Bleeding Tears, Crying Blood

I was in the crypt, sitting on my knees with White tied to my belt. He had come back brielfy this evening but had had left me shortly afterm partly because Cian had told me he would only teach me if I was alone. My eyes were fixed on the Ancient dhampir opposite me who was breathing slow and heavily with his dark eyes closed. Very slowly, they opened and he gave me a long even look.

“How are you coping?” He asked.

I shrugged lightly. “I am better now. I spoke to my father which made me feel a little calmer.”

“I am pleased to hear. To fret about what you are when you can’t change it is pointless. Best to adapt and survive.” He flexed his fingers, staring at a faint scar that ran across his hand. “I learnt this quickly.” He said and looked up at me sharply. “I will tell you what we are, what we can do and what defines us, Alma. I will then teach you how to use the abilities gifted only to us.” He said in a low tone and with a faint smile on his mouth. “So, tell me what you think we are?”

I frowned. “We are unnatural. A child of a Witch and immortal cannot exist. The Matter would tear the child apart before it could even grow in its mother’s womb.”

His smile grew wider. “But we are natural, Alma. We are of the Clans, a type of vampire. We just have traits of a Witch.”

My frown became firmer as I became slightly confused which he noticed. His smile broadened in amusement, wrinkling his old eyes.

“We have traits of both the Clans and the Families and also traits of our own. We have the strength, speed, body and instincts of the vampires. The ability to use Matter, Witch Items and to survive against the sun and without blood is gifted to us from the Witches. But we also have our own gifts. We can sense all others, the Matter within us is destructive towards the Matter of all Witches and we have complete immortality.”

My lips formed a small O of surprise. “Complete immortality? What do you mean?”

“All the immortals of the Old World can die very easily and have a limited lifespan. The Wolves live only three times as long as a human. Jaguars have nine lives but each one is only for a century and cancelled out if they die from decapitation. The vampires too aren’t truly immortal. While they can choose when they die, they are the most vulnerable. Sunlight will cause them to burn if they stand in it for too long and become rapidly weak if they don’t drink blood often. They also loose the will to live after so long.

A dhampir doesn’t. A dhampir lives on for a very long time. We are very difficult to kill and, while the sun does render you entirely paralysed, it doesn’t kill us. We also don’t need to eat. Period. We don’t need blood and we don’t need food. We may feel hunger but we will not die or become weak. To not die from lack of sustenance, to not grow bored of life and to be resilient to both normal wounds and Matter induced wounds makes us truly immortal.”

“Then how did we die out?” I asked quietly.

Cian’s smile slowly faded. “We have one or two weaknesses. While we are difficult to kill we can die from decapitation and the removal of our heart or Core.”

“Core?”

“It is a small organ just above your heart.” He pointed to an area on his chest. “It is what makes us so vital to the survival of the Clans and why we are so treasured.” He paused. “When I was young anyway.”

Confusion swirled. “I thought the Clans wanted the dhampir dead. They hunted them down, still do. If they were vital they would protect them.”

“A war happened but I won’t be explaining the Core just yet, Alma, or our history. First I want you to grasp the basics of our instinct and abilities. While you learn, I will teach you little by little about our past. For now though that would be too much.”

I was a little disappointed but quietly thankful. All this information was becoming too much for me. Besides, I had plenty of time to learn of the past and what happened to turn the Clans against us.

“You have some grasp of the Matter. You knew it would destroy the Matter on the door and were able to. It hurt you though, did it not?”

I nodded my head. “It always burns.”

“It’s because you’re letting the Witch Matter touch you instead of shielding yourself as you attack. While you hold great immunity to Witch Matter, it will still cause you pain if you don’t defend yourself from it properly.”

“How do I do that?”

“You must play with your Matter, get it to fill your body and shift it around to specific areas. When you do, you will feel a great strength in that area. Your senses will grow and your body will strengthen. Once you have mastered it, you can wrap it in your skin as a way of defence against foreign Matter. All Witches are able to do this and are taught at a young age.” He gave me a long look. “Do you understand?”

I frowned. I had never played with my Matter before, partly because I didn’t realise it was. I decided to give it a quick try. Closing my eyes, I extended my claws. Whenever I destroyed Matter it was with these long thick talons. One trait of my vampiric side. I tried to recall what I did when I tore through the Witch-ward, the Matter I had instinctively placed in my hands. I couldn’t. No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t remember what I did, what the Matter felt like.

