Complicated.

After almost two hours of just snuggling and reveling on the warmth of each other, I moved from Abe’s lap and slid to the couch spreading my body and laying my head against his leg.

“Where are they anyway? I haven’t seen them since yesterday.” He asked and I was a bit confused at first as to who he was talking about, then I remember, our parents.

“I thought you knew they weren’t here that’s why you came.” I still had no idea where he went all those years ago or what he did so I assumed he was just around so he knew these things.

“No Cai, how would I know? I just got here.” He said in a quiet voice while stroking my hair. It was comforting that it was almost coaxing me to sleep.

“Where did you go Abe?” I asked, I needed to know.

I have to know why he just up and left me, where he went and what he did. Did I even crossed his mind all those times when I had nothing on my mind but him. Was he as miserable as I was for not being together? Or was he thankful that he got rid of a heavy baggage like me? I mean, maybe I did meant something, he did came back after all.

“I went to New York Cai…”

I gasped, that was so far away! I sat up abruptly and looked at him, “What?! How did you even managed to go there? Did you do something illegal?!” Okay, maybe it was wrong to think that, but this is Abe, he’s been through some bad stuff before and I couldn’t help but think of the worst. New York is a scary place for someone who didn’t have anyone or anything, though I know he can fend for himself it’s still distressing.

“What?! No Cai..” he sighed and shook his head, looking hurt that I have accused him of something like that. “You remember the old reporter, Mr. Jenkins whom I helped with getting photos for his articles?”

I just nodded, I remember that man, he’s nice to me and Abe and even let us to his house one time when we had a huge fight with our parents and Abe dragged me out because I was crying fervently.

“You know he always said I had talent and what I have is good stuff. He was hired at one of the papers there and asked me if I’m interested in a job since they were also looking for a photographer. I was not sure at first, I mean I was just seventeen and I couldn’t just leave you but then that night happened…” he trailed off, I know it was hard to remember what happened that night, it was honestly horrible.

I grasped his hands in mine and squeezed it, letting him know that it’s okay, I’m here, we’re still here, we’re together again.

I felt a drop of something wet in my hand and when I looked up I saw tears brimming his wonderful eyes, flowing freely on his face, my Abe was crying.

It’s enough to tug at the corners of my heart and break it all over again. I couldn’t stand seeing him like this, so hurt, pain etched his beautiful face as he was softly sobbing. I never thought he was this broken when he left me.

I pulled him into my arms, his head pressed in the crook of my neck, he was shaking now from the intense sob that’s rocking his body.

I held him tighter until he was sitting in my lap as I gently let my fingers move up and down his back, shushing him and whispering words in hopes to comfort him. It was the first time that I was the one who’s holding him, the one offering comfort while he’s breaking down.

We, are truly our sweetest downfall.