Would You Love Me, Would You Hold Me?

I gulped when I saw the building coming closer into view, the sign saying "A Place of Hope for Depression - Depression Rehab Center".

"Do I have to go?" I whined quietly. Johnny looked at me in the rear view mirror from his spot in the driver's seat, smiling sympathetically. "I'm fine, I can handle this on my own..."

"Obviously not." I frowned. "Look, we're making you do this so we won't ever lose you, to get you help. We all love you, Nick, and you need this to get better." I nodded, not really agreeing to it, but knowing I had no way out of it.

We pulled into the parking lot, and Lloyd, Johnny, Dan, and myself all got out. They got my two luggage bags out of the back, rolling them over and giving me the handles to them. "We'll see you soon, dude." Dan smiled, giving me a hug. Johnny did the same, and then I hugged Lloyd.

"I'm here for you, man." He said quietly, patting my back lightly. I nodded, smiling barely at my best friend since I was little. "Thanks, dude."

I said my final goodbyes to them before going through the doors of the center, and up to the front desk. The middle-aged lady sitting there smiled at me warmly. "How may I help you, hon?"

"Uh, I'm here to check in...I'm guessing they put it under "Nicholas Matthews"..." I really didn't know what to do or say. I was so nervous right now, and did not want to be here.

"One minute." She smiled, grabbing her glasses and putting them on before looking on the computer to the side of her. "Yep, right here under "Matthews"." She stood up, calling over another lady. "We're going to have to search through all of your belongings before you can have them back." She stated before gently taking them out of my hands and wheeling them away into a different room. I stared after her, somewhat shocked. "Are you serious?"

"It's the rules." The other lady shrugged, grabbing a key before walking around the desk and over to me. "Follow me, dear."

I followed her through the building, seeing a bunch of different rooms. Some looked like meeting rooms, and there were a few that were obviously "lounge" rooms, with TVs and couches.

She lead me down a hallway, walking half-way down it before stopping in front of a door that had the number "112". She pushed the key into the lock and opened the door, letting me go in first. "So this is where you'll be staying. You'll be here for 60 days, and-"

"Woah, wait...60?" She nodded. "Johnny told me they were only sending me for 30!" I groaned, sitting down on the bed. "He tricked me." I grumbled.

"That's common for people to do that when they send someone here. They tell them it's only 30 so they'll actually agree to go. He only lied because he cares." I looked up at her and she smiled at me again. "But, back to what I was saying; you're going to go through therapy, you're gonna go to meetings, all sorts of things. Here's your schedule for tomorrow," She handed me a piece of paper, and I glanced over it. "Now, while we try not to make our patients feel like prisoners, here;" I let out a laugh, wondering what she was going to dump on me next. "We have some rules and restrictions. First off; all of the rooms are monitored 24/7, so we can make sure you don't do anything stupid. Second, there is a curfew; 10pm weeknights, midnight on weekends. And when I saw curfew, I don't mean you go somewhere else and be back here by then; I mean you have to be in your room by 10 or 12. You are not allowed to leave this facility unless someone requests you to, or it's an absolute emergency."

I listened to her drone on and on, wanting to punch someone in the face as she kept telling me the "rules and restrictions". "So, are we clear on all of that?"

"Yep." I said with little emotion, flashing her a small, fake smile. She nodded and smiled back. "Good. Just so you know, in an hour you have to be in Meeting Room A. If you need help with anything, press that red button on the wall to alert the front desk." I nodded and she left.

Sighing, I looked around the nearly-empty room. This almost felt like a prison cell, there was nothing in here, hardly. No phone, no TV, no computer...I couldn't believe I was here. In this...place. I never thought I'd have to be put in a rehab for my depression. Hell, I never thought I'd actually go as far as trying to kill myself. But, we can all see how that turned out...

Time surprisingly went by quickly, and I found myself heading towards the "meeting room". My nerves were completely out of whack right now, and my anxiety was going through the roof. Just the thought of having everyone listening to my sob-story and why I'm here, and probably judging me because of it, was enough to make me want to try to kill myself again. As horrible as that sounds.

I smiled slightly at all the people who looked at me when I walked in. The "leader" or whatever you want to call them, of the meeting smiled at me and got up. "Hi! I'm guessing you're new here?" I nodded and smiled a little, having no doubt in my mind that my nervousness was showing. "Well then, welcome. I'm Lisa." She held her hand out for me to shake and I did so. "You can have a seat next to Joanna," She pointed to "Joanna", who was glancing around the room, looking quite bored and like she didn't want to be here.

I looked over her for a second, making sure not to make it look like I was being a creeper and staring at her. She had black hair that reached just past her shoulders that was teased slightly, with honey blonde streaks running randomly through it. Her bottom lip was pierced on the right side, a black hoop with a little ball going through it. Her eyelids were covered in black and dark purpley-red eyeshadow, making her grey eyes pop out more. I also noticed both of her arms had tattoos on them, one on her left wrist, the other on the inside of her arm, and also part of her quarter-sleeve peeking out from under the sleeve of her shirt. She was dressed in a simple pair of ripped black skinny jeans, and a Marilyn Manson t shirt. She was gorgeous.

As I sat down in the chair next to hers, I noticed her glancing at me, looking me up and down. I looked at her for a second and smiled, one which she returned. But her eyes held a certain glint to them when she did so, one I couldn't describe.

"I'm Joanna." Her smile turned to a small smirk, and she held her hand out.

"N-Nick." I mentally slapped myself when I stuttered, gently grabbing her hand and shaking it. She made me really nervous, but not in a bad way, like I thought she was gonna murder me or something. It was...I don't even know. She just made me nervous. She was...almost intimidating.

"We just met, but I feel like you and I are gonna get along just fine here." She smiled, that glint still in her eyes.

"Oh really?" I smiled, trying to not stutter like an idiot this time.

"Yeah," She smirked, folding her hands in her lap. "We both seem like we're pretty fucked up."

She caught me by surprise with that one, which only made her smirk grow. I didn't know if I should be offended, or if it was a joke, or what to think. I was confused, to say the least.

"Umm..." She laughed quietly when I looked at her uneasily.

"And I mean that in the most loving way, dear."