I Don't Think I'd Be Standing Here If I Never Found You

I haven’t seen or spoken to Tanner since that wondrous night that I found out he had a daughter. It’s just… why would he not tell me about it? That’s something so huge that you really should get out in the beginning of our relationship. After we’ve been serious for a year, I have to find out about it. It’s just not flying with me.

I’ve made visits to my parents. Eventually, I told them what was going on. They were shocked; maybe not like I was, but… still shocked. But I honestly don’t know how they feel about Tanner now. They assured me that something soon was going to make me a little happier.

So far… I’m not happy at all.

My racecar doesn’t even bring me joy anymore. It only makes me think of Tanner. We met through racing. We spend race days talking smack on each other. Then, no matter the outcome, we always get extra flirty after the race is done.

I was at my parents’ house today, putting off a Rockstar meeting. I figured Tanner would be there. I called and told them I had a family emergency. It worked. But I think I have a personal emergency instead of a family one.

“Ky, just because he has a child doesn’t make him a bad person,” my mom spoke up as I was lying on the couch, staring up at the ceiling.

“He has a five year old and he couldn’t tell me,” I muttered.

She let out a soft sigh, telling me that she was giving up. I just… don’t really know how I feel about this. I love Tanner. That hasn’t changed. And I honestly think him having a daughter is the cutest thing ever. But… he kept it from me… for so long. I’ve told him my secrets that no one knows. Why did he feel so uncomfortable about sharing that with me?

I let it go. I’m just worrying myself. The ceiling wasn’t giving me too many answers anyway. While I was still lying here, I heard the door at the back of the house open and close quickly. Mom probably left. But just as I had accepted that thought, I heard someone’s voice. And that someone’s voice sounded like… no.

Quickly, I shot up from my spot on the couch and hurried to the kitchen. Once I saw who walked through the door, I nearly fainted. Standing there, hugging my mother tightly, was… Kirstie!

“What are you doing here?” I squealed once her eyes laid on mine.

“SURPRISE!” she beamed rushing over to pull me in for a big hug.

“What do you mean surprise? Why are you here?” I kept going, smiling so much.

“Well, nice to see you too,” she giggled.

“Sorry! It’s just been… a stressful last couple of days,” I shook it off.

“Well, get happy! McFly’s doing a US tour!” she smiled.

“Nu uh,” I couldn’t believe it.

“Yeah, isn’t it awesome!” she smiled so much more brighter than before.

“That’s amazing. I’m so coming to a few shows,” I grinned.

She smiled once again, causing us to share more hugs. After dad came home, Kirstie gave him her greeting. It was amazing. The whole family’s back together! In one place!

Of course mom wanted to make a huge feast since everyone was home. Kirstie said she’d invite Harry too. I felt obligated to say I was inviting Tanner, but… I can’t lie to my family. But of course that didn’t stop Kirstie from asking where he was once everyone sat down.

“He’s… busy,” I told her.

“With what? He always seemed to make time for you,” she kept going.

“He just said that he… couldn’t make it,” I shrugged.

I wasn’t looking up at her, but I could feel that she was still staring back at me. Thankfully, this ended the ‘where is Tanner’ conversation. Our parents seemed to like Harry. They questioned a few of the English slang words he used. But once they found out it was innocent, they lightened up.

It’s such a total shock that Kirstie’s here. I’m so glad she is though… with Harry. Just seeing those two together makes me smile. Makes me miss Tanner a whole lot too. Kirstie seems so happy though. I can’t bring her down with my boy problems.