Bleeding Tears, Crying Blood

The water was warm. Very warm. Steam curled in the air in my bathroom and my pale skin glowed. I was on my front with my arms on the side of the bath, my face buried in them. I could feel the water sloshing about as I waved my feet in the air and hair tickled my back a little.

I peeked up at the small toy that I had placed on the table beside the bath. He didn’t twitch. My arms covered my frown but my eyes held the disappointment I felt. White hadn’t woken since I returned to Wolfram. He remained still and lifeless. It annoyed me faintly. I wanted to talk to him, to apologise for running from him and to tell him that Cian was finally going to teach me what he knew.

I hummed quietly to myself, going over the songs my mother used to sing to me. I felt my heart flutter in joy at the knowledge my mother was truly my mother. I had been scared she wasn’t; that I wasn’t the child of such a strong woman that I had grown to respect. But it made me wonder what had happened that turned her, a witch, into a Black Blood. I wondered if my father had done or some other member of the Clan. There were new questions bubbling up about my parents. Questions I was sure they would answer once I returned home.

My thoughts came to a sudden stop though when I felt life fill the room. Instantly my eyes were fixated on White as he inflated and twitched. A sigh escaped him and he looked up, his invisibly eyes briefly flickering over the bathroom and my naked body, then whirled around sharply.

“Why on earth do you keep bringing me in here with you?” He demanded, trying to cover his embarrassment.

I shrugged my shoulders as best as I could. “I wanted to talk to you as soon as possible.”

“Could it not wait until after you have finished bathing?”

“No.” I said bluntly, causing White to fall silent. I hesitated before I continued, breathing in the warm steamy air deeply. “I am sorry, White, for pushing you away.”

His tiny body sagged a little and I felt faint fingers brush my cheek. “There is nothing to apologise for. You went to the one you felt held the most answers, the one who could give you the most comfort.”

His words saddened me a little. I could hear a faint tone of rejection, something that made me want to hug him and comfort him. But what he said was true. Only Cian could comfort me when I found out I was truly a dhampir, someone who was my kin. I was pleased White understood this.

“Did you confront Wolfram?” He asked, quickly changing the subject.

“I did, in a way. He couldn’t answer many questions so he let me speak with my father.”

White’s ears twitched in surprise and he just caught himself as he turned to face me. “Your father? I wouldn’t have thought you wanted to speak with him.”

“I was angry with him but he knew answers that Wolfram didn’t.”

“And did you find out everything you wanted?”

I nodded slowly. “Father said he was trying to protect me by keeping me in the dark. As a child, I may have said something to the wrong person. I think, as I grew, it became difficult for them to actually tell me the whole truth. They decided to tell me when I woke up in the end.”

“And Gabor screwed it up for them.” White grumbled.

My eyes dulled a little at the mention of Gabor. I was worried now that I knew I was potentially a dhampir. I was worried that the reason why he kept trying to get me to be his Bride was so then he could find out for himself and then kill me. Because of this I doubted he would give up in hunting me. I knew my father knew this and suddenly I didn’t feel like questioning why my father refused to call me back home until he was certain I would be safe.

“I fear Gabor.” I whispered quietly, my dark eyes filled with anxiety. “I fear he knows what I am, that he wants to kill me.”

A sudden chill took to the room and the scent winter mixed with the soft fragrances of my bath. The feeling of large hands stroking my hair, touching my face and the sensation of lips by my ear caused my body to abruptly stiffen. Instantly my face flushed brightly and my heart hammered as White’s anger and protectiveness slipped out of the small toy.

“I will not let him harm you.” White’s true force snarled.

“But he got passed father’s defences. Even my mother’s. What’s to say he cannot get passed Wolfram’s?” I managed to force out.

The room grew colder and the feeling of his thumb brushing the back of my neck became increasingly solid. “Even if he does, I will not let him touch you, Alma.”

I couldn’t speak anymore. Embarrassment and nerves captured my voice and closed my throat. Very gradually White calmed himself. The hands that felt my neck and trailed down my back weakened and the room grew warmer once again. Suddenly the bath water felt too warm.

“Did you ask him if your mother was truly your mother?” White asked quietly, his voice stiff. I couldn’t work out whether it was from embarrassment or dwindling anger.

I hesitated a little and not for long. To tell anyone of my mother being a Black Blood witch would only result in her and her creator being hunted until they were both slain. I didn’t want that. But then I remembered it was White. White would never pass this information onto anyone.

“She is.” I said, letting a small smile of relief take over my mouth.

White paused, mulling over my response. “So she’s a witch.”

“Yes.”

“And a vampire. A Black Blood.” He sighed heavily. “Your parents have done very well in keeping this hidden for so long. Normally a Black Blood would be found after a decade or so.”

I nodded in agreement as pride in how long my mother had survived bloomed. “My mother is strong.”

“I know and I would fear her if she went rogue. She would not be easy to hunt or take down.”

“She won’t become a Parasite. She would let herself die before turning.” I said firmly.

White remained shrugged. “Well I won’t say anything, only keep a closer eye on her.” He said. “Do you know who turned her?”

“No. That’s something I will ask father when I get back home.” I said as I slowly stood up in the bath. I pulled at my hair, drawing out most of the water, then stepped out, grabbing the towel waiting for me on the small chair.

“If you ever get back home. You have been here for a month already.” White grumbled darkly.

“I will get home soon.” I said as I scooped him up so I could rub my nose against his head.

White grunted. “Will you be seeing Cian again soon?”

“I will tomorrow evening. He said he will begin teaching me when I next see him so I want as much time with him as possible.”

“Do you think he may speak of his past?”

I frowned and placed him on my bed, watching him as he turned his back on me so I could dress in some privacy. “I do not think so. He will teach me about the dhampir but not about himself. I still need to gain more of his trust.”

“It may take some time, and even then I don’t think he will open up completely. He appears to be the sort to not trust strangers with his past, no matter how kind they are.”

I agreed quietly, pulling on my long nightdress out of habit. I knew the night was the only time I would be awake but it still felt like it was the time I was meant to be sleeping, not the time I would be active.

I brushed my wet hair slowly, sitting beside White and let him clamber onto my lap.

“Will you tell Wolfram?”

“Tell him what?”

“About Cian.”

The brush hovered then I lowered it to my lap as I thought. “No.” I finally said.

White tilted his head up at me, his eyeless eyes observing my face. “No?”

I looked down at him, expression firm. “Cian was locked away and I do not know why. It could be he was a criminal, it could be he was just imprisoned. And, once he’s out, he may be hunted or taken away. I would rather I get all I need from him before someone takes him away or kills him.”

White sighed. “It is a good plan, even if it is a little cold.”

Suddenly my eyes took a softer tone. “I do not want him to be taken away, I am fond of him, but I do not know him completely. He may turn out to be someone else.”

White hummed and scratched his ear. “You are cautious, much like your mother. That’s good.” He said approvingly then stood up. “What are we doing for the rest of the evening then?”

My eyes lit up. “You are staying?”

“I am.”

A warm happy smile spread over my features. “We shall go outside and join Leroy. He is waiting for me.” Abruptly, White’s mood dropped and a sour feeling emitted from him. “He has been worried, just as you have. I would like to see him and the plants as well as you. It would make me feel happier.”

He growled softly in annoyance but he bowed his head all the same. “Then let’s get this over with.”

I smiled, trying not to laugh, as I picked him up and made my way to the door, happy that he wanted to spend some time with me. It made me feel loved, maybe not in the sense that I desired, but it still made me feel content and warm inside. Something I really quite needed after the hidden truths that I had found.