Designer Dreams, Designer Shades

I woke up really early again. The hotel bed was fluffily luxurious, but I still never slept well in it. I didn’t sleep very well here in Joplin at all, I think. This city’s just…getting to me.

I hit a local Starbucks for a chai latte today, but it didn’t taste as good as the one from The Grind. Still, I wasn’t about to risk seeing Drew again. I was in danger of caving when it came to him.

I missed him a lot. I missed Harley, too. Gosh, I wonder what little Harley’s up to now?

It was too early to go to the hospital and see my dad… so I decided to take a look around the town. Just a look couldn’t hurt.

I visited a lot of places that held a lot of memories for me – my elementary, my church, my middle school, my high school, my house and the Ingle household… Our house was so unkempt. It was kind of depressing to see the state of disrepair it was in. The paint was chipping off, there were a bunch of shingles missing from the roof, the grass was, like, a foot tall, the screen door was rusted so badly…And then there was the perfect little Ingle household.

It looked as pristine as ever – that bright little happy looking yellow house on the corner of the street. It was small, but it looked so damn home-ly. Mrs. Ingle was actually watering her miniature rose bushes out front, so I couldn’t drive by slowly to get a better look at the house. I was always jealous of Harley and Drew because of their parents. I know there’s no way to be a perfect parent, but there are a thousand ways to be a good one, and it was like the Ingle parents knew every single one. They were just so loving and caring and I wanted that so badly.

Dad lost what little hair he had left today. It was kind of weird to see him bald. It was weird to see him so still. After the chemo, he looked super tired and paler than ever. He used to be jaundiced, but it was just plain old pale now. I think I hated the paleness more.

I carefully placed my purse on the couch and pulled up a chair to sit closer to him. I could tell he was alive from the heart monitor, but…each descending peak on the LCD took him a little farther away from me. As soon as I thought that, I had this crazy, like, epiphany.

My father was dying.

I sat there watching his thin chest rise and fall with every shallow breath and suddenly burst into tears. It was so bad. It was that ugly silent cry, too. I sat close to his bed, placed my hands on it, rested my face on my hands, and just bawled my eyes out. I can’t remember the last time I cried like this.

I mean, I knew he was dying, but it was different this time. I cared now. This hospital room was too quiet, so I could think too much. I remembered all the happier days, the days back when mom hadn’t started cheating, the days when we were an actual family. I was the only child, and a daughter at that, so you know I was spoiled like crazy. I was a daddy’s girl. I was disgusted by my mother when I found out she cheated. I chose my dad, but the dad that I stayed in Joplin with during my teen years wasn’t the dad that would carry me on his shoulders when I was a toddler too tired to walk anymore.

When I finally stopped, I saw that the bed was now stained with my mascara colored tears except for where my fingers were, so you could see the faint outline of my hand, which reminded me…


Drew and I stayed behind to play a little tennis after practice was over. We never played each other during practice because he was a guy and I was a girl and they separated us by gender. We were tied right now, and it was his serve. Drew was strong because he was a guy, but it was like he could never hit the ball in the right direction. The ball always went where I wanted it to go, but I wasn’t as strong as Drew. I usually tired out before he did…but not today.

Drew leaned to the right, tennis racquet outstretched, but somehow he managed to trip and fall before he could hit the ball back. I couldn’t help but laugh. “Fuck,” Drew whined, flat out laying on the ground and tossing aside his tennis racquet. “I’ll let you win this one, Darce…”

“Let me win? Pshk, you just don’t wanna admit I’m better than you!”

Drew remained silent, just laying on the tennis court. I trotted over to my gym bag for my water bottle and took a swig before going back over to Drew’s side of the court and sitting down beside him, wordlessly offering him my water bottle. He sat up and took it from me. “Watch this, Darce, I’m gonna drink like an athlete,” Drew snickered before opening my water bottle and splashing it onto his face, only about a third of the water actually making it into his mouth and the rest of it splashing onto us.

“What the hell, Drew!” I complained, shaking the excess water off me.

“That’s how athletes drink,” he laughed, wiping his face with his shirt. “You know, like on TV, for energy drink commercials, when they do it, like, slow motion and stuff, you watch the drink go everywhere but their mouth. It’s so stupid. I mean, it’s an energy drink commercial. Drink the fucking energy drink!”

I shook my head indulgently, smiling all the same. Drew’s randomness was one of the cool things about him. I was random, too, but not at the same level as Drew. Drew suddenly frowned and looked up at the graying sky. “Shit…looks like rain,” I sighed, looking up at the sky as well.

“Hey, Darce…I have an idea.”

I swallowed thickly. It wasn’t often that I heard those words from Drew’s mouth, but when I did, I knew something fun, stupid, and possibly dangerous was in store. “What’s your idea?”

He took my hand and laid back down on the tennis court. “Lay down with me, Darcy.”

I reluctantly did as he asked. “Fuckery…Drew, it’s raining. I feel the raindrops on my skin.”

“I know, isn’t it great? Just hold on, it’ll get better.”

We laid out there in the rain for a good half hour. Drew refused to get up, or to let me get up. We only got up once the rain stopped. I sat up when he let go of my hand and lifted up my shirt to dry my face, but that didn’t really help either. My shirt was wet as well. We were both soaked through to our skin. “What the fuck, Drew?” I coughed out, blinking through the rain that remained on my face.

He got up and held out his hand to me. “Look, Darce! Isn’t it awesome?!” Once I took his hand and he pulled me up, he pointed at the court where we were laying. It was dark with water…except for where we were laying. There was a perfectly dry outline of our bodies, like…concrete rain angels.

“That is pretty awesome, Drew,” I conceded, getting my phone from my gym bag to take a picture of it. You could tell which was which. Drew’s was longer than mine. “Oh, man, this is so going on my Tumblr!”

“Alright, we can go home now,” Drew said with a smile, taking my hand again.

He never did that before, but…I didn’t mind holding his hand.