In the Back of My Mind
One
“Brian!” She giggled, as he tickled her sides. “Would you quit that!”
“Why?” He asked in such a childish sounding tone, his chocolate brown eyes looking innocent.
“Because,” She muttered. “I’m almost done with this,” She said, hitting the save as draft button on her post for the fifth time now. She hadn’t gotten much done since Brian had come home from work.
“But baby,” He whined. “I just want to cuddle with you.”
She sighed, turning her head away from the computer screen to look at the twenty two year old man sitting beside her on the couch. Her own blue eyes focused on his for a minute as she tried not to laugh at his adorable face. “When I’m done we can cuddle all you want.”
“Promise?” He asked, pouting his bottom lip a little for an added dramatic affect.
“Promise,” She nodded. “Now can I finish this please?”
“I’ll be waiting for you in bed,” He said, leaning over to peck her cheek softly.
“Thank you,” She replied, finishing up her latest blog post.
That was over three years ago. When Brooklyn was still young; When Brian was still working at his job in a record shop in downtown Chicago.
When Brooklyn was trying to balance her daily blogging, her college homework, and her social life; When Brian was still in the mind frame of a teenage boy.
When Brooklyn was the only thing he needed to be happy; When Brian was the only thing that was constantly on her mind.
But people change, as do their intentions and as luck would have it; Brooklyn knew that Brian wouldn’t stay around. She always knew.
She just wasn’t ready to face that reality yet.
“Brook,” He sighed. “I have to be honest with you,” He said shuffling his weight from one side of his body to the other while standing right in front of her.
She gulped. “Okay.”
“I don’t think I’m what you’re looking for…”
Her eyebrows furrowed together as she tried to make sense of what he had just said. “What?”
Brian took her hands in his, looking right into her eyes and straight into her heart. “Brooklyn, you know I love you and I know you love me too, but honestly, do you really love me? Or are you settling for me just because?”
“I’m not –“
“You are beautiful Brook,” He interrupted. “You deserve someone who is just as beautiful as you. I’m not that guy. I work at a record store for Christ sake! There isn’t anything that you’ve done wrong to make me think this. I’ve been thinking this was since the day I met you.”
She let go of his hands, staring down at the hardwood floor beneath their feet.
“How could you even think like that Brian?” She whispered, heat rising in her cheeks and pressure building behind her eyes. Hastily, she wiped the tears coming to her eyes, snapping her head up to look at him. “How could you ever think that I’m settling? You know I’ve told you I don’t say I love you to many people, and you threw that out the window, didn’t you? Well, if you don’t think you deserve me, then I guess you really don’t,” She muttered, spinning on her heel and storming out of their apartment.
“Why?” He asked in such a childish sounding tone, his chocolate brown eyes looking innocent.
“Because,” She muttered. “I’m almost done with this,” She said, hitting the save as draft button on her post for the fifth time now. She hadn’t gotten much done since Brian had come home from work.
“But baby,” He whined. “I just want to cuddle with you.”
She sighed, turning her head away from the computer screen to look at the twenty two year old man sitting beside her on the couch. Her own blue eyes focused on his for a minute as she tried not to laugh at his adorable face. “When I’m done we can cuddle all you want.”
“Promise?” He asked, pouting his bottom lip a little for an added dramatic affect.
“Promise,” She nodded. “Now can I finish this please?”
“I’ll be waiting for you in bed,” He said, leaning over to peck her cheek softly.
“Thank you,” She replied, finishing up her latest blog post.
That was over three years ago. When Brooklyn was still young; When Brian was still working at his job in a record shop in downtown Chicago.
When Brooklyn was trying to balance her daily blogging, her college homework, and her social life; When Brian was still in the mind frame of a teenage boy.
When Brooklyn was the only thing he needed to be happy; When Brian was the only thing that was constantly on her mind.
But people change, as do their intentions and as luck would have it; Brooklyn knew that Brian wouldn’t stay around. She always knew.
She just wasn’t ready to face that reality yet.
“Brook,” He sighed. “I have to be honest with you,” He said shuffling his weight from one side of his body to the other while standing right in front of her.
She gulped. “Okay.”
“I don’t think I’m what you’re looking for…”
Her eyebrows furrowed together as she tried to make sense of what he had just said. “What?”
Brian took her hands in his, looking right into her eyes and straight into her heart. “Brooklyn, you know I love you and I know you love me too, but honestly, do you really love me? Or are you settling for me just because?”
“I’m not –“
“You are beautiful Brook,” He interrupted. “You deserve someone who is just as beautiful as you. I’m not that guy. I work at a record store for Christ sake! There isn’t anything that you’ve done wrong to make me think this. I’ve been thinking this was since the day I met you.”
She let go of his hands, staring down at the hardwood floor beneath their feet.
“How could you even think like that Brian?” She whispered, heat rising in her cheeks and pressure building behind her eyes. Hastily, she wiped the tears coming to her eyes, snapping her head up to look at him. “How could you ever think that I’m settling? You know I’ve told you I don’t say I love you to many people, and you threw that out the window, didn’t you? Well, if you don’t think you deserve me, then I guess you really don’t,” She muttered, spinning on her heel and storming out of their apartment.
♠ ♠ ♠
foREVer