Bleeding Tears, Crying Blood

My mind woke slowly, trying hard to push away the heavy sleep. My ears gradually woke up, letting the sounds of breathing and slight movement register. And then I managed to open my eyes.

It was dark. Only small lamps were lit in the small room. Blue moonlight glowed behind the long curtain covering numerous large windows. I noted numbly that the furniture and decorations were old looking, as if they came from an era long passed, before my eyes slowly turned to the man approaching my bed.

He was tall, his hair thick and dark as the night, his eyes old and deep blue. But he was smiling, his relief and joy clear on his face. I felt my eyes swell up as happiness filled me. It had been so long since I had seen him and I never realised how much I missed him.

“Father.” I said joyously as I pushed myself up and let him embrace me.

He held me tightly as his hand stroked my hair. I had never felt so safe in my life. But with the reuinion with my father, I gradually remembered what had happened. That Gabor had nearly harvested me and the Wolfram Family had come to my aid in time. That Cian and Leroy were free and Gabor had been caught. That White had defend me and declared me his mate.

I shook the thoughts away when my father spoke. “I am glad you’re safe, Alma. So glad.” He said as he let me go. He touched my face and observed me, making sure I was well. “You have slept for a long time since Augusta brought you here to the Domain.”

“How long?” I asked.

“Two days.” He said and he smiled. “You did well, Alma.”

I was smiling, feeling the old warm pride swell within me whenever my father praised me, but looked up sharply when someone stood from the sofa by the blazing fire.

“Well? She nearly got herself killed.” They scoffed as she came striding forward, her arms folded and a glare on her face. It was strange to see her dressed so normally but, even with the jeans and thick jumper, she still held a strong sense of pride and power. But I knew her instantly. The ragged scars on the left side of her face could never be forgotten.

“Mother.” I said rigidly in welcome.

My father smiled wider and turned to look back at her as she stood behind him, her eyes narrowed. “She only gets it from you.”

“She failed to get my senses though. Anyone with a brain would’ve seen that by handing yourself over and cutting yourself off from any kind of help was idiotic, Lucius.” She said firmly.

My father shook his head, amused by her usual rigidness, and turned to me. “I am just happy you’re safe, Alma.”

I nodded and glanced back up at my mother. She was staring at me with cold eyes but I could see the warmth behind it. I could smell the relief at having me back. And then, all of a sudden, I could smell something new. She smelt as she always had done, of autumn and warmth, but there was something under it. Something well hidden that reminded me of Wolfram. It was Matter.

“Why did you never tell me you were once human, mother?” I wondered allowed.

I noticed her stiffen and worry flittered over her blank expression. “To protect you.” She said.

“And herself.” Lucius said grimly. “We could not have you know something so dire so young. People may have tried to wheedle the information from you.”

“There are only a small handful of people who know, Alma.” Susan said. “And some I would rather had remained in the dark.”

“What happened?” I asked.

Susan sighed heavily. “It was a long time ago. There was a short battle between our Clan and the Whelan wolf Pack. I was shot,” she laughed without mirth. “By Augusta no less. Your father turned me. He couldn’t lose me.”

“Augusta shot you?” I gasped.

She nodded sharply and shrugged. “She was contracted to kill me. Nothing personal.”

I was slightly surprised by how calm she was about that. She simply shrugged it off. She held no grudge to my kin in any manner.

“And you couldn’t let mother die?” I asked, turning my gaze on my father.

He smiled thinly. “No. In part, mostly it was because I had grown too attached to her. She was the woman I wanted as my mate, witch or not.”

I waited for him to continue then coaxed when he remained quiet. “But?”

Susan noticed his reluctance to continue and spoke for him. “Your father cannot live without my blood. Years ago, I let him feed from me. Now he is addicted. Without me, he will turn mad.” Susan said simply.

“Just as you will turn mad without my blood.” Lucius added quietly.

Susan smiled, looking down at him with mild warmth, and touched his head. “We’ve been stuck ever since.”

I blinked slowly, a little amazed at how much my parents had hidden from me. They had managed to hide the fact my mother was a witch and the fact they literally couldn’t live without one another. They had managed to keep all this from me, without me even sensing anything.

