The Ugly Truth

When I returned with another volunteer and lots more water, John smiled at me and handed me my name tag. His writing was a little crooked and uneven, but I couldn’t help but think it was kind of cute.

As I got some water for the girl standing in line, I thought I spotted Riley walking away, with his back to me.

“Hey, did that guy come by, by any chance?” I asked John.

“Yeah… he did. He said he knew you.”

“But how did he know I was volunteering at this booth?”

“I was writing out your name tag and he asked if, by any chance, you were Lindsay Hudson. And then he said some other stuff about you.”

“Other stuff? Like what?”

He had been talking about me to a random stranger? Did he like me that much?

“Well… just stuff.”

“But what stuff?” I pushed.

Why didn’t he want to tell me what he said? I was ready to attack him if he didn’t spit it out.

“They, um, weren’t exactly… nice.”

“What?” I asked, shocked.

“I’m sorry to break it to you. I really am.”

Why was he talking bad about me? Weren’t we practically life long friends?

“What did he say?”

“I don’t really want you to hear them.”

“I’m not a little girl. Please, tell me what he said.”

John looked me in the eyes a second and then sighed.

“Fine, he said you were a klutz and that you could get really clingy. There, I said it and I’m sorry.”

“Clingy?”

“Yeah, he said you always wanted to hang out and I shouldn’t make you think we were anything more than friends, because it would only make it worse.”

“Oh.”

I was on the verge of tears. I couldn’t believe Riley thought that about me. Why had I been so stupid as to think he liked me? He didn’t even want me as a friend.

“Are you going to be okay?” John asked, rubbing my arm.

I didn’t answer. It was just such an overwhelming moment, I couldn’t do anything except hate myself for being so foolish. Why would he ever even look twice at a girl like me?

“Hey, after we get done here, we can talk if you want,” he offered.

I didn’t want to talk to him. I just wanted to go home and cry in my bed the rest of the day.

“Sure,” I replied, not wanting to hurt his feelings.

I finished up my shift mechanically. When anyone remarked something rude or complained about how much water I had given them, I simply obeyed. I didn’t feel like arguing.

“Hey, the band’s starting their concert, do you want to go watch it?” John asked as we tidied up before leaving.

Oh, no. The concert.

“Yeah, I really want to go,” I said, in the most convincing tone I could muster.

As we walked to the concert area, John grabbed my hand in his.

“I’m really glad I met you,” he said, squeezing my hand.

I just smiled. I wasn’t in the mood for a romantic guy. The only person I wanted telling me sweet things was Riley, and he obviously wasn’t him.

We joined the crowd gathered around the band, that was playing a catchy indie song. The band members were all pretty good looking, with longish hair and cute indie clothes. As he sang, I looked in the singer’s eyes attentively, waiting for the moment when he would ask for a girl to go onstage. I must have been staring at him a lot, because at one point he smiled my way. And, even though I was an emotional mess, I was flattered. There’s just something about a guy who knows how to sing and play an instrument.

The moment arrived too soon.

“Hey, so for this next song we need one of the girls from the crowd to come onstage. So, who’s it going to be?” the singer announced, receiving cheers as soon as he was finished.

All of a sudden, I noticed just how many girls there were in the crowd, eagerly cheering and calling attention to themselves to get chosen. I tried raising my hands and jumping up, but I was drowned out and covered by all the other girls.

“You really want to be chosen, huh?” John asked, a little bewildered after seeing me struggling so much.

“I’m just a huge fan…”

Which didn’t make any sense, since he had been the one to suggest going to see them, but, luckily, he didn’t notice.

“Here,” he said, getting down on his knees, “Climb onto my shoulders.”

“No, you don’t have to-”

“Lindsay, just get on. I promise I won‘t let you fall,” he said, smiling.

I nodded and approached him. It wasn’t the fear of falling that was holding me back. I was scared he wouldn’t be able to carry me. I knew it wasn’t logical, since I didn’t weigh that much and he looked to have some sort of strength, but sometimes I felt like I weighed as much as I did before, and I was frankly scared of crushing his shoulders.

“Lindsay?”

“Sorry, I was tying my shoe.”

Well, I was rapidly becoming an expert liar.

I climbed onto his shoulders, and he stood up. It was oddly amusing to see the world from a higher view.

Luckily, the singer still hadn’t chosen anyone, so I began waving my arms in the air and yelling, as did John.

“Well, I’ve got to choose the girl in the back, on that guy’s shoulders, cause she seems to really want to come up on stage with us.”

YES. I had been chosen!

As soon as I was on the stage, they showed me to a stool in the center of the stage, where I was supposed to sit while they played the song. I waved at John while they began playing the first notes.

It started with a sad melody that instantly wiped the smile from my face. As the song continued, I recognized The Fray’s Look After You . And suddenly, I remembered that Riley hated me. That I disgusted him.

The singer turned, smiling, to sing the chorus to me, but I could only produce a half smile. People in the crowd started holding up their cell phones like in those typical concert scenes. Sure, they weren’t a stadium but there was enough of them for it look amazing. As the sun slowly set, and the sky was different shades of orange and purple, I just breathed out.

Forgive the urgency, but hurry up and wait. My heart has started to separate.