Status: New Story
You Suck at Love
Repeating Disaster
Door locked.
Video up.
Headphones in.
Lotion ready.
Tissues ready.
Press play.
Moans are louder.
Heart beats faster.
So does my pace.
Biting my lip.
"Jonah, did you take my cologne?" Torrison walked in. I yelped, slamming the laptop closed and trying to hide myself. He didn't even blink. He just went to my dresser and picked up his cologne. "Would you stop taking my cologne? It's not like anybody cares what you smell like, although you could use a shower." He looked at me. "And you're doing it wrong. Cup the lower region of your shaft to make a bigger orgasm." He said while leaving the room.
Mood killed.
So is my erection.
Head, meet desk.
Torrison is a buzzkill (on many occasions). He's Mister Perfect, and seems to think he knows everything and does everything better than anybody. He's also so self-absorbed that he can't be bothered to interact with people on a personal level. Which is why he had no problem bursting into my room at the most awkward moment. Which reminds me - I need to check the lock on my door.
I groaned and got up. I washed my hands. I was checking out the lock on my door when Torrison walked through the hallway again.
"Oh, are you done?" He asked with a bored tone.
I glared at him and didn't answer.
"That was pretty quick, don't you think? Nobody likes a guy who cums prematurely."
"Just shut up, Tor. You don't need to get involved in my sex life."
"You mean lack of one."
I tried to ignore him, but Torrison just gets under my skin.
"I have a sex life!"
"I see. You and your hand are very happy together, I assume?"
I swung to punch him but he backed away. "Watch your temper, and work on your aim. You're swinging too high."
"SHUT UP TORRISON! IF I'M GONNA HIT YOU, THEN I'LL HIT YOU HOW I WANT TO!" I screamed at him.
He didn't even respond to that. "Mom said she's going to need help bringing groceries into the house when she gets back, and I nominated you to help her."
"As always." I grumbled. I wasn't really upset - I liked helping mom out. I just wish Torrison would lift a finger every once in a while. "How did you get into my room?"
"I had a key made." He said nonchalantly.
"Why the hell do you need a key to my room?"
"In case you take my stuff, like you always do. You think you would learn not to touch my stuff by now. Why do you even need my cologne? If you're having a hard enough time attracting people with your face, they aren't going to be any more attracted to you because you smell nice. This cologne doesn't suit you anyway - it's too masculine for you."
I groaned and slammed my door shut.
He likes to make fun of me, but he doesn't do it to make fun of me. I mean, he doesn't tease me because he's my brother or because he likes to make me feel bad about myself, he just has this major fault where he can see every flaw in every person, but he rarely lists his own flaws.
That's because he doesn't have many.
Torrison is fucking perfect. Perfect grades, perfect girlfriend, perfect fashion sense, perfect skin... he's a master at debate, and he doesn't waste time doing anything he doesn't like as long as it won't benefit him. He's never touched an instrument or any sporting equipment because he doesn't need to. One day, Torrison is going to walk up to the president and tell him everything that he's doing wrong, and then Torrison will tell him his own plans to fix everything, and once he's taken care of the U.S., he'll move on to every other government in the world and fix them too. On the bright side, the world would get better. Unfortunately, he has a really warped sense of what will make things better. Like, if he thinks a war will actually make things work out in the end, he'll devise a plan, and backups for his plan, and try to determine how each side should combat each other. Yes, he will try to organize how EACH SIDE IN THE WAR WILL ACT, enemy or friend, because to Torrison, there are no bad guys or good guys, there are just factors that can determine the outcome of something. He's a very factual, very logical person, and he can get many people to see things how he sees them, even if no one agrees with him.
He's never wrong. THAT is why is is perfect. He is never wrong, and he doesn't acknowledge his flaws, but everyone is too busy obsessing over the flaws that he's pointed out in them that you don't even try to find his flaws. It's a brilliant defense, and it makes me wonder what he would even need to hide from everyone else. Maybe he's secretly sensitive...
Yeah right.
The door bell rang, so I ran downstairs to help my mom with the groceries. She hates grocery shopping. "I'm an event planner, not a caterer." She says. She doesn't know much about food. My dad does most of the cooking. He's pretty good - he learned from his mom. He tries to teach me sometimes, but you know how clumsy I am.
