Second Heartbeat

“Come on, let’s get you dressed properly, we’ve got band practice.”
“Matt, I don’t wanna see him.”
“I’m not leaving you here alone. Not when you’re in this state of mind.”

I sighed, knowing that he wasn’t going to give up without a fight and I didn’t have the energy.

I quickly pulled on a pair of skinnies, a Slipknot T-shirt and a pair of Chucks. The whole ensemble was black it reflected my mood perfectly.

“Haley, we’re leaving, come on.”
“Okay.”

I grabbed my phone and iPod, leaving the house with Matt, Zacky, Jimmy and Johnny were already in the car. As soon as they saw me their faces fell. I’m sure Matt told them what had happened but to see me like this was something different… they’d never seen me this upset before.

I climbed into the backseat with Jimmy and Johnny, Jimmy put an arm around my shoulders while I leant my head against his chest, giving me some comfort.

“I’m sorry prawn.”
“It’s okay Jimmy… I should’ve seen this coming, I mean come on… this is SYN we’re talking about.”

As we drove, we listened to some rock station Matt had his car tuned into. About halfway there it changed to a song by Hinder called Better Than Me. I broke down as I listened to the lyrics. I may have only known Brian for six months but by God… that boy already had my heart and soul, without him in my life I was like a zombie.

“I’m gonna fucking kill him.” Matt growled under his breath as we pulled up to our friend Justin’s house.

We all went in apart from Johnny who walked home, leaving us. I really looked at Matt for the first time today and saw just how angry he really was.

“Matt.”
“Yeah?”

His expression softened as soon as he looked at me.

“Please… just… DON’T physically hurt him.”
“Can’t promise that sis’.”
“Well then promise me you won’t do it in front of me.”
“Okay, I can do that.”
“Thanks bro.”

I gave him a quick side-hug and then retreated back to Jimmy’s side. Matt knocked and soon Justin answered. I could see Syn sitting in the living room, already strumming on his guitar.

“Hey guys. Oh, Haley, didn’t know you were coming today.”
“Neither did I.”
“Justin, move.”

Matt pushed past Justin and into his house, storming into the living room with the face of a madman.

“HOW COULD YOU?”
“What’s going on guys?”

Zacky took one look at my expression before telling Justin that he’d explain later. We all went into the living room where Justin’s parents had now entered.

“Matthew, are you okay?” his Mom, Julie, asked.
“No… I’m not. Haley’s even worse. HOW FUCKING COULD YOU SYN?”

Syn remained silent, just stared up at Matt, his own eyes full to the brim. He looked over at me as the tears started to fall and he shook his head, mouthing ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry’ at me. I averted my gaze an instead stared over towards Justin’s stairs.

“I GAVE YOU A CHANCE SYN! I TRUSTED YOU NOT TO BREAK HER BUT OBVIOUSLY YOU DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THAT!”
“Matt… I…”
“NO! I DON’T WANNA HEAR YOUR EXCUSES SYN! YOU ARE DONE! YOU’RE OUT OF AVENGED SEVENFOLD!”

My head snapped up at those words… I wsan’t expecting THAT from Matt. I guess I have to hand it to Syn though. He didn’t try and protest, he just nodded and stood up, leaving the room, looking at me one last time, pain and regret clear in his features.

He reached up to stroke my cheek but I smacked his hand away.

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered, almost to himself.
“Go to fucking hell Syn.”

He flinched visibly and I almost felt bad… ALMOST. Then he left without another word, just the sound of him sobbing as he walked down the road.

Oh shit… what’ve I done?