“I am sorry we didn’t tell you anything, Alma. Especially about yourself.” Lucius said. “You being in the dark was the only thing that kept you safe.”

“Mostly.” Susan slipped in. “Gabor began to sniff about. I don’t know how he managed to point you out as being a potential dhampir but he did. And he wouldn’t give up until he was proved otherwise.” She hissed in annoyance. “Then he found out you were and decided to harvest you. I am not impressed with him at all.”

“What will happen to him?” I asked anxiously.

“He, Bogdan and his Brides are going be trailed later. Eva is not happy about this and the Elders are blowing a gasket. I doubt they will come out of this with their heads intact.”

I nodded quietly and stared at my hands. My father reached out and gripped them.

“They want you there.” He said regretfully. “They need you to explain what had happened and what he tried to do.”

I shivered. I didn’t want to face Gabor again or Bogdan. They scared me.

“Eva will be testing your minds to wheedle out lies and find truths.” He continued. “Just answer the Elders questions honestly and you’ll be fine.”

“Gabor won’t be near me, will he?” I asked quietly.

Lucius frowned darkly and my mother hissed savagely, baring her fangs. “He won’t get close to you ever again.” Susan snapped. “I promise you that.”

I smiled weakly and remembered why I always felt so safe around my parents. Both were strong and both would defend me with their lives. I was safe as long as they were around.

“Despite what you have been through, I am glad it happened.” Lucius said. I stared up at him, my dark eyes staring at him in confusion. He smiled broadly. “In this whole drama, you have found a young male vampire who will be the father of a new Clan and you have brought home two lost members of our Clan.”

“Cian. He said he was of the Pluvia Clan. Our Clan, the Rain Clain.” I said, remembering the names of the three Clans able to produce dhampir. While I knew Cian was a member, I wasn’t sure who the other was. “But who else?”

“You’ve brought home an old friend.” Lucius said. “Your friend, Kenny, is a jaguar named Arnold Lockwood. Do you recognise the name?”

I nodded instantly. Mother had often spoken of him, almost as if she were speaking of a father. She was fond of him and had never given up hope at his return after he died years ago. Even while my father acknowledged his death, my mother refused to and often flew into a rage when people spoke as if he no longer lived.

“I’ve found Arnold?” I said, smiling.

“You have. And your mother, while she doesn’t show it, is overjoyed.” He said, earning a hostile glare from her. “But Cian is the most important.” Lucius looked at my eyes, smiling still. “He is not just a simple member, Alma. Cian is an Elder and he is my father. He’s your grandfather.” He said. “You’ve brought home a very important man, someone I thought long dead.”

I sat there, numb. I wasn’t quite sure what to think. Cian was my grandfather. As it slowly sunk it, it gradually made sense to me. Joy began to fill me until I remembered something. My grandmother was dead. She had died long ago. No one explained why but she had been killed long before I was born.

“Annie’s dead.” I stated. I felt terrible inside. Cian had been so obedient to the love of his life, so hopeful that she would come to him again, only to find out she was dead. She wasn’t there waiting for him.

My mother looked uncomfortable for a moment and touched the scars that ruined her face while my father’s hand tightened their grip on my fingers. “It is best you speak to him. He is pleased I am alive and he has three grandchildren but much has happened. Our Clan has thinned and Morrigan, his mate and my mother, wasn’t the woman she once was when she died.” He then looked quite stern. “But Alma, what Susan did, neither of us regret. We did what was right.”

Confusion thickened and my eyes snapped to her. “What did you do mother?” I demanded. She refused to look at me and remained silent. “What did you do to Annie?”

“We need to go, Lucius. Eva is calling.” She murmured and took a step away, pulling him after her.

“Mother!” I called, growing both annoyed and frantic.

“Go speak to Cian, Alma. He will tell you what we told him and I feel he may want your company.” Lucius said gently and ruffled my hair. “You do look an awful lot like your grandmother, Alma. It should comfort him.”

He said in such a way I knew I couldn’t argue. I nodded my head and watched as my parents left and listened to the door close behind them.

I remained in bed for a while. At first I simply stared at my hands until I caught something in the corner of my eye. On my bedside table was White, empty and lifeless. I reached out and touched his face before I picked him and placed him on my lap.

