Fiction

Fiction
“I’m terribly sorry Missy, it is with…great and sincre regret that we must inform you that…your condition was much worse than we thought. It is a terminal illness that it in fact fatal. And I am afraid that we cannot do much more for you Dear.” I cannot describe the thihngs that flooded my mind when the doctor released the news to my family and I, my mother holding my hand, my sister in tears. My brother gazed out the 3rd story hospital window. My father sat next to me, a comforting arm drapped across my shoulders. It was alarming and probably shocking to them that I wasn’t already in tears. But that’s what you get with me. Practically on the verge of dying and yet nothing. Not even the news of my possible death could bring to me to my breaking point.

“Thank you Doc, for letting me know.” I stated still in a trance, nothing really sinking in too much.

“Oh but Missy, there’s one more misfortunate piece of information…Darling, I’m afraid that the truth is that your condition is progressing fast. It’s very deadly. If you don’t take appropriate care of yourself, you may suffer for a short ammount of time. Your heart may fail you in the next few months. I am terribly sorry we could not have caught this in time. We’ll still help however we can Missy. We’ll be praying for you, and God bless.” The doctor told me with a slightly wavering voice.

“Oh…” was all I could manage in response, casting my eyes down . She put a fist up against her mouth and ran out with her eyes closed. Funny how the doc the took the news harder than me.

Once I returned home, the only thing I could think about was the two people I knew needed me the most. Well, really four. My band mates and best friends. But most of all, my cousin and lead singer Jassy and my bassist/ drummer Macy. The three of us were the closest thing in the world. We were inseprable. I don’t think I could have lived a second of my life without them in it. We even started this band based upon our friendships, with two more of our close friends, and our love of music. Not to mention our inspiration Avenged Sevenfold.

-Flashback-
“I love you guys!” I said through fits of laughter laying across Jassy and Macy.

“Love you too Missy.” Macy giggled. We had been discussing how we would meet Avenged Sevenfold. It had been a dream of ours for years now and we were beginning to think it wasn’t going to to happen anytime soon do to parents, money issues and other stuff. Not to mention the simple fact that its hard to find the opportunity. So in order to cope with that realization, we made fun of how it would have happened, only if.

“Dude, if you ever met The Rev, you would have walked over to him, stared up at him, and poked him in the stomach. He’d look down at you and you’d just throw your arms around his waist and hold on for dear life while Jimmy stood there saying ‘What the fuuuuuck?!’” Macy put the scenario of me meeting the most amazing man to walk the earth into perspective. God rest his soul…Jimmy was always my biggest inspiration. But now it seemed evident that I never would get the chance to meet him…

We all busted up laughing and Jassy clutched her torso and began to kick her legs in the air.

“Dude and Jassy would just run up to Zacky, stare at him for a few seconds with her mouth open like the Omg Cat and spontaneously jump in his arms and say ‘Do it!’” Macy made us crack up again. She was always the comedian out of all us.

“Man, you guys are insane out of your effin’ minds but I love you all long time!” Jassy spoke once she wiped tears of laughter out of her eyes. She was the emotional one, even if she was happy sometimes.

“You guys and our band is my world ya’ll. And I’ll kill you twice if you ever forget that!” I warned them with a slight chuckle, only half kidding.

“Agreed. I have no clue what I would do without you guys. If I didn’t have you, I don’t think I would be here.” Macy said on a more serious note.

“Mace, don’t talk like that. We do have each other and that’s all that matters right? Of course it does. Besides, our friendship is strong enough to survive anything. We’ll always be here for one another…right guys?” Jassy questioned us once Macy and I got quiet for a few seconds, and seeing as it was dark in the room since we were supposed to be in bed, she couldn’t quite see our facial expressions.

“Of we will. No matter what happens. I have faith in us. We’ve surivived everything and been through much together, there is no way I could ever see us parting.” I whispered, hearing Jassy grandfather waldling down the hall to use the bathroom.

“I love you guys.” Macy whispered after me and I felt movement on the bed before feeling myself being pulled into a giant three way bear hug.

“I love you guys too.” Jassy mummered to us.

“Love you two you guys. Best Friends foREVer.” I mummered back to them.

“foREVer.” I heard the low whisper of a promise being born at that moment and believed with all of my heart that it would never be broken.
-End Flashback-
But recently that three way tie had bacome weak. You see, Jassy and Macy had had a rough past. They used to fight all of the time, but our love of Avenged had brought them out of that. Now it was unraveling again. I thought our friendship was stronger than that. But now they weren’t even talking to each other and they were both miserable. Macy showed it more openly to me, while Jassy seemed more chill about he situation and willing to wait things out.

-Flashback-
“Wait, so what’s going on?” I asked the both of them over yahoo chat.

“I don’t know. Jassy keeps running away and it’s like she doesn’t even want to resolve anything. And its like built up unresolved conflicts are resurfacing.” Was the response I received from Macy.

