Love. Plain and Simple... or Not?

After school I didn't have sports. We never had practice on Fridays in the fall, so I got home around 3:15. I packed a bag with everything I could need for the rest of the day and went to go sit in the park under the tree, and hang out with Danny and our friends, not including his girlfriend for a change. She normally hung out when we were together, but she couldn't this week because she had to go to a dinner for her mom's birthday.

She really was a sweet girl, but I couldn't get myself to really like her. I told Danny everything; how I felt, what I've done, everything. He understood me. He felt my emotions as strongly as I did. He was my best friend. I didn't deserve him.

And I like him as more than a friend. We hung out together almost every weekend, and we were closer than siblings, not that I would know since I didnt have any. That was theone secret that I kept from him, and the one secret I thought I could hold inside me forever.

This particular day we decided to take a walk to the corner store to by food. While waiting in line we just hugged for a long time. He started to let go but I just pulled myself closer, burying my head into his chest. His arms wrapped around me again, making me feel protected. I didn't want to leave him. I wanted to freeze time where it was. I loved moments like this that I had with him.

Before I knew what I was doing, I went onto my tiptoes and gently kissed his lips. His arms dropped from around me like stones and he just starred at me, not saying anything. It took a moment for me to realize what I'd just done. It felt like a dream, but the look on his face told me otherwise.

"I.... I'm.... I'm sorry!" I studdered out after a moment.

Next thing I knew I found myself running out the door, completely embarressed. I couldn't believe I just did that. I had promised to myself that he would never find out how I felt about him. I didn't make it very far before the tears rolling out of my eyes blocked my vision and I sat down on the corner.

I looked around me and saw a stick on the ground in front of me. I picked it up and flipped it over in my hands. It was sharp on one end. I held it to my ankle and almost plunged it into my skin when I felt a hand over mine, stopping me.

I looked up and saw Danny's blue eyes looking down at me, his hand making mine release the stick. I turned the other way. I hated anyone seeing me cry, even if it was my best friend. I also couldn't bear to hear that he didn't want to see me again, didn't want to be my friend. He sat down next to me and we just sat htere, letting the silence wrap around us like a magical mist. After about 15 minutes of sitting there in akward silience I slowly turned around to face him.

"i'm not mad at you," he whispered, his voice quiet and so unlike out usual voices when we were joking around.

"I'm sorry! I shouldn't have. I fucked up everything!" I curled my legs up to my chest and buried my hands in my face.

Danny slowly reached out and grabbed my hands, removing them from my face. "I told you I'm not mad. And you didn't fuck everything up. I still love you sis." Those words almost broke my heart. He didn't realize that I didn't want him to consider me as only his sister.

"I love you too bro," but as I said it I felt a deep sorrow.

In his eyes, that's all I'd ever be. His sister. It hurt my heart to think about.