupidest things on the list first, and then go for the easy stuff. Agreed?”
Lyle paused. “We’re actually doing this?”
“Yeah! I wanna win,” Alex declared. “Let’s go find a stranger with a pet that I can hug.”
“Who said that’s your task?”
“Who wouldn’t want to hug me?”
Lyle paused.
“I mean, I’m Alex Gaskarth. I’m the undeniably sexy singer in the amazing band All Time Low. Who would say no to this?”
She shook her head and grabbed his hand, walking out of the hotel after the other teams.
Rian and Cass ran off in one direction and Alex and Lyle headed off in the other.
“Hey! I see a dog!” Lyle shouted before picking up her pace and causing Alex to do the same. “Excuse me, ma’am?! Ma’am?!” Lyle yelled chasing after her and causing Alex to almost trip over his feet.
”Ma’am?” Alex asked, reaching out and tapping the older woman on her shoulder.
“Yes?” she asked, confused.
Alex smiled. “Hi, my fiancée and I are on a scavenger hunt with the other couples in our wedding party,” he told her with a small shrug. “And we’re really determined to win. Is there any way I could get a picture with your dog and then you?”
The woman smiled. “Of course, son.”
Alex handed his phone to Lyle, posing for a picture with the mini-Schnauzer and then throwing up the peace sign to pose with the older woman. He thanked her before grabbing Lyle’s hand and walking down the road.
“What was that story?” Lyle asked.
“Me being a winner,” Alex muttered, scrolling through the pictures. “Oh, score! She had on pink nail polish! We can mark three off the list now,” he said before dusting off his shoulder.
Lyle paused. “What was that story?”
Alex shrugged. “I thought she would be more willing if I assured her that I was harmless.”
“Because guys who are engaged can’t hurt anyone?”
He rolled his eyes. “Just go with it, Lyle. Now, c’mon, we gotta get crackin. Jack just texted me and said they’ve crossed off five things. I’m not letting that bastard win.”
+
“I’m not going into Macys,” Alex protested, crossing his arms over his chest.
Lyle scoffed. “Are you serious?”
“You’re going to make me try on a dress. I’m not trying on a dress. That’s ridiculous,” he told her.
Lyle grabbed his shoulder. “I thought you wanted to win?”
Alex let out a sigh before letting Lyle drag him through the doors of Macys. She led him towards the woman’s section and pulled out a black and purple dress.
“Two birds, one stone?”
Alex furrowed his eyebrows. “What?”
“The color of our Ravens, Alex, you idiot,” she told him.
“Oh!”
Lyle took Alex’s phone from him while he retreated into the dressing room. She was surprised five minutes later when he walked back out, the black and dress unable to zip all the way and looking supremely awkward over his tan leotard and tights. “Oh…my…God.”
Alex frowned, glancing down at his outfit. “I look like a fucking retard.”
Lyle bit back a laugh. “You look gorgeous,” she told him quietly, snapping a picture of him on his phone.
“Do I?” Alex asked before striking a pose and leaning against the frame of the dressing room door.
She busted out laughing before taking another photo. “Get out of that dress.”
“Why, Miss King, you are so forward,” he told her with a wink before going back into the dressing room to change.
Lyle shook her head. That was her best friend. She sometimes didn’t know why. Maybe it was because he stuck by her side no matter what. Yeah, or maybe it was because he could inform her that she was being an idiot while still supporting any decision she made. Or, well, beyond those two, it might’ve had something to do with the fact that he was the only one in the world who had the ability to make her laugh hysterically even when she was determined to be in a bad mood.
Alex exited the dressing room, tossing the dress on the closest rack even though he knew it wasn’t the right place for it, and fixed his hair. “So glad to be out of that ridiculous outfit.”
“You’ve never sounded more like a chick than you do right now,” Lyle told him.
“I’ve been working on it,” he assured her. “Glad to know it’s paying off.”
Lyle smiled.
Alex reached out for his phone, scrolling through the pictures. “That dress makes my ass look huge.”
She burst out laughing, unable to control herself. Okay, she was having fun—a lot of fun for the first time in a while. She wrapped her arms around her best friend’s waist, laughing against his chest. She felt Alex press his lips against her hair and her smile widened. There was something about that moment that just felt right.
+
Alex folded up the Chinese take out menu and shoved it in the pocket of Lyle’s jacket. Sure, he already had a picture with it but he wanted some proof just in case. He linked his arm with Lyle’s as they started walking down the road. “How many have we crossed off?”
Lyle glanced down at the list. “Let’s see, we have you in a dress, colors of our team, pet, hugging a stranger, pink nail polish, charge slip over fifty bucks, front page of the paper, Roman numerals, black socks, and an ankle bracelet,” she read off, crossing things off the list as Alex scrolled through his phone.
“Okay, so we have ten left—“
“Nine! We got the menu, sorry,” Lyle corrected herself.
“We gotta find a library card,” he muttered, glancing at people sitting outside some local café. “Oh, let’s try here!”
“Why?” Lyle asked.