“She keeps ticking me off and won’t let anything go. She says I’m running from the problem but really I just don’t want to say anything I’ll regret. I can’t lose her like that Missy…I really can’t.” Was Jassy’s reply. I sighed and sank down in my seat.

“So what now?” I asked the both of them on separate chats.

“Beats me. I wish I knew dude.” Was all I got from Macy.

“Don’t know. I guess we’re gonna take a break from each other until we feel like talking and working things out again. But for now, I guess we’re not talking.” Came the message from Jassy.

“But Missy…I want you to be happy with Jassy. You guys need each other and your closer. I never wanted this to happen and I never meant for it to, but please remember. Never forget okay?” Came another message from Macy. What the hell was she talking about. My heart sped up a million miles per hour and I felt panic jump into my chest and bury its ugly face in my throat.

“Mace…What are you saying?” I typed back to her.

“I don’t want to come between you and Jassy. I’m gonna miss you like hell Missy and I feel broken inside. Pathedic and broken, but I can’t do this anymore Missy. I don’t know what to do.” Was the reply I got.

“Macy, your talking crazy now! And I am not going anywhere, I’m staying right here and you can’t get rid of me that easily.” I typed back to her once more and felt the horrid fangs of hurt sink its teeth into my heart. I felt like I was being broken up with, except not with a boyfriend. The converstation continued and I broke down. The tears that spilled down my cheeks were foreign to me and I was so confused. I didn’t understand what was happening it hurt so much. I can’t describe what it felt like. It felt like I was dying…literally. I had always had a heart conditon, but my chest felt tight and I began to hypervenulate. I became light headed and was on the verge of passing out before I got up to calm myself down in the bathroom. Finally I was able to convince to stay after a long chain of arguing.

“Okay fine, if you want me to stay I will. But I still think it would be best if you and Jassy left me. I’m not good for you guys anymore. But I won’t break my promise. I will stay if you still want me to.”

“Macy, of course I want you to stay with me. I couldn’t bare loosing you and I couldn’t just abandon you like that. We made a promise right? Best friends foREVer.” Was my response. I still didn’t know what to do. I was at a loss of everything at the moment. I was always the peacemaker between the three of us. But it seemed now as if nothing I could say of do would ever help the situation. I felt useless and powerless. I couldn’t fix it this time…
-End Flashback-

I awoke almost a month later, as my symptoms advanced and the illness worked its deathy magic, to my cell phone going off like crazy.

“Hello?” I answered groggily, as my hand wavered, since the sickness had weakened my body frame from the inside out.

“Missy?” Came my cousin Jassy’s voice over the line.

“Hey.” I smiled to myself. It was nice and refreshing to hear her voice again.

“So, are you still coming over today or what?” She asked with excitement. You see, I still hadn’t broken the news to any of my friends yet. I just didn’t know how. I thought that, until I figured it out, that I would just put on my acting skills and paint my face with pounds of makeup in order to disguise my condition.

They knew of my condtion in its much earlier stages. Heck, they were the ones who told me to go see a doctor abou tit since my near fainting spells and so called asthma attacks (though I didn’t have asthma) had begun to kick up into a higher gear. But lets face the facts, my inconvieniant condition was not the worst of our problems. If I spilled the beans, there was no way things were ever going to be worked out. Jassy and Macy still weren’t on speaking terms. I was trying so hard to stay strong and to be the peacemaker, if I still had a chance at it, that it was breaking me physically not just emotionally.

Last week when I went to Dr. Smallz for a progress report, she said that the illness was flourishing. When I asked her what that meant in simpler terms, she told me that it meant that, in a nutshell, it was killing me faster. “Greeeat!” I thought to myself. “Just what I needed to hear!” So apparently the stress caused from the situation was ushering the disease to terminate my heart at a faster rate. Is it weird that I wasn’t worried by the fact that I was dying more than the friendship issues occurring between my two best friends? Or did that make me normal…human? Did it mean that I actually had a heart even though my physical one was failing me? Before my condition appeared, my friends had always joked that I was heartless since I was emotionally a brick wall. Funny how irony appears in our lives in the most unusual and cruel ways, seeing as how that theory was soon to be a literal reality.

“Uhmm…I d-… don’t know. I’m really tired still Jass.” I cleared my throat, trying to shake the wavering from my voice.

“Ooowh! But I haven’t seen you in two weeks Miss. And you’re the only one I ever really get to hang out with anymore. Ever since Macy and I still aren’t talking…you own me this one Miss!” Jassy pouted. “And how can you still be tired woman, it’s almost noon?!” She whined, I coughed.

“Alright, alright. I-... I’ll see you i-… in half an hour.” I told her, kicking off the covers and hanging up the phone after hearing her yell, “Yay! See you then, love you, bye!”

As soon as I stood out of bed, my knees shook and they buckled once I tried to take a step. I was getting weaker, I could feel it in my bones. My heart was pounding, but slowly, and I was so tired. But I had to see Jassy, she was counting on me.