The words of his declaration ran through my mind. He had said, quite clearly, that I was his mate. I told myself it was just a ploy to scare Gabor, to make him realise how much he had overstepped the mark, but a little bit of me wondered if there was anything truth at all in what he said. I hoped there was.

Eventually I rose and trundled into the bathroom. I only splashed to water on my face and cleaned my now blunt teeth before I grabbed a simply dress to put on.

The Domain was quiet as always. Not many vampires stay here, not even the Elders. It was a meeting place for the Clans to debate and share information. And, as the last meet had long passed, only a handful of vampires remained; those who were here for the current trial of Gabor and those who cared for the building and its land.

I at first wondered about, keeping White close to my face and speaking briefly to some guards or carers, until I found a familiar scent. Eagerness filled me and I trailed after it, hunting the source down until I found a large lounge on the first floor.

It was massive and seemed more of a giant waiting room to me. But there, sitting on the sofa and talking quietly together, were Leroy and Kenny. Kenny looked up to me and smiled. And there I saw it. I knew I was no longer looking at Kenny but another person. The eyes were so old now, so wise, and even his smile had changed. Now that my parents had told me, it was painfully obvious that the jaguar that slept was now awake.

The man who was once Kenny prodded Leroy and indicated to me. Leroy took a moment to register I was standing there then leapt to his feet and rushed me. He pulled me into a tight embrace and wouldn’t let me go. It was Arnold who had to pull him away.

“She must breathe.” He said, laughing lightly.

“I’m sorry.” Leroy said as he looked me over, seeking any wounds. “But you’re alive. You’re okay.” He said in relief.

I nodded and my eyes caught hold of his hand. My heart sunk like a stone. “But you are not.” I said softly. “Your finger is still gone.”

He shrugged. “It’s not so bad.”

I nodded, not entirely convinced and still feeling guilty about the horrific wound. He had been in such pain. “What is it you plan to do now, Leroy?”

“To return home with Wolfram once he’s ready. My mother needs me still and I have a lot to learn from Cassandra yet.” He said. “You I know will be going back to wherever it is you come from. But I want to know what it is you plan to do about White.”

My face blushed while my expression remained stiff. “What do you mean?”

Leroy suddenly scowled. “You love him. I know you do. I know I have no chance against him.” He said a little bitterly. My blush thickened when I remembered Leroy’s hasty kiss. I had completely forgotten about that and how he felt towards me. “So I want to know if you plan on voicing yourself to him.”

“He’s rejected me.” I said stiffly.

Leroy snorted. “I may not know him well but I doubt that rejection is what he wanted. He is fond of you Alma, much too fond of you.” He glanced at Arnold. “Tell her, Kenny.”

“I agree with Leroy I am afraid, young Mistress.” Arnold said. I couldn’t help but give him a funny look. Hearing Kenny call me young mistress was very weird until I remembered that it was Arnold speaking, the man who had served my family long before my father’s time. Old habits would be kicking in, old memories, and I was now young Mistress to him, daughter of his Master, not just Alma.

“Do something about it, Alma. Please.” Leroy said firmly. I stared at him, noting the pain of his rejection that was never voiced, and nodded slowly.

“I will.” I replied.

He nodded sharply once. “I want you to visit me too.” I promised I would. “And I don’t get yourself into trouble like that again.” I promised I wouldn’t. “And bring White over. The true one. I want to see him properly and know who I lost you to.” I promised I’d try. “Well, I’ll go to bed for now. I’m tired.” Leroy said and patted my arm. I smiled at him and he kissed me cheek firmly before walked passed me and out of the lounge.

“He will probably get lost.” Arnold sighed and was about to follow but stopped when I touched his arm.

“My father says you are Arnold.” I stated.

“I am, young Mistress. I am an old friend and servant of your Clan.”

“I know. My mother missed you terribly.”

He smiled weakly. “I didn’t mean to upset her but I didn’t want to wake. To live a life without Olivia is something I never imagined. Yet here I am. I am alive and she is dead, killed as a baby in her final life.” He sighed heavily. “When I woke a few days ago, I was on the brink of becoming lost. But you kept me focused, young Mistress. You gave me a reason to keep on. You are the child of the woman who rescued the Clan I served, of the woman I considered my own daughter. I wasn’t going to let you die.” He smiled. “I wasn’t going to let Leroy die either. I have been through thick and thin with that boy. So I thank you both and so does Susan. She may have only just got me back only to lose me to grief.”

“You told me something, when you were Kenny. You told me you hated to look at me. That you dreamt of me killing you over and over again. Can you tell me what he was remembering?” I asked a little nervously.

Arnold frowned, looking a little sad. “You look just like her, the woman who murdered me. The woman who murdered the old Master and tried to murder your cousin, Alphonse.” He smiled suddenly. “I am pleased to hear he lives.”

“Yes, he waits back home for me.”

“I wonder how much he has grown.” Arnold wondered. “He was a boisterous one back then. But I am saddened to hear about Ella. She was a good girl. It is a shame she died so young.”

I let a sad smile take over my mouth. Arnold had a lot of things to find out. I didn’t know how much had changed since the end of his last life but I knew there would be people who had passed on he never had a chance to say goodbye to.

“Now, I shall go make sure our friend is not lost. I shall be with you when you go face the Elders. We all will. You have nothing to fear anymore.” He said with a smile and, after patting my hand kindly, he took his leave.

I was once again left alone. I set off once again in search of Cian.

I roamed only a little longer before I began to hear a call. It was the same thrumming feeling I had felt that one evening weeks ago. Cian was calling and he was sad. Terribly sad.

I hurried to him, ignoring anyone I found, until I reached a room hidden deep under the Domain. I entered very hesitantly and closed the door behind me. It was cold and dark but there was just enough light for my eyes to pick up the shape of ancient and web covered row of bookcases.

I shuffled forward carefully, waving away thick webs, until I found Cian sitting in an old thick dust covered chair. Beside him a candle burned, showing his face clearly. I had never seen him look so old and lost. It tore at my heart.

I reached out and touched his shoulder, alerting him to my presence.

“Father told me you’re my grandfather.” I stated after a moment of silence.

Cian smiled but it was faint. “Yes. You are one of three grandchildren I have. Alphonse and Augusta are the two Dunstan gave me. Lucius gave me you.”

“Father is very happy to have you home, grandfather. We all are.”

He looked pained for a moment. “Yet I am not thrilled to be back.”

I frowned. “Why ever not? You have been locked away for four hundred years. You are with your family now.”

“Annie. My dear Annie. She fell so far and so hard.” He said painfully.

I knelt beside him, taking his hand in my and held it gently. “Talk to me, grandfather. Talk to me and I can help you. I want you to be happy you’re back, as happy as I am to know you are my grandfather.”

He was silent for some time, going over the thoughts that rushed about in his mind, and eventually he spoke in a weary tone. “Years and years ago, when I was quiet young, I met a Blue blood known as Morrigan. She was lovely yet wild. It intrigued. I found, over the years of knowing her, I wanted her to be my mate. She agreed and returned my feelings. That overjoyed me so much and we remained content together.” He paused. “But the wars came. Hatred flourished among the Clans for the witches and dhampir. My kin began to be hunted and harvested. Morrigan fought for me when I didn’t. She protected me along with my Clan. I survived the hunts. But Morrigan grew untrusting and refused to let me leave the house without her and a large knife by my side. She feared I would be caught and taken, never to be seen again. She was right. One day I was taken. I was whisked away and was to be harvested, just like you were. I could’ve gotten myself out of it. I could’ve fought them. But I was determined to convince them to let me free, that I was better off alive. Even as they began to cut I still tried. And then Morrigan found me. I have never seen her in such a rage. She slaughtered the whole Clan. The weak ones as well as the children. No one could stop her.

The Elders found out. She had to pay for the slaughter and utter destruction of a Pure Clan. They placed her under the First Penalty for three years. I tried to overrule them but they wouldn’t have it. For three years her mind was tortured and, after that, she was never the same. She was quick to anger, quick to invoke her desire to kill. She grew more and more cautious with me, grew more and more untrusting. When she was pregnant with Dunstan, she seemed to improve. As she watched him grow, she calmed, became less irrational. She saw him become strong, saw him defend his Clan with valour and courage. She trusted that. But then he became wounded when another Clan tried to take me, horribly wounded. We nearly lost him. What calmness she had gained drained away. She got worse and worse. Then she became pregnant again. I had hoped she would regain herself again but, this time, it didn’t work. If anything, the birth of your father made her completely lost. She feared losing her sons. Feared losing me. Feared losing her Clan. She took me and chained me where no one could find me to keep me safe. After that, I was in dark about what was happening to my two sons. To your father and uncle.” He stopped suddenly and looked at me. “I could’ve stopped this. If I had stopped myself getting caught, stopped her punishment, the pain my Clan went through wouldn’t have happened. Annie sanity faded. Her senses of what to protect turned into destroying it. She cut herself off from everything and her need to prove she didn’t love anything sent her over the edge. She forced Dunstan to kill himself with the Nespola witch, their lives taken by your own brother. Dunstan’s poor chosen mate was murdered by Annie. And then Arnold was slain by her in her attempt to kill Alphonse. Morrigan continued to kill and torture her own family until she was finally slain herself.”

I felt cold now and my heart felt numb. “Who killed her?”

“Susan, your own mother. The mate of my only surviving son.” He clenched his fist then sagged into the chair. “I knew Susan did what was right. Annie was on the brink of killing Lucius and Alphonse. Susan was right to stop and end her madness.”

“But?” I coaxed softly.

“I cannot forgive her. She has slain my mate, the woman I have loved for nearly two thousand years. The woman who fought against an army to ensure I would live. I cannot forgive her.” He said bitterly then looked down at me, his eyes filled with sorrow. “I am sorry, Alma.”

I wiped away my growing tears and leant my forehead against his hand. “I am sorry you have returned home to so much pain.”

Cian leaned down and placed his head on mine, silent and wretched. He cried soundlessly for a while. I simply held his hand, remaining by his side, as I felt tears drop onto my skin. We did not stir for a long time. The candle had burned down to its stub when Cian lifted his head and stood.

“Come, Alma. We are being called.” He said as he offered his hand to me. “The trial is about to start.”

Fear was the only thing I felt as he hauled me onto my feet. I stuck close beside him as he took me out of the old room and brought me back to the first floor, where my skin tingled from the warmth and eyes squinted from the light. He took me to the biggest doors in the Domain, the doors that allowed you to enter the Elders hall. And outside stood my parents.

My father’s face lit up at the sight of Cian and walked to his side, his arms open in welcome, but my mother seemed to close up and remained where she was. She knew Cian was angry at her and she knew it would be quite some time before Cian would forgive her for what she had done, no matter how necessary it was. My mother had murdered Morrigan. That is all Cian could see at the moment.

Arnold, as promised was there, and so was Wolfram. I trundled to their side and peered up at my Warlock guard. Quickly I noted that neither Augusta or the werewolf were here. Concern filled me as I remembered how badly hurt the werewolf was.

“Where are Augusta and your father?” I asked worriedly.

“Alexis.” Wolfram informed me. “They are gone. Mother wanted to get my father somewhere safe for him to rest and recover. That and she hates being in the Domain. Makes her feel unsafe.”

“He wasn’t too badly hurt?”

“In all honesty, yes he was. But he does not regret it. You are my mother’s cousin, our kin and family by blood. He would do anything to keep you safe.” He said with a smile. “He will be scarred but no more than that.”

I felt humbled by his desire to protect me. I barely remembered Augusta, let alone her mate. “He didn’t have to.”

Wolfram shrugged. “It’s the nature of wolves. They become a little stupid when family is involved.”

I hummed sadly and he patted my head in comfort, smiling at me.

“Eva is calling now.” Cian interrupted.

I nodded and hesitated as Arnold and Wolfram made their way to the door. My mother came to my side and took my hand. “Face your fears.” She said firmly and dragged me after her.

My father and Cian followed behind us but someone was missing. I could not see White anywhere. I had not found him nor felt him. He hadn’t appeared in my toy either. He was hiding from me, I realised unhappily. He didn’t want to see me.

Turning my attention before me, I approached the giant doors, still holding my mother’s hands. They opened loudly and my heart thudded. Worry and nerves were beginning to grow. I forced myself to enter the dark hall, feeling a sense of fear of the man held within and fear of what was to become of him and his Clan.