Complicated.

When I opened my eyes it was already dark, my windows were closed but the curtains were pulled to the side giving me the dreamy sight of a star filled night sky with no traces of the rainfall earlier. I remembered what happened today and I quickly turned and made my eyes wander all around my empty room. Guess it was all just a dream then. It surely fooled me.

I slept with a very beautiful dream only to have them crushed when I woke up, that certainly did felt real. Seeing Abe again, being able to touch him and have his warmth around me, having to have him kiss me again, having the feel of his skin against mine, it all felt real. God how I missed him.

A drop of water fell to my hand and that's when I realized that I was crying again. This occur everyday that I barely notice them anymore. For the first time in those two years, I was so happy but this empty room just dug a hole in me again, an emptiness filled with nothing, screaming that I'd be forever alone.

At least I felt happy with the make believe my mind fabricated for me, maybe it was my subconscious's defense mechanism, saving me from breaking down and just pushing the self destruct button, I've managed to pull myself together for a long time, glued myself back whenever I'm torn to pieces that I won't let myself just lose it.

I'm so pathetic with my pathetic excuse of a life.

My bedroom door then opened and brightness flowed, giving light to the darkness within it and within me. He's really here isn't he?

I couldn't help it, I stood up from my wallowing and ran to him making him drop the tray of food he was holding but I don't care for he was really here. He really did kiss me, I was able to taste his lips that I have been longing for so long, he actually held me and I fell asleep in his arms after a long long time of restless nights. He's really here and had apologized to me over and over again.

"You're here. You're really here." I choked as a sob escaped my lips.

"Of course Cai. I'm really here baby and I won't leave you again even if you beg me to."

"Never."

He pulled away and look at me, his intense gaze made a shiver ran down my spine. Abe leaned down and kissed the tears that was still falling freely not wanting to stop anytime soon, but instead of them being tears of sadness and misery like they were a moment ago, they were now happy tears. I could never explain how much happiness I feel right now, having him here with me was enough to take away all the sorrow and pain I had endured.

"Cai, baby, please stop crying." he told me between kisses that he dropped all over my face.

"Now, I need to make you dinner again." I couldn't help but let a small laugh pass my lips but it was cut when he kissed me and I'm more than glad to return the gesture.

He led me to the kitchen and made dinner for the both of us. We ate in silence, for once I wasn't dreading it for this was a companionable one and it wasn't tense like ones I have with our parents. After that he took our plates and put it in the sink.

He then linked our fingers and pulled a little so I'd stand and follow him to the living room. He sat on the couch pulling me with him and ending with me sitting on his lap, he wrapped his arms around me and I melted into him, reveling in his touch and just loving the moment. He kissed my neck and started to talk softly.

"I know that we need to talk and that I have so many explaining to do Caine. I know how much I hurt you when I left and I don't know if you could ever forgive me for that. But I hope you'll let me explain. I know you're mad at me right now, you have every right to hate me bu-"

"No!" I cut him off as I spun around to face him, "I can never hate you Abe, I l-love y-y-you." I stumbled through my words for I was never really vocal on how I felt about him but I try to show it as much as I can and he knew that.

He sighed as he leant his forehead against mine, "You haven't change. You're still the same adorable amazing boy I fell in love with." He smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back at him.

"I love you too Cai. So so much that I know I owe you a lot. I want to tell you everything that's happened to me."

I let out a sigh, for I wasn't really sure if I want to hear all these right now, he felt me tensed up that he gripped me tighter, pressing a soft kiss on my cheek.

"I know. But can we take it one step at a time?" I asked him for I just want to be held by him tonight and to sleep in his arms once again.

"Baby steps?"

"Baby steps."