Bruised and Scarred

He spat in my face for one hurrah, then dressed himself before going back into his room. I threw my old clothes into the trash bin nearby, deciding I couldn’t bear to wear them again. But I had to keep the jacket. I paid too much for that jacket and I loved it too much. I packed it into my suitcase and changed into a gray oversized slouchy shirt, and a pair of blue jeans. I brushed my hair out a bit, but decided to leave it a little messy.

I slipped on a pair of worn leather studded boots, and went into the bathroom and locked the door. I looked at myself in the mirror, and realized I had cried my make up off. I inhaled a relaxing breath, then exhaled before washing my face. I applied a new coat of foundation, and swiped on some mascara and left it at that. I wanted to cut for one last time, just once. I realized I hadn’t cut myself since I was reunited with Derek, but I was knowingly leaving him behind.

Derek wasn’t going to be here to save me. He couldn’t save me from what I was slowly becoming. I left the bathroom, and resisted the urge to go back and find a pair of scissors, a blade, a broken piece of glass, anything really. I grabbed my bags, and went to the main lobby to check out, and leave this forsaken town.

After I had gotten a cab, I got a call from Derek. I ignored it, knowing if I answered I’d have to hear his voice, and that would only hurt me worse. Once we made it to the airport, I paid for my cab fare and then went through the bullshit airport routine, and then as I sat in the terminal I had to wait.

Derek kept calling, and calling. I eventually shut off my phone, refusing to talk to him. I didn’t know why I was doing this to him. We loved each other, why couldn’t I be with him? I sat back in my chair, and closed my eyes. Memories flooded my head, great memories.
Memories of Derek and I when we were younger, when we first met. It was Miss Graces’ Pre-K class. I walked in holding my mothers’ hand, and he was the first to come up to me. He wanted to play; he wanted to be my friend. I didn’t hesitate to let go of my mothers’ hand, I almost forgot she was even there. We played all day that day, and everyday after that.
Came Kindergarten, we were in the same class again. We practiced reading to each other, and always sat at the same table during our various activities. We lied next to each other during our nap, and sometimes I remembered touching his small hand with mine.

In first grade, boys chased the girls across the play ground trying to kiss them. If he was chasing anyone, he was chasing me.

“I’m not going to kiss you! You’re filthy!” I would yell as he chased me. We would laugh, and I would occasionally chase him. But never did we kiss, we couldn’t imagine the feeling of our lips touching the others, it was something mommy’s and daddy’s did. At least, that’s what he told me. I didn’t know my father, and it didn’t bother me until I got into middle school. I was an only child, and my mother worked all the time.

When people were bothering me, I was the only one who could defend myself. And needless to say I was horrible at it. Derek took it upon himself to be my defender, protecting me from boys who wanted nothing but the chance to unzip my jeans, get a look at me naked. Sometimes when I wanted nothing but that from a boy, and he would ward them off I would grow angry,

“Why can’t I have one boy? I actually liked him Derek!”

“He isn’t good enough for you!” He would reply.
“How do you know? Have you talked to him? Really talked to him?”

“Yes Emmeline, I talk to him every night at dinner. He’s my brother!” My idiocy would cause us to laugh again, and forget about the incident rather quickly. In high school he started forming bands, trying to get a feel of the life of a musician. I didn’t see him often, but one guy I did see rather often was Jason. The idea of him made me cringe. I opened my eyes, and sighed.

“Boarding Flight to New York City, New York,” A lady spoke over the intercom. I stood up and grabbed my small carry-on bag, and stood in line with the other boarding passengers. While I waited, I turned on my phone to check the time, and once I did I saw I had a voicemail. I decided to check it, and quickly listen to it. My heart sank when I heard it was from Derek.

I could barely hear him, but I heard enough. He had been crying, possibly for a long time. He wanted to know if I was okay, and if I was if he had done something wrong. He wanted to know when he was going to see me again. But the thing that hit me most, was that he said he still loved me. He wanted me to remember that.

I turned off my phone and handed the lady my ticket, trying to hide the pain in my face. She smiled at me softly, and returned my ticket and allowed me to pass. I boarded the plane, put my carry-on into the overhead bin and took my seat by the window, buckled the seatbelt and sat back, and waited to take off.

-----

Landing in New York didn’t make me feel any better than I did departing Florida. I turned on my phone, just to make sure Derek hadn’t called again. He hadn’t. But I had received an email from an address I almost didn’t recognize.

Emmeline, this is your cousin Blaine. I heard you’re visiting New York, as it seems permanently. Good thing, our great-grandfather Jax just kicked the bucket. What a relief. Anyways. He left everything to you in his will, with a small catch of course the old bastard. You get the pleasure of splitting all of his belongings, with me. I will be picking you up immediately from the airport.

-Blaine Jax.

Great-grandpa Jax was an old bastard. I couldn’t believe he was making me share his entire living fortune with the bratty already spoiled rich kid Blaine. This was ridiculous. But before I could detest anymore, I saw the very flamboyant cousin waving his girlish hand over at me.

“Emmeline! C’mon! The limo is waiting!” I rolled my eyes, and went up to him.
“You get my bags, I’m getting a head start to the limo.” He was ready to protest, and probably say something about my appearance but I left him quicker than I had greeted him. I went out in the cool New York air, and found the stretch limo awaiting me.

“Miss Jax,” The chauffer greeted me with a smile, and opened the limo door. I peered inside, and my jaw almost dropped to the floor. I quickly got in and he shut the door, allowing me privacy to look around.

“Hello,” I jumped and looked over towards the voice. I saw a very old, and vaguely familiar man.

“Hello?”

“You don’t remember me do you Miss Emmeline?” I cocked an eyebrow.

“I’m the family butler,” I nodded.

“I see.” I looked around anxiously, and sighed in relief once I heard the door open. But when I realized it was only Blaine, my whole sense of relief dropped.

“Nice to see you too Emmeline.” I stuck out my tongue at him, and once we were moving the tension between the three of us grew.

“So, what exactly do I have to share with you?”

“Half of everything.” I rolled my eyes.

“What is everything, exactly.”

“All of his estates, all of the money, cars, businesses, clients, et cetera, et cetera.” I rolled my eyes. But when he started going into detail of what we were sharing, I didn’t think I would be doing much complaining.

“So Emmeline, why the sudden trip to New York? I was under the assumption your life in Florida was going perfectly swell.” I glared at him.

“Well, assumptions are a horrible thing to go by aren’t they Blaine?” I knew that even though I was in it for the sweet life now, that with Blaine hanging close by it wasn’t going to be lovely.

I looked out the darkly tinted window, watching all the city lights and buildings pass by me. I knew everything was changing, but I only wished that Derek could be with me during the journey that was going to unfold.