Last Light
Part One; Let Me Explain
I had my first cigarette when I turned twelve with a bunch of older kids behind one of their garages. I had my second one in the park across the street from my second house at the age of fifteen, and from that day on I’ve always been addicted. I’ve tried quitting, thousands of times; I always end up smoking yet another.
Mark Twain had the right idea: “Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.”
In the current state of the economy, I, like many other unfortunate people, have had money problems that I’ve put myself into. There has been days – no months that I’ve had to go to my parents and plea for food, gas money, bill payments, cigarette money, etc. That routine has become very regular over the years, especially from my sudden job jumping, trying to find a good, steady income without a College Education.
There have been nights though, where I have been cigarette-less with my girlfriend (who, as well, is a heavy smoker like me), Rhonda, and we’ve been at each other throats ready to kill each other. We’ve yelled at each other, cursed each others names, and swore things we never mean. In the end, it’s always the same; we get cigarettes, fuck and forgive, and inhale the stick. It’s a sad routine, but it works out until the next debt of cigs.
Lately, it’s been getting more often with the nicotine craze, even though we’ve both landed steady jobs, we just can’t scrape enough aside from paying off bills to buy even one pack. In the long run, though, we would make it work, even if it means putting a bill off for a bit longer. Pathetic, am I right?
This month, it’s been the worst it’s been in the last three years. We’ve ran out of money three weeks in a row, and had to go a couple nights with out the cancer-stick. The fights just get worse, and have led to violence. I have scratches up and down my arms; she has a bruise on her back. The make-up sex was great that night when we finally got cigarettes.
This is probably the most unhealthiest way to deal with it, but so far, it’s how we’ve coped, and we’re still alive, for now.
End of Part One.
Mark Twain had the right idea: “Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.”
In the current state of the economy, I, like many other unfortunate people, have had money problems that I’ve put myself into. There has been days – no months that I’ve had to go to my parents and plea for food, gas money, bill payments, cigarette money, etc. That routine has become very regular over the years, especially from my sudden job jumping, trying to find a good, steady income without a College Education.
There have been nights though, where I have been cigarette-less with my girlfriend (who, as well, is a heavy smoker like me), Rhonda, and we’ve been at each other throats ready to kill each other. We’ve yelled at each other, cursed each others names, and swore things we never mean. In the end, it’s always the same; we get cigarettes, fuck and forgive, and inhale the stick. It’s a sad routine, but it works out until the next debt of cigs.
Lately, it’s been getting more often with the nicotine craze, even though we’ve both landed steady jobs, we just can’t scrape enough aside from paying off bills to buy even one pack. In the long run, though, we would make it work, even if it means putting a bill off for a bit longer. Pathetic, am I right?
This month, it’s been the worst it’s been in the last three years. We’ve ran out of money three weeks in a row, and had to go a couple nights with out the cancer-stick. The fights just get worse, and have led to violence. I have scratches up and down my arms; she has a bruise on her back. The make-up sex was great that night when we finally got cigarettes.
This is probably the most unhealthiest way to deal with it, but so far, it’s how we’ve coped, and we’re still alive, for now.
End of Part One.