The Will To Burn

"Courtney, where have you been?" my mom asks as I open the door.

"Oh, places! With people." I smiled and set my purse down on the kitchen table.

For the first time in at least two years, she genuinely smiles at me.

"That's wonderful, honey. Just be sure to call me next time so you don't have me worried." She pauses. "What do you say, do you want to go get some ice cream in a few minutes? Just some you and me time?"

Something inside of me is bubbling, and I can't help but to smile. "I'd love that, mom."
This is weird; being civil to my mother and her actually caring about anything involving me.

"Let me just go change into something decent, and I'll be right back."

I sit at the table, looking at the elegantly framed pictures that adorn the Victorian-style kitchen area. My mom has always been a classic vintage enthusiast. When I was young enough to be dressed in frills, she would curl my hair into those typical ringlets and set an enormous bonnet on my head. I would always be equipped with one of those tiny, lace-lined umbrellas in cream and pink shades. Of course, I eventually grew out of that stage, and as I entered my tween years, I wanted nothing but pink hair and bright colored horrendous clothes. The separation between my mom's style of dress and mine certainly played a vast role in our current state of relation. Looking back, though, I'm so glad that my mom insisted to buy me nothing but Ralph Lauren Blue Label and Anthropologie.

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"So, what do you say. Tast-E-Freez or Baskin Robbins? Your choice tonight, darling." My mom cruises her black G-Class around the block slowly through town.

"I'm thinking Tast-E-Freez." My mom turns the car down the road in the familiar direction. "By the way, thanks for treating me tonight, mom."

She smiles warmly at me. I notice that she took her gold necklace off. "I wanted to say that I'm sorry, Court. We haven't had the best experience over the past few years, and it was mostly my fault."

I nod and smile. "Thanks, mom. And I'm sorry for being the awful teenager that I was."

We pull up into the familiar drive-thru/sit-outside ice cream shop and I spot the boy I was with earlier today. John.

"Hold on, mom, I'm going to go say hi to my friend. Be right back. You can order without me."
I walk slowly to the table he's at with an enormous smile on my face.

"John!" I yell when I'm within a few steps from him.

He turns and looks at me and waves. He stands up, and that's when I notice the girl that's sitting next to him.

Part of my heart drops. Why should I care? I don't even know who she is, but for some underlying reason, I've just become insanely jealous of her.

"Courtney, fancy seeing you here," he smiles.

"I know!" I say, hoping that my enthusiasm will cover my thorough disappointment that he's hanging out with a girl.

"How's it going?" he asks, as if he hasn't seen me in the past couple hours already.

"It's going..." I say with a smile as the girl he's with tries to awkwardly look away. "Who's this?" I point at the girl.

His eyes widen. "Oh, uh, Courtney, this is my girlfriend Melissa. Melissa, this is my friend Courtney." She smiles genuinely at me. I realize how gorgeous she is. She's got that long wavy brown hair that I've always wanted, and clear tanned skin. My eyes travel to her slim, toned legs and inside I burn with envy.

"Hey, Melissa, it's awesome to meet you!" My voice seeps with unwarranted kindness.

She smiles and nods back at me from her comfort zone, behind John with her arms draped around his waist. They both look so blissful.

"Oh! John, I have your clothes at home. When do you want me to get them back to you?"
I smirk as I see Melissa's face drop and her eyes wide in confusion. John has a stunned expression on his face, as if he feels like he has something to hide.

"Oh, yeah! Those clothes. Um..." I smile as he stutters. "Just leave them by my doorstep or something. Thanks, Court."

Melissa butts in. "John, can we go? It's getting late. I have classes tomorrow."
John kisses her softly on the forehead and then looks back at me. "See you around, Courtney."

Jealousy tends to get the best of me.