“It will take time, Alma. What you are learning is something another dhampir or your witch mother would have taught you when you were a child. Just keep trying to feel your Matter and learn to recognise it. Once you do, begin to play with it. From there, using it in a battle or hunting will be quite easy.”

I nodded, slightly disappointed that I couldn’t feel this Matter within me. But my disappointment lifted as Cian went on.

“There is one other trait that the dhampir have. We have the ability to shift.”

I gave him a blank stare. “To shift? Only Wolves and Jaguars are able to.”

“Incorrect. Wolves and Jaguars simply have two bodies; two faces. The dhampir can choose to take the form of something altogether.”

My expression became doubtful. “No vampire or Witch can take another form.”

Cian smiled then began to change. It was rapid and smooth, much unlike how a Wolf changed which looks quite painful to me. In a few seconds a large old grey wolf replaced Cian. His ears twitched and his eyes held mirth at the sight of my surprised expression and wide eyes.

“How did you do that?” I asked softly as he padded to my side and sniffed my nose.

“Instinct. Skill. I am not sure what it is but you just can. The wolf shape is one of the harder ones to take. You will probably work out how to take on the mouse shape first before any others.”

“How many shapes are there altogether?” I asked as I let my fingers feel his rough fur and feel his face, slowly letting the knowledge I could also take another shape sink in.

“The mouse, the owl, the cloud, the wolf and the flock.” He said. “Your shapes will look different to mine, especially the flock, but they will be the same shape.”

“What is the flock?” I asked.

“It is a small flock of insects or small winged creatures. It varies from dhampir to dhampir on what it is exactly. But the flock is very brief, more of a teleportation device, to move your body very quickly from one spot to another. It is very useful in battle to avoid fatal attacks or when you’re cornered.” He explained. “The cloud is similar but slower. It will simply make your body formless and allow you to move about undetected for a much longer period of time.”

I smoothed down his ears and looked at the long faintly yellow canines that poked out of his black upper lip. He didn’t appear to mind. “And the other shapes?”

“One is small, one has wings, one is fast and a predator. All these shapes are use in battle and in hunting. Once you have mastered one, I will teach you when the best time to use it is, whether in battle or not.”

“How quickly will I learn these?”

“As quickly as your body figures out how to. You cannot force these abilities out. They just happen. For now though, try and recognise your Matter. Once you can, I’ll begin to teach you to protect yourself against foreign Matter.”

I nodded and stared at his orange eyes. “And the Core? What exactly is that?”

“That is something you don’t have to worry about right now. I will tell you about it in a week, once you have adapted to the current information I have given you.” He said. “Now you can leave if you wish. Playing with Matter tends to be more enjoyable when you’re running or climbing.”

“Will you come with me?” I asked hesitantly and without much hope.

As predicted, the wolf shook his large shaggy head. “I will remain in here, Alma, you know this.”

I smiled sadly and stood. “Thank you for teaching me.”

“As the only other of your kind, it is only natural that I should teach you. I do not need any thanks from you.” He said and curled in a ball with the tip of his tail touch his nose. “Now go and play. I want you in connection and control of your Matter before you leave.”

I nodded obediently and quietly left Cian alone to doze and think to himself. I had hoped he would leave the crypt. He had been down there so long I knew he must have forgotten what it was like being outside in the moonlight and the rain. But he still refused to, even while his wrists were free of those horrible shackles and chains. He still waited for Annie to come to him and let him out. It made me feel a little sad.

I slowly wondered between the graves, kicking at the grass and mulling over what I had learnt about the dhampir. Apparently I didn’t need to eat even though I felt hunger, I was a near complete immortal, I could take the form of creatures and I had a special organ called the Core. It was strange how I became more confused and doubtful about the dhampir, about my potential abilities, the more I heard about it from Cian. But then again, if Cian was lying, he couldn’t have been able to take that wolf form. He would’ve died in that crypt long ago or at least weakened. Instead he was alive and his body appeared lithe and well when I found him, even after hundreds of years of imprisonment. What he said he could do, what I could do, was true. Well, once my body worked out how to. I wondered how long that would take. To run as wolf or fly as a bird was something I was gradually becoming interested in doing. Excited even. It would be fun and no one else would be able to experience. It made me feel special.

Suddenly being a dhampir was not as terrible as I had imagined it to be.