Bleeding Tears, Crying Blood

Alma aged seven.

I stared out the window, pressing my small nose against the glass as I stared at the snow. I had never seen so much. It covered the ground and the trees easily and still it fell from the sky. I liked it. It looked so soft and gentle. I wanted to run in it barefoot and feel it beneath my toes. My father however kept me wrapped up in a thick coat, scarf, gloves and hat. All you could see of me was my pale cheeks and large dark eyes that was framed by my thick black hair. I didn't understand why I had to be protected from the white softness. It looked so nice to touch.

The car stopped and father helped me out. He held my hand, which completely engulfed mine, and told me this was the Domain, the house of the Elders. This was a very important place and I was to behave myself. I pressed my lips together and nodded my head then glanced up at the huge stone mansion. It looked wonderful but to others it probably appeared too dark and bleak.

He lead me inside and stood in the main hall when a tall African man came up to greet him. While they spoke, I shuffled closer to my father's legs. Many of the vampires here were either Blue Bloods or very thick Red Bloods. All were strong. All were giving me strange looks. It unnerved me.

The African man, who apparently was the Elder Beriko, patted my head. I looked up and stared at him.

"It is good to meet you, young Alma." He said, flashing his white teeth.

I stiffly nodded, knowing I shouldn't be rude to this particular vampire, then clutched onto my father's leg. Beriko laughed softly then bid my father farewell. I let my eyes linger on his back as he walked away before I was guided towards the large sweeping red carpeted stairs. I followed wordlessly as I was taken down numerous halls until we stopped in front of one of the large oak doors. Father opened it and brought me inside.

Letting my hand go, he set to work in emptying our bags which had been brought up as soon as we arrived. I wondered around the room. It was large. There was a fireplace, a chess board, shelves holding numerous books, wardrobes and a large bed. There was hidden door leading to an on suite bathroom. I had fun wondering around, looking at the gothic statues and art, while my father organised things. The only time I stopped was when there was a knock at the door.

Father opened it to reveal a female vampire. I was confused to see her wearing a maid's uniform. Only humans were servants to the Old World. They spoke for a moment then my father beckoned me forward. I did as I was told and took hold of his large rough hand.

"Alma, this is Livia. She's one of Lady Eva's maids and guards." He explained in his baritone voice. "While I am busy, she will watch over you and make sure you're happy."

Livia curtsied to me. My grip on father's hand tightened. He knew it was because I was nervous, not because I was scared.

"I won't be leaving just yet.” He said comfortingly.

I nodded dumbly and continued to stand there, staring up at the kind looking maid while father stood and went about the room. Livia smiled down at me. She appeared kind enough but that didn’t stop me being wary of her. I had heard only the really strong guarded Lady Eva.

I responded to my father’s summons although I did struggle to take my eyes from the strange maid. I could hear her follow lightly as I ran to my father who was sitting at the chess table. Without so much as a word, I sat opposite him. Chess was something I was currently learning how to play. Either father or my cousin would teach me how. Mother didn’t have any patience for the game.

I sat there contentedly playing with my father, learning as he pointed out mistakes and patted my head with pride every time I lost, claiming I was getting better, until the clock in the room chimed. He glanced up and frowned when he saw the time. I knew he had to leave now.

“I’ll be back in a few hours Alma.” He said as he stood and grabbed his jacket. “Don’t cause any trouble for Livia.”

Then, after giving me a quick pat on the head, he left me alone in the strange room with the strange maid. I narrowed my eyes at the door for a moment before glancing up at Livia. She stood smartly in the centre of the room with her hands clasped gently in front of her. She gave me a small gentle smile. I glared harder.

For a while I remained bored. I tried to read the thick complicated leather bound books but found I didn’t understand it. After that I sat at the chessboard, mindlessly moving the pieces around. Eventually I settled with the window. Snow was falling again and I found myself wanting to go outside.

Slowly I turned and stared at Livia, who was sitting contentedly on the sofa reading. I gave her a long dark meaningful glare until she looked up and saw me. With a light laugh, she stood and came to me.

“What is it, Alma?” She asked.

Not wanting to speak to a complete stranger as mother always taught me, I pointed to the window. She noticed the snow falling and grasped rapidly what I was asking.

“You wish to go outside?”

I nodded firmly once.

“Then we shall.” She said with a bright smile. I watched as she gathered my coat and scarf. “You must put these one first though. You’re young so your body won’t like the cold yet.”

I wanted to argue but then remembered that my father said I wasn’t allowed to cause Livia any trouble. I did as I was told and pulled on my thick navy coat, buttoning it to the top. I pulled on my hat and scarf and let Livia help me with my scarf. Lastly I put my thick boots on then stood, staring up at Livia expectantly.

I was thankful she didn’t take hold of my hand and instead opened the door and guided me out by gently pushing me. Once the door was closed we began a long descent downstairs and deeper into the house. Along the way I tried to count all the doors I went passed. It was impossible and very quickly gave up.

When we reached the large doors that lead to the great gardens outside, my cheeks flushed pink with excitement. I watched with joy as Livia opened the door and stood aside, letting me see the white world beyond the walls. She indicated for me to go ahead of her which I didn’t hesitate in doing.

I dashed outside and nearly fell on my face when my feet instantly became weighted down by the immovable snow. I stared down at my feet and was surprised to find I couldn’t see them. The snow had completely engulfed them. It made my legs cold. I sniffed hard then pulled my right foot out and then my left. I continued to walk in this strange gait until I reached the small wall that surrounded the balcony. I tried to lift myself up but ice had begun to form on my gloves which made grabbing anything difficult. Livia came up silently behind me and hooked her hands under my arms and lifted me up effortlessly. With her hands supporting me, I could stand and look at the sweeping white gardens. I stared in joy. Everything was so white and fluffy. Even little white waifs fell from a white sky. It looked so pretty.