"Jonah, stop! You're making a mess! Here, just let me do it!" She yells at me when I try to help her cook.
Dad doesn't yell at me, but dad isn't around much. He moved out after they got divorced. I like spending time at his house, but he's not really a parent - he's like a big kid, which is why my mom couldn't handle it anymore. She's a stressed out worker who thinks everyone should just grow up. I'm surprised they lasted as long as they did. I'm probably a momma's boy. I don't Torrison cares much for either one of our parents. Sometimes, I don't even think he's a human. I think he's a cyborg.
After putting away the groceries (without causing a mess), I went back upstairs and crashed in my room. I hated Sundays. They went by too quickly and too slowly at the same time. Maybe I'll make another video.
I usually make a video when nobody is home. Torrison wouldn't care one way or the other, but my mom might ask questions that I don't want to answer.
I locked my door again and put a chair under the knob so I wouldn't have any more unwanted guests. I set up the camera and sat in front of the computer, then hit record.
"Hey, it's me again. I haven't posted a video in a while. I've been busy with my... horrible social life. My mom threw me a birthday party... that sucked. I finally got the balls to ask out the guy I like, only it wasn't really a date, and I fucked it up anyway. I'm a klutz, and I will forever be a klutz. A lonely klutz.
I don't mean to be depressive today, it's just that mood that I'm in. My brother, Mister Perfect, told me what I'm doing wrong with my life again. And I kinda miss my dad. He lives like halfway across the city now, and he has his job... so we don't visit him much.
I've been feeling like crap lately. And do you know what comes from crap? Masterpieces!" I grinned. "Well, maybe not in a literal sense, but a lot of creative works come from when an artist suffers. I don't know why, but pain leads to art and vice versa. My pain led me to write this song, so I'm going to sing it to you with my crappy voice. Oh, and it's called 'Repeating Disaster."
I set up my notebook with my lyrics.
"Repeating Disaster
I turn my tears into stones so they can hurt you too.
Might not break your bones, but the message'll get through.
Take a good hard look at what we've become.
The monsters are coming out, so you better run.
No future's set in stone...
any place could be your home...
wish the past was unknown...
so we won't know -
we're repeating disaster...
we're repeating disaster...
we're repeating disaster (disaster)...
no, we're repeating disaster...
Harsh lines set into your face.
Tell the time that the pain took place.
Hide all you want but you can't disguise your eyes... they're like an inkwell brimming over...
the story's told every night you sleep.
The poor souls just sit and weep and you... well you're a human too.
No future's set in stone...
any place could be your home...
wish the past was unknown...
so we won't know -
we're repeating disaster....
we're repeating disaster...
we're repeating disaster (disaster)...
oh no, we're repeating disaster...
Reappearing shadows with crooked aims,
haunting legends with peculiar names,
childhood memories based on broken games,
these same faces oh these same faces.
Invisible supporters hidden in the frames,
hateful people with ridiculous claims -
oh the damage they cause isn't it a shame,
these same faces, these dear old faces!
we're repeating disaster....
we're repeating disaster...
we're repeating disaster...
oh we're repeating repeating yes!
we're repeating disaster!
we're repeating disaster!
we should've run faster...
nooo, why are we repeating disaster..."
I set down my notebook and smiled at the camera. "Now I know that most of you have no problem critiquing me on my singing, but can you at least leave constructive feedback? Telling me I suck doesn't help me sing any better, now does it?" I ran a hand through my hair. "Okay, so I'll probably rerecord this song and edit it in my studio program later. Um... thanks for the comments that I've gotten so far. I don't usually do requests, but I haven't really gotten requests before, so I'll try it. Um... to bellebe64, I think you're cute too! And sorry, keezyq, I don't do nudes." I shrugged with a smile. "Okay, I love you all! Hakuna matata!"
I hit stop and posted the video on Youtube. I scrolled through the comments on some of my old videos. "You're voice is amazing!", "How are you not discovered yet?!", "You are freaking adorable!" They boost my self-esteem a lot, but then ignorant people have to come and post this: "Fag.", Shut your mouth before somebody puts a dick in it - oh wait you'd like that, wouldn't you?"