So after getting myself together, weak or not, I entered Jassy’s room after being dropped off by my parents. They were worried and weren’t too keen on letting me go, but they wouldn’t deny me some much needed quality time with my cousin. I was so made up that I barely looked like me anymore. I almost looked like one of those corpeses who have make up caked on to make them look not so dead, (which never works by the way) at a funeral inside the caskets. It reminded me that when everything was said and done, that I would soon be joining that population.

Jassy looked up from her position on her bed and smiled at me.

“Hey sleepy hea-… OH MY GOD MISSY! What the hell is wrong with you?!” She excliamed, practically screeched. Rats! The jig was up! I sighed, defeated and ashamed.

“It’s…I- I’m fine Jassy.” Tears now flooded my eyes and threatened to spill over at any second because I knew it was a lie that I wished was a truth.

“What do you mean? Your fine my ass! You look like death warmed over!” She started to freak out on me, tears beginning to become evident in her eyes.

“Look… it’s a-… a long story.” I stated short winded.

“Jassy?” came a familiar voice. Our attention turned to a very apologetic and sad looking Macy. “I just wanted to apolo-…Holy shit Missy, are you okay?!” Macy cut her apology to Jassy short once she noticed my appearance, which was the last thing I wanted. With dark, bruised looking circles around my eyes, a paste whie complection, and my zombified posture, I didn’t quite look like myself, no matter how much make up I wore.

I walked over to Macy to hug her tightly, forgetting my weakness. Once I wrapped my arms around her, I told her “Mace, I’m so g-…glad you came. I’m so proud that y-… your ch-…choosing to work this out.”

“Huh? Missy?” Macy questioned, confusion laced in her voice. My entire form shook and I felt all of my strength fade away at once. My knees buckled and I collapsed. Macy lurched forward to catch me. I can’t remember if she did or not. I remember Jassy calling out my name in a shooken, paniced voice. Then nothing but black.

I awoke to the sound of sobbs stiffling my ears. My eyes fluttered open with a long struggle and I soaked in the scene of my two best friends by my bedside… in a hospital room, crying and comforting one another. Not the most joyful sight to see, but at least they were getting along for the most part again.

“H-…h-hey.” My voice came out a whisper. I was still so tired. I could barely move my hand to touch Jassy’s cheek. They both gazed up at me and Jassy sprung to her feet and embraced my limp body with a lingering hug as her sobbs became heavier and more exasperated.

“Missy… Johnny Christ, why didn’t you tell us?” Macy asked me, her tone full of regret and sorrow.

“I… I-… uh-… uhhh…” I took a deep breath before trying to speak again.

“Missy?” Jassy’s voice cracked. “I’m…I’m so sorry for everything!” She cryed through tears that pulled at my heart strings.

“I-…It’s okay. I just w-…wanted things…t-to get better. I didn’t want y-…you to get distract-…ed. I rasped through the pain of speaking.

“Missy… you know better. We love you so much!” Jassy cryed, tears streaking her face and staining the hospital blanket that covered me. I held Macy’s hand once I felt her touch it and looked over at her dampened eyes. Seeing my best friends, and now noticing tha tour other two best friends and band mates Krystal and Hazel were there as well, holding back tears, it broke what was left of my heart. But it also mended it. Because now I felt whole again. There we all were, together again finally. The ones I loved and the ones that possibly meant the most to me on God’s green earth besides my family, were finally all okay again. And I knew somehow, that if I were to die at that moment, that everything would be just fine.

“L-… Listen guys. I love you all so…mu-much! Please take ca-care of each other. And… and promise me you’ll never le… let this band f-fall. I-... I hope you fine your o-… own way when I’m not with you.” I practically whispered, feeling the calm fuzziness begin to consume me once again. But this time it was different. This time, I knew I wasn’t going to wake up. “This is it” is all I could think about. And then the blackness engulfed me and it sounded like I was going through a tunnel, or underwater or something. I heard the sound of my loved ones engaging in a paniced frenzy and the heart monitor speeding up to a ridiculous speed and then flat lining.

You see, death is easy. It’s the thought of leaving this world behind in a mess that would be the hard part. Thankfully, I knew things would be alright. All of these thoughts flooded my mind as I parted from my life on earth. At this point I put my trust in my loved ones and family, and most of all my friends, and my faith in God.

“Jimmy says hi…” I whispered clearly to my friends through my physical body that I could feel I was leaving. I knew because James Owen Sullivan, or otherwise know as The Rev, was now waving at me, beckoning my to come join him. But really, I saw no other choice. I couldn’t go back. So I braced myself for whatever was to come and decided to let them go. It appears I would be meeting Jimmy first after all.

I hoped they would keep their promise to always take care of each other. I hoped they would have a beautiful future and a happy life and career with the band. I haped they would fine themselves with no regrets and that I would see them again someday. But most of all, I hoped their friendship was strong enough to survive anything. They were going to need each other now more than ever.

“So tell everybody, the ones that walk beside me yeah, I hope you find your own way when I’m not with you tonight.”