I rubbed my cold nose then indicated I want to get down. Livia complied happily. As soon as my feet were firmly on the sinking floor, I began to trudge down the steps and into the gardens. I hummed tunelessly to myself as I wondered around the white world in joy. I could still see some green of the evergreen bushes but mostly everything else was covered in snow. The fountains and small ponds were completely frozen too. I tried to stand on them but Livia told me not to. I did as I was told.

My wondrous walk was brought to a sudden stop when, as I was going passed a courtyard, I noticed someone sitting alone on the stone bench. I titled my head in interest, noting they were a child with no one else around. I glanced up at Livia who was standing there frowning slightly. She caught my eye and an idea seemed to pop up. Very gently she pushed me forward and indicated for me to go say hello.

“Father told me not to speak to strangers.” I stated.

“Your father won’t mind if you talk to other children.” Livia said softly. “And I will be watching. You’re perfectly safe.”

I frowned in disapproval but I wandered over to the child anyway. He was slumped forward with his back facing me. He looked lonely. I stumbled forward and approached him. He didn’t seem to hear me so I tapped his shoulder. He didn’t jolt from surprise as I half expected. Instead he sat up and turned slowly, as if I had woken him up.

I stared at the boy who in turn stared at me. He didn’t look cold even though he was probably only double my age. His nose and cheeks were light olive instead of red as a sign that they were pinched by the cold like my face was. What interested me the most though was his hair. It was fluffy and light but it was of an odd colour. It was white. So white it melted into the snow surrounding him. As I was young I didn’t understand the meaning of the colour. To me it was just pretty.

I tilted my head and blinked slowly. He did the same. Slowly I raised my hand and waved a little. He copied. Both of us hadn’t spoken in our welcome. I waited for him to do so now. I wasn’t fond of speaking but standing there, waiting for this boy to say a single word was torturing me. I began to fidget with impatience and puff out my cheeks in annoyance. He remained perfectly still however and watched me with silent intrigue and vague confusion. Eventually I broke.

“What is your name?” I asked.

I expected a reply but I just got silence in return. I asked again. Again I was replied with silence. I scowled at his interested and guarded expression. I didn’t understand why he wasn’t speaking to me.

“Why are you here alone?” I asked this time.

I sighed when he didn’t respond yet again. I sat next to him and watched as he got up and sat further down the bench. That was when I smelt it. I smelt emotions for the first time and it was strong from him. He was nervous. Emotions smelt strangely I thought. It smelt of nothing yet you instantly recognised what it was.

I decided that if we were going to talk it was up to me to do it so I set to work on it. I stood up and began to hunt around by the bushes for a stick. The boy just sat there watching me with complete confusion. I swear it was getting worse. Eventually I found what I sought and came pottering back to the boy.

“I am going to draw a picture in the snow.” I said. “You tell me what it is.”

The boy simply stared but I wasn’t deterred. I turned and began to draw. First I drew a horse and looked at him hopefully. He said nothing. I then drew a fish. Again nothing. At first I got frustrated but then I forgot about the game as I began to enjoy drawing in the snow. I drew creatures, trees and weird patterns. I then drew my family.

“This is my mother.” I said as I drew a crude stick figure. I drew several more standing beside it. “This is my father. And these are my cousins.”

I glanced up at the boy. It was then I noticed the nervous scent coming from him had faded. He was looking far less confused too and instead was leaning forward, watching me intently as I drew. I swivelled around and held out the stick.

“Draw me your family.” I asked.

He hesitated only for a moment then stood up. He was tall and lanky for a boy his age but I was surprised by the thin clothes he was wearing. He was definitely an odd vampire child. I just about held the smile back when he knelt in the snow next to me and took the stick from my gloved hand. I watched intently as he drew. His drawings were better than mine.

“My mother. My father. My brother. My sisters.” He whispered softly after he finished drawing six figures.

I stared at him then burst out into a huge grin. He had spoken.

“You can speak.” I said excitedly. He seemed to realise this suddenly and grew red in the face. “Tell me your name?” I asked.

The nervousness returned again. He didn’t want to tell me his name.

“Why don’t you want to tell me?”

He looked at the picture of his family. “When people know who I am they treat me strangely. Either they become cold or want to use me. I don’t like it.”

I frowned a little. While I didn’t quite understand why he didn’t want to give me his name, I understood that he was scared in doing so. I respected that.

“Then I will give you a name I can call you.” I said firmly.

A bewildered expression came over his features as I thought hard for a name. I couldn’t think of a good one for him. I glanced about but there was nothing but white snow. Instantly I looked back at his hair. It was white like the snow.

“White.” The boy blinked as a happy glint took over my eyes. “I’ll call you White.”

White for a moment didn’t react but slowly a small smile took over his mouth. “That would be fine.”

I clapped my hands in joy then took the stick from his hand and stood.

“Now let’s play. Guess what I am drawing while I do it.” I announced as I made my way to an undisturbed part of the courtyard.

White followed wordlessly but he was happier. Much happier. He laughed and spoke openly to me as we drew and played in the snow. I was also acting much more animated than usual. I knew father would be shocked with such a display of emotion and energy. Livia watched over us as we played from the shadows, smiling with warmth and relief. She didn’t come get us until night was beginning to darken the world.

I had enjoyed that day very much and it is a memory I hold dear, even now. That was the first day I had met White, my dearest and oldest friend. The first day I had met the man I loved.