I sighed and closed out my Youtube tab. Yes, I'm gay. No, there's nothing wrong with it. And no, I don't like every guy that I see. I actually have a very picky taste when it comes to crushing on guys.
Jude... I can't say he's my type because I've never met anyone quite like him before, and there are so many things that draw me to him that I can't even figure out what stands out the most. But I'm not going to sit here and list everything, because that would make me a creeper.
I opened my Facebook. I don't know why I even come on here - I don't have any friends from my new school on here, and my old school friends are so far away now. I miss them a lot, and talking online doesn't really help much. There wasn't anything interesting on here.
I could get on Tumblr, but then I'd spend hours at the computer, and I didn't feel like it today.
I closed my laptop, slipped on some shoes, grabbed my phone and my keys, and went for a walk. I had a few favorite places to go, but my absolute favorite was the park. It was filled with people of all ages, as well as artists and musicians and athletes, and pets. It was just a place where everyone could coexist. It wasn't the greatest place for working or getting inspiration, but it was good if you wanted a distraction or just needed a place to think.
I walked through the park to the bridge. The bridge went over the small river that cut through the park. On the main side of the park was where all the families and everyone hung out. The other side was the darker side, mostly for the stoners and loners. I wasn't one of them, but I didn't feel like watching happy families. I stood on the bridge and looked down at the river, getting lost in my thoughts again...
"Jonah?"
I snapped out of my thoughts and looked around. I didn't see anyone at first, but then I saw a hand waving from behind an easel by the edge of the river. I squinted and saw Jude smiling at me. I smiled back. He set down his things and ran up to see me. I suddenly felt extremely self-conscious - I had just walked out of the house not caring about how I looked.
He came up to me and grinned.
"H-Hi Jude."
"hey Jonah. What are you up to today?"
"Nothing, just walking. I mean, I'm not walking now, but I was walking... earlier. Then I stopped..." I wanted to punch myself in the face for sounding so stupid.
He nodded. "I see. Well, I was out sketching, and I saw this guy standing on the bridge, and I thought it made such a good image against the trees... and then I noticed that it was you, so I came to say hi."
"Hi."
"Hi." He laughed, but I still felt like a moron.
"So, how's the sketch looking?"
"Pretty good actually. Usually when I try to draw out here, it takes forever to get an image that I like, but it was really easy to draw you. It always is."
I raised an eyebrow. "How often do you draw me?"
His eyes widened, and then he blushed. HE FREAKING BLUSHED. "Please don't think I'm a creep. You're just a really good drawing subject."
I smiled. "You haven't answered the question."
He looked away. "I've only finished three so far, plus that one that I gave you in the beginning, and I'm working on two now."
I stared at him in disbelief. "You really think I'm good enough to be in your art that many times?"
"Well yeah, you're... um..." He scratched the back of his head. "Pretty attractive."
I smiled. "Really?"
He smiled back. "Yeah."
I wanted to cheer because of that, but that would only make me look like more of a moron. I settled for biting my lip so I wouldn't scream happily. His smile was slowly fading. Before I ask him what was wrong, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine. I kissed back immediately. His hands held my face, and I wrapped my arms around his body. I felt warm all over and got tingles in the same places I had from earlier's "personal time". We broke away.
"Jonah..." he breathed my name in his deep, husky voice. "I'm... I'm sorry." He pulled away. "I can't do this." He looked at me, then ran off.
He left me standing there dazed... and hurt.
Video up.
Headphones in.
Lotion ready.
Tissues ready.
Press play.
Moans are louder.
Heart beats faster.
So does my pace.
Biting my lip.
"Jonah, did you take my cologne?" Torrison walked in. I yelped, slamming the laptop closed and trying to hide myself. He didn't even blink. He just went to my dresser and picked up his cologne. "Would you stop taking my cologne? It's not like anybody cares what you smell like, although you could use a shower." He looked at me. "And you're doing it wrong. Cup the lower region of your shaft to make a bigger orgasm." He said while leaving the room.
Mood killed.
So is my erection.
Head, meet desk.
