We'll Tell The Saddest Story Of How We Made It Through This Past Year.

Alex looked pretty somber as he sank down onto the sofa beside me that night. He didn't seem to be able to meet my eye, and when I ran my hand along his thigh suggestively, he didn't respond at all. I waited a few more minutes, fiddling with the remote, until I just couldn't stand it.

The remote dropped from my hands with a clatter that made Alex jump. If he hadn't looked so sad, I probably would have laughed. He looked up at me, his eyes darker than usual in the near darkness.

Without a word, he reached out and hugged me. I didn't hesitate to put my arms around him and pull him into me. It wasn't very often that Alex was the one who wanted to be held. As much as I hated to pick the 'male' and 'female' in the relationship (frankly, it was insulting and degrading and stupid) I'd have to say that I was the more needy one. I often felt the need to be held, or would initiate hand holding, or would leave little notes around for Alex to find. But today, it was Alex who leaned into me, burying his head into my chest and just letting me hold him.

After a few minutes of holding him, I mumurmed into his hair. "Are you okay, Alex?" His hair tickled my lips as I breathed in and out slowly. He smelt like rain in the summer, felt like a warm sweater on the coldest night, tasted like roasted marshmallows and hot chocolate.

He moved his face out my chest and curled up so that his head was laying on my shoulder and our legs were entwined. He reached for my hand and curled his fingers into mine, and then just looked at our clasped hands. He brought his lips down to my other hand and kissed the fingers. His lips were soft, softer than usual, and butterflies crashed into my stomach like they never had before.

"Did you ever think it would be like this, Jack?" he asked finally, twisting his head to look at me. The light reflected in his eyes, little golden specks that floated gently around the darker irises.

I had to think about what he was asking. Did I ever think about it being like this? When I was younger, I had often sat and pictured the perfect relationship that I'd have when I was older.

I'd wanted to find someone I could be myself with, who accepted me. "Alex! Alex! Home alone is on, come watch it with me, please!" I bounced up and down like a little child. It was only six in the morning and my hair was sticking up everywhere, I was wearing old sweats, and I was sweaty from a night of being with Alex, but I didn't care. Alex was looking at me with an expression that said I was the most precious thing on earth in his eyes. There was nothing but love as he looked at me. And I didn't feel the least bit uncomfortable as I got up, naked, and hugged him. "We're going to miss the beginning, Lex. C'mon." And he'd smiled, and then asked me if I wanted popcorn. Which I always did.

I'd wanted someone who knew me as well as I knew myself. "Hey Jack. I bought you a present, come open it." I bounced over to Alex. "It's not my birthday, baby, why'd you get me a present?" He just smiled at me. "Because I knew that you would have to have it." That excited me and I tore into the paper, throwing it all over Alex as I did so. He wrapped an arm around my waist as I impatiently opened the box. And stared in awe at the book he'd picked out. It was the only one I'd been missing from a collection that I started years ago, a collection that I hadn't thought about in years. Nobody had known, or remembered, as far as I knew. But Alex ... "Alex, I love you!" I threw myself into his arms and kissed him passionately. "You're my other half."

I'd wanted someone who would comfort me and protect me. "Jack, watch it!" Flyzik's voice came too late and I looked up, frozen in horror at the lights that bore down on me. And then there was a sharp tug on my arm and I was falling. Something broke my fall and the truck flew by harmlessly. I looked down into Alex's eyes, which were streaked with horror. "I almost lost you," he breathed. Tears fell down my face and I buried my face into his jacket. I was shaking and struggling to catch my breath. Alex wiped the dirt off of my face and held onto me. "I'll never let you go, Jack. I'll always be there."

I'd wanted a loving family. "Dad, catch this!" A frizbee came whizzing past my head and even my lanky legs couldn't reach it. I watched it fly by, and then, of course, get caught in a tree. Alex and I reached the tree at the same time. It was too high for either of us to reach, so Alex got onto my shoulders. He struggled still to reach, and just as I thought my shoulders were going to give out, he reached a bit higher and grabbed the damn thing. We both fell then, toppling onto the ground. I cut my palm, and Sammie, on seeing the cut, ran back towards the bus. She was back in 5 seconds, holding something in her hand. "I got this for you, Dad. To fix your boo-boo." She held out a hello kitty bandage and Alex and I reached out for it at the same time. Our hands were all entwined for the briefest of seconds.

I'd wanted Alex. "I love you, Alex." We were on stage, halfway through a setlist, and the burning need to say this had finally gotten the best of me. Alex shot me a silly look and came over, wrapping his arms around me. "This guy loves me," he proclaimed to our screaming fans. "Do we believe him?" The screams were louder than they'd ever been. He smiled at me then. "We believe him." He'd then kissed me, softly and sweetly. He then started strumming the chords to Remembering Sunday and one fan screamed out "Ask Jack to marry you!" Alex had gone quiet. I'd tensed up, until I saw the love in his eyes. He turned, adressing that fan. "Not now. Not yet. One day, when he's least expecting it, when he's going to get swept off his feet, when he's going to cry and say nothing but yes, then I'll ask him. And you'll all be invited to our wedding. For now, he knows he has me and I have him and nothing is ever going to change that."

I hadn't realized that tears were streaming down my face until Alex shook my shoulders in alarm. "Jack, what's wrong?" he demanded, and I smiled, a silly smile on my face.

"Nothing's wrong, silly. Everything's perfectly right and rightly perfect. Of course I always thought it'd be like this. I've always wanted to be with you - how could I ask for anything else?" I slipped an arm around him and just inhaled his scent, always thrilled at being with him.

"So ... you're happy then?" he asked, softly this time. I'm sure he already knew the answer just by looking into my eyes, but I would answer him anyway.

"Yes, I'm happy, Alexander William Gaskarth. I'm in love with you, I'm in love with our life, I'm in love with our two girls, I'm even in love with the bunch of idiots we travel with. We're a family. I have a beautiful boyfriend, children, and as many siblings as I need. Damn it to hell, I even have the father figure that I'd always wanted." I was talking about Flyzik now, even though I'd eat live worms before admitting it. "Why wouldn't I be happy?"

Alex took a deep breath. "Because I know it's different around here with the girls. People have felt the differences. There's a lot of tension. I feel like I kind of made a lot of the choices without really talking to everybody, especially you, about how it'd change us. I'm sorry."

My eyes widened. I wondered who Alex could have been talking about. I'd been kind of oblivious to what everyone had been saying. If they didn't like it, they weren't the people I thought they were. But Alex ... Alex was the sensitive type and of course he was going to take even one thoughtless comment to heart. "Lex, don't even start. We love you and we trust you to make the right decisions. We don't need to sit down and make a bigger deal out of it than it is, because we're a family. Families trust each other and would do anything to help out."

Alex hugged me again, harder this time, his body heat seeping into mine and warming my soul. "I love you, Jack." He kissed me softly on the lips, and then got up. "Maybe I can finally get some sleep tonight, now that this is off my chest. Goodnight."

I watched him walk away, wondering how I got so lucky. I was lost in thought and didn't notice there was someone else in the room until a slight noise made me shed my skin.

"Shit, I'm sorry, Jack!" I recognized the voice instantly, and sure enough, looked up into familiar eyes. Kyle was holding a drink and looking awkward. "I thought you'd heard me, i just wanted to see if anything was wrong."

"Nothing's wrong, why do you ask?"

"Well, I saw you and Alex talking. And earlier, he was upