Gucci Gucci

With my books cradled in my arms, I watched Rory disappear in with the rest of the school crowd, along with all my trust in him. Trust has always been a complicated thing for me, and always will be. I've trusted him with a secret, and now he is willing to share it. Is this for my own good? Should I let him drop the bomb on Magenta? Or is it my responsibility?

I walk away, and sooner or later, I find myself thinking about this at home. I'm sitting on a couch, with my chin on my fists and my elbows on knees, thinking. I've always thought that I could live life just as a shy little boy. My name would always be unrecognized, and people would always say "There's a Jule at this school?". But, according to Rory, that's not actually "living". That's letting yourself get pushed around, and I'm not sure if that's me. But, isn't being guided around less work for yourself? Less thinking, and more conforming to what your peers think?

Conformity.
Ugh, is it a good thing or a bad thing? And, even if I take a tad liking to it, do I even follow conformity? A thought comes to mind:
"You're gay . Conforming? I think not!".
Who am I?
I'm Magenta's pet, that's what I am! Wait, but I let her do it. But, have I always known she's pushed me around? If I don't let her push me around, Rory will take the job. I'm meant to be pushed around and that's that. I can't make my own decisions, I can't ever think straight. I'm dependent, not independent, and that's me. That's Jule Hart. I think....