Torrison is a buzzkill (on many occasions). He's Mister Perfect, and seems to think he knows everything and does everything better than anybody. He's also so self-absorbed that he can't be bothered to interact with people on a personal level. Which is why he had no problem bursting into my room at the most awkward moment. Which reminds me - I need to check the lock on my door.
I groaned and got up. I washed my hands. I was checking out the lock on my door when Torrison walked through the hallway again.
"Oh, are you done?" He asked with a bored tone.
I glared at him and didn't answer.
"That was pretty quick, don't you think? Nobody likes a guy who cums prematurely."
"Just shut up, Tor. You don't need to get involved in my sex life."
"You mean lack of one."
I tried to ignore him, but Torrison just gets under my skin.
"I have a sex life!"
"I see. You and your hand are very happy together, I assume?"
I swung to punch him but he backed away. "Watch your temper, and work on your aim. You're swinging too high."
"SHUT UP TORRISON! IF I'M GONNA HIT YOU, THEN I'LL HIT YOU HOW I WANT TO!" I screamed at him.
He didn't even respond to that. "Mom said she's going to need help bringing groceries into the house when she gets back, and I nominated you to help her."
"As always." I grumbled. I wasn't really upset - I liked helping mom out. I just wish Torrison would lift a finger every once in a while. "How did you get into my room?"
"I had a key made." He said nonchalantly.
"Why the hell do you need a key to my room?"
"In case you take my stuff, like you always do. You think you would learn not to touch my stuff by now. Why do you even need my cologne? If you're having a hard enough time attracting people with your face, they aren't going to be any more attracted to you because you smell nice. This cologne doesn't suit you anyway - it's too masculine for you."
I groaned and slammed my door shut.
He likes to make fun of me, but he doesn't do it to make fun of me. I mean, he doesn't tease me because he's my brother or because he likes to make me feel bad about myself, he just has this major fault where he can see every flaw in every person, but he rarely lists his own flaws.
That's because he doesn't have many.
Torrison is fucking perfect. Perfect grades, perfect girlfriend, perfect fashion sense, perfect skin... he's a master at debate, and he doesn't waste time doing anything he doesn't like as long as it won't benefit him. He's never touched an instrument or any sporting equipment because he doesn't need to. One day, Torrison is going to walk up to the president and tell him everything that he's doing wrong, and then Torrison will tell him his own plans to fix everything, and once he's taken care of the U.S., he'll move on to every other government in the world and fix them too. On the bright side, the world would get better. Unfortunately, he has a really warped sense of what will make things better. Like, if he thinks a war will actually make things work out in the end, he'll devise a plan, and backups for his plan, and try to determine how each side should combat each other. Yes, he will try to organize how EACH SIDE IN THE WAR WILL ACT, enemy or friend, because to Torrison, there are no bad guys or good guys, there are just factors that can determine the outcome of something. He's a very factual, very logical person, and he can get many people to see things how he sees them, even if no one agrees with him.
He's never wrong. THAT is why is is perfect. He is never wrong, and he doesn't acknowledge his flaws, but everyone is too busy obsessing over the flaws that he's pointed out in them that you don't even try to find his flaws. It's a brilliant defense, and it makes me wonder what he would even need to hide from everyone else. Maybe he's secretly sensitive...
Yeah right.
The door bell rang, so I ran downstairs to help my mom with the groceries. She hates grocery shopping. "I'm an event planner, not a caterer." She says. She doesn't know much about food. My dad does most of the cooking. He's pretty good - he learned from his mom. He tries to teach me sometimes, but you know how clumsy I am.
"Jonah, stop! You're making a mess! Here, just let me do it!" She yells at me when I try to help her cook.
Dad doesn't yell at me, but dad isn't around much. He moved out after they got divorced. I like spending time at his house, but he's not really a parent - he's like a big kid, which is why my mom couldn't handle it anymore. She's a stressed out worker who thinks everyone should just grow up. I'm surprised they lasted as long as they did. I'm probably a momma's boy. I don't Torrison cares much for either one of our parents. Sometimes, I don't even think he's a human. I think he's a cyborg.
After putting away the groceries (without causing a mess), I went back upstairs and crashed in my room. I hated Sundays. They went by too quickly and too slowly at the same time. Maybe I'll make another video.
I usually make a video when nobody is home. Torrison wouldn't care one way or the other, but my mom might ask questions that I don't want to answer.
I locked my door again and put a chair under the knob so I wouldn't have any more unwanted guests. I set up the camera and sat in front of the computer, then hit record.
"Hey, it's me again. I haven't posted a video in a while. I've been busy with my... horrible social life. My mom threw me a birthday party... that sucked. I finally got the balls to ask out the guy I like, only it wasn't really a date, and I fucked it up anyway. I'm a klutz, and I will forever be a klutz. A lonely klutz.
I don't mean to be depressive today, it's just that mood that I'm in. My brother, Mister Perfect, told me what I'm doing wrong with my life again. And I kinda miss my dad. He lives like halfway across the city now, and he has his job... so we don't visit him much.
I've been feeling like crap lately. And do you know what comes from crap? Masterpieces!" I grinned. "Well, maybe not in a literal sense, but a lot of creative works come from when an artist suffers. I don't know why, but pain leads to art and vice versa. My pain led me to write this song, so I'm going to sing it to you with my crappy voice. Oh, and it's called 'Repeating Disaster."
I set up my notebook with my lyrics.
"Repeating Disaster
I turn my tears into stones so they can hurt you too.
Might not break your bones, but the message'll get through.
Take a good hard look at what we've become.
The monsters are coming out, so you better run.
No future's set in stone...
any place could be your home...
wish the past was unknown...
so we won't know -
we're repeating disaster...
we're repeating disaster...
we're repeating disaster (disaster)...
no, we're repeating disaster...
Harsh lines set into your face.
Tell the time that the pain took place.
Hide all you want but you can't disguise your eyes... they're like an inkwell brimming over...
the story's told every night you sleep.
The poor souls just sit and weep and you... well you're a human too.
No future's set in stone...
any place could be your home...
wish the past was unknown...
so we won't know -
we're repeating disaster....
we're repeating disaster...
we're repeating disaster (disaster)...
oh no, we're repeating disaster...
Reappearing shadows with crooked aims,
haunting legends with peculiar names,
childhood memories based on broken games,
these same faces oh these same faces.
Invisible supporters hidden in the frames,
hateful people with ridiculous claims -
oh the damage they cause isn't it a shame,
these same faces, these dear old faces!
we're repeating disaster....
we're repeating disaster...
we're repeating disaster...
oh we're repeating repeating yes!
we're repeating disaster!
we're repeating disaster!
we should've run faster...
nooo, why are we repeating disaster..."
I set down my notebook and smiled at the camera. "Now I know that most of you have no problem critiquing me on my singing, but can you at least leave constructive feedback? Telling me I suck doesn't help me sing any better, now does it?" I ran a hand through my hair. "Okay, so I'll probably rerecord this song and edit it in my studio program later. Um... thanks for the comments that I've gotten so far. I don't usually do requests, but I haven't really gotten requests before, so I'll try it. Um... to bellebe64, I think you're cute too! And sorry, keezyq, I don't do nudes." I shrugged with a smile. "Okay, I love you all! Hakuna matata!"
I hit stop and posted the video on Youtube. I scrolled through the comments on some of my old videos. "You're voice is amazing!", "How are you not discovered yet?!", "You are freaking adorable!" They boost my self-esteem a lot, but then ignorant people have to come and post this: "Fag.", Shut your mouth before somebody puts a dick in it - oh wait you'd like that, wouldn't you?"
I sighed and closed out my Youtube tab. Yes, I'm gay. No, there's nothing wrong with it. And no, I don't like every guy that I see. I actually have a very picky taste when it comes to crushing on guys.
Jude... I can't say he's my type because I've never met anyone quite like him before, and there are so many things that draw me to him that I can't even figure out what stands out the most. But I'm not going to sit here and list everything, because that would make me a creeper.
I opened my Facebook. I don't know why I even come on here - I don't have any friends from my new school on here, and my old school friends are so far away now. I miss them a lot, and talking online doesn't really help much. There wasn't anything interesting on here.
I could get on Tumblr, but then I'd spend hours at the computer, and I didn't feel like it today.
I closed my laptop, slipped on some shoes, grabbed my phone and my keys, and went for a walk. I had a few favorite places to go, but my absolute favorite was the park. It was filled with people of all ages, as well as artists and musicians and athletes, and pets. It was just a place where everyone could coexist. It wasn't the greatest place for working or getting inspiration, but it was good if you wanted a distraction or just needed a place to think.
I walked through the park to the bridge. The bridge went over the small river that cut through the park. On the main side of the park was where all the families and everyone hung out. The other side was the darker side, mostly for the stoners and loners. I wasn't one of them, but I didn't feel like watching happy families. I stood on the bridge and looked down at the river, getting lost in my thoughts again...
"Jonah?"
I snapped out of my thoughts and looked around. I didn't see anyone at first, but then I saw a hand waving from behind an easel by the edge of the river. I squinted and saw Jude smiling at me. I smiled back. He set down his things and ran up to see me. I suddenly felt extremely self-conscious - I had just walked out of the house not caring about how I looked.
He came up to me and grinned.
"H-Hi Jude."
"hey Jonah. What are you up to today?"
"Nothing, just walking. I mean, I'm not walking now, but I was walking... earlier. Then I stopped..." I wanted to punch myself in the face for sounding so stupid.
He nodded. "I see. Well, I was out sketching, and I saw this guy standing on the bridge, and I thought it made such a good image against the trees... and then I noticed that it was you, so I came to say hi."
"Hi."
"Hi." He laughed, but I still felt like a moron.
"So, how's the sketch looking?"
"Pretty good actually. Usually when I try to draw out here, it takes forever to get an image that I like, but it was really easy to draw you. It always is."
I raised an eyebrow. "How often do you draw me?"
His eyes widened, and then he blushed. HE FREAKING BLUSHED. "Please don't think I'm a creep. You're just a really good drawing subject."
I smiled. "You haven't answered the question."
He looked away. "I've only finished three so far, plus that one that I gave you in the beginning, and I'm working on two now."
I stared at him in disbelief. "You really think I'm good enough to be in your art that many times?"
"Well yeah, you're... um..." He scratched the back of his head. "Pretty attractive."
I smiled. "Really?"
He smiled back. "Yeah."
I wanted to cheer because of that, but that would only make me look like more of a moron. I settled for biting my lip so I wouldn't scream happily. His smile was slowly fading. Before I ask him what was wrong, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine. I kissed back immediately. His hands held my face, and I wrapped my arms around his body. I felt warm all over and got tingles in the same places I had from earlier's "personal time". We broke away.
"Jonah..." he breathed my name in his deep, husky voice. "I'm... I'm sorry." He pulled away. "I can't do this." He looked at me, then ran off.
He left me standing there dazed... and hurt.
♠ ♠ ♠
That song, Repeating Disaster is an original song that I wrote. I can't sing, but my friend can sing, so if he sings it for me, then he'll put it on Youtube and I'll give you guys the link.Can you believe I actually forgot that I had character pictures posted on the summary page? I went and clicked on each character's name, and I'm like "wow, these people are hot!" Especially Jonah - I nearly fell out of my chair, I was like "how the FUCK did I forget he was that FUCKING HOT?!" Yeah. In case you're too lazy to go back and look: Jonah
So, because I'm feeling naughty, and I've never written a full out sex scene before, and I'm curious as to how it would turn out, I've been wanting to write out a threesome scene. However, I don't know which characters that would involve.
If you people even think this is a good (or horribly entertaining) idea, which character match would you want? It can be between:
Jude
Jonah
Owen
Adam (Owen's gay lover)
Gwen (if you really think I could screw up her innocence that easily)
Dahlia (honestly, I don't know who would want that, but whatever floats your boat)
Give your opinion - YES or NO, and who you want to be involved. I'm sure I can make it all relate to the story... somehow.
Anywhosits, comment and subscribe <3 and read the story, most of all. I'll be honest, I've subscribed to a story, thinking I was gonna read it... I never did.
Also, Torrison. I probably won't post pictures for Adam or Dahlia unless their characters become more important. And you know, Torrison WASN'T actually right on one part - girls are more likely to like a guy because of their scent, not their appearance. But Jonah was wearing cologne for Jude, which is a guy, so I don't know how that works.