“Everyone knows people who drink coffee like to read, Lyle,” Alex said simply. “Don’t you know anything?”
Lyle rolled her eyes even though she was smiling on the inside (okay, and a little bit on the outside).
Alex opened the door and cleared his throat. “Does anyone here have a library card in their wallet?!” he yelled out.
Lyle shook her head, looking down. Yeah, did she really expect Alex to be subtle at all?
One of the girls sitting near the window rolled her eyes. “No,” she snapped.
Alex frowned. “Dammit, don’t any of you people read anymore?” he muttered, grabbing Lyle’s hand and storming out of the café.
“We’ll find more, we still have about forty-five minutes,” she assured him.
“But we still have nine more things,” he pouted. “We’re going to lose, and Jack is going to win, and he’s gonna rub it in my face.”
Lyle stopped walking to hug her best friend in the middle of the sidewalk. “We’ll win, okay?”
Alex nodded.
“Is that…?” Lyle asked, pulling away. “Come with me!” She grabbed his hand and pulled him across the street where a bus was pulling away from the sidewalk. She stopped in front of a sign with a smile on her face; a bus schedule was posted right in front of them.
Alex pulled out his phone and snapped a picture of Lyle posing in front of the sign. “Eight to go.”
Lyle crossed the first thing off of their list. “Can we find a Harley-Davidson now?”
“Can’t we just get a picture of that motorcycle and tell them it’s a Harley?” Alex asked, pointing to a Ducati across the street.
“No. No way,” Lyle told him while shaking her head. “Anyone who knows anything about motorcycles will flog you for trying to say a Ducati is close to a Harley.”
Alex paused. “There’s a difference?”
Lyle sighed and started walking down the sidewalk. “Of course there’s a difference,” she told him. “Harley’s are just supremely better.”
“Is that a fact?”
“It’s in the Bible,” she answered with a nod.
Alex smiled, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. Part of him didn’t even care that they were doing a scavenger hunt. It was all about the fact that he was spending time with Lyle. It felt as if things were almost back to normal. For the first time he didn’t feel the pressure of the high school incident or the procedure. It was just them—Alex and Lyle. And it felt good.
2. The front page of a local newspaper.
3. A change of address card from the post office.
4. Anything with the colors of your local sports team.
5. A library card.
6. A new state quarter.
7. Black socks.
8. Roman numerals.
9. A tree.
10. A ruler.
11. M&Ms.
12. Pink nail polish.
13. Ankle bracelet.
14. Charge slip over $50.
15. A hula hoop.
16. A take-out menu from a Chinese restaurant.
17. A picture of you holding a stranger’s pet.
18. A picture of you hugging a stranger.
19. A picture of a Harley-Davidson motorcycle.
20. The male of your team trying on a dress.
“What the heck is this?” Lyle asked, looking at the list.
Alex scanned over the list quickly. “I suggest we do the hardest, stupidest things on the list first, and then go for the easy stuff. Agreed?”
Lyle paused. “We’re actually doing this?”
“Yeah! I wanna win,” Alex declared. “Let’s go find a stranger with a pet that I can hug.”
“Who said that’s your task?”
“Who wouldn’t want to hug me?”
Lyle paused.
“I mean, I’m Alex Gaskarth. I’m the undeniably sexy singer in the amazing band All Time Low. Who would say no to this?”
She shook her head and grabbed his hand, walking out of the hotel after the other teams.
Rian and Cass ran off in one direction and Alex and Lyle headed off in the other.
“Hey! I see a dog!” Lyle shouted before picking up her pace and causing Alex to do the same. “Excuse me, ma’am?! Ma’am?!” Lyle yelled chasing after her and causing Alex to almost trip over his feet.
”Ma’am?” Alex asked, reaching out and tapping the older woman on her shoulder.
“Yes?” she asked, confused.
Alex smiled. “Hi, my fiancée and I are on a scavenger hunt with the other couples in our wedding party,” he told her with a small shrug. “And we’re really determined to win. Is there any way I could get a picture with your dog and then you?”
The woman smiled. “Of course, son.”
Alex handed his phone to Lyle, posing for a picture with the mini-Schnauzer and then throwing up the peace sign to pose with the older woman. He thanked her before grabbing Lyle’s hand and walking down the road.
“What was that story?” Lyle asked.
“Me being a winner,” Alex muttered, scrolling through the pictures. “Oh, score! She had on pink nail polish! We can mark three off the list now,” he said before dusting off his shoulder.
Lyle paused. “What was that story?”
Alex shrugged. “I thought she would be more willing if I assured her that I was harmless.”
“Because guys who are engaged can’t hurt anyone?”
He rolled his eyes. “Just go with it, Lyle. Now, c’mon, we gotta get crackin. Jack just texted me and said they’ve crossed off five things. I’m not letting that bastard win.”
+
“I’m not going into Macys,” Alex protested, crossing his arms over his chest.
Lyle scoffed. “Are you serious?”
“You’re going to make me try on a dress. I’m not trying on a dress. That’s ridiculous,” he told her.
Lyle grabbed his shoulder. “I thought you wanted to win?”
Alex let out a sigh before letting Lyle drag him through the doors of Macys. She led him towards the woman’s section and pulled out a black and purple dress.
“Two birds, one stone?”
Alex furrowed his eyebrows. “What?”
“The color of our Ravens, Alex, you idiot,” she told him.
“Oh!”
Lyle took Alex’s phone from him while he retreated into the dressing room. She was surprised five minutes later when he walked back out, the black and dress unable to zip all the way and looking supremely awkward over his tan leotard and tights. “Oh…my…God.”
Alex frowned, glancing down at his outfit. “I look like a fucking retard.”
Lyle bit back a laugh. “You look gorgeous,” she told him quietly, snapping a picture of him on his phone.
“Do I?” Alex asked before striking a pose and leaning against the frame of the dressing room door.
She busted out laughing before taking another photo. “Get out of that dress.”
“Why, Miss King, you are so forward,” he told her with a wink before going back into the dressing room to change.
Lyle shook her head. That was her best friend. She sometimes didn’t know why. Maybe it was because he stuck by her side no matter what. Yeah, or maybe it was because he could inform her that she was being an idiot while still supporting any decision she made. Or, well, beyond those two, it might’ve had something to do with the fact that he was the only one in the world who had the ability to make her laugh hysterically even when she was determined to be in a bad mood.
Alex exited the dressing room, tossing the dress on the closest rack even though he knew it wasn’t the right place for it, and fixed his hair. “So glad to be out of that ridiculous outfit.”
“You’ve never sounded more like a chick than you do right now,” Lyle told him.
“I’ve been working on it,” he assured her. “Glad to know it’s paying off.”
Lyle smiled.
Alex reached out for his phone, scrolling through the pictures. “That dress makes my ass look huge.”
She burst out laughing, unable to control herself. Okay, she was having fun—a lot of fun for the first time in a while. She wrapped her arms around her best friend’s waist, laughing against his chest. She felt Alex press his lips against her hair and her smile widened. There was something about that moment that just felt right.
+
Alex folded up the Chinese take out menu and shoved it in the pocket of Lyle’s jacket. Sure, he already had a picture with it but he wanted some proof just in case. He linked his arm with Lyle’s as they started walking down the road. “How many have we crossed off?”
Lyle glanced down at the list. “Let’s see, we have you in a dress, colors of our team, pet, hugging a stranger, pink nail polish, charge slip over fifty bucks, front page of the paper, Roman numerals, black socks, and an ankle bracelet,” she read off, crossing things off the list as Alex scrolled through his phone.
“Okay, so we have ten left—“
“Nine! We got the menu, sorry,” Lyle corrected herself.
“We gotta find a library card,” he muttered, glancing at people sitting outside some local café. “Oh, let’s try here!”
“Why?” Lyle asked.
“Everyone knows people who drink coffee like to read, Lyle,” Alex said simply. “Don’t you know anything?”
Lyle rolled her eyes even though she was smiling on the inside (okay, and a little bit on the outside).
Alex opened the door and cleared his throat. “Does anyone here have a library card in their wallet?!” he yelled out.
Lyle shook her head, looking down. Yeah, did she really expect Alex to be subtle at all?
One of the girls sitting near the window rolled her eyes. “No,” she snapped.
Alex frowned. “Dammit, don’t any of you people read anymore?” he muttered, grabbing Lyle’s hand and storming out of the café.
“We’ll find more, we still have about forty-five minutes,” she assured him.
“But we still have nine more things,” he pouted. “We’re going to lose, and Jack is going to win, and he’s gonna rub it in my face.”
Lyle stopped walking to hug her best friend in the middle of the sidewalk. “We’ll win, okay?”
Alex nodded.
“Is that…?” Lyle asked, pulling away. “Come with me!” She grabbed his hand and pulled him across the street where a bus was pulling away from the sidewalk. She stopped in front of a sign with a smile on her face; a bus schedule was posted right in front of them.
Alex pulled out his phone and snapped a picture of Lyle posing in front of the sign. “Eight to go.”
Lyle crossed the first thing off of their list. “Can we find a Harley-Davidson now?”
“Can’t we just get a picture of that motorcycle and tell them it’s a Harley?” Alex asked, pointing to a Ducati across the street.
“No. No way,” Lyle told him while shaking her head. “Anyone who knows anything about motorcycles will flog you for trying to say a Ducati is close to a Harley.”
Alex paused. “There’s a difference?”
Lyle sighed and started walking down the sidewalk. “Of course there’s a difference,” she told him. “Harley’s are just supremely better.”
“Is that a fact?”
“It’s in the Bible,” she answered with a nod.
Alex smiled, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. Part of him didn’t even care that they were doing a scavenger hunt. It was all about the fact that he was spending time with Lyle. It felt as if things were almost back to normal. For the first time he didn’t feel the pressure of the high school incident or the procedure. It was just them—Alex and Lyle. And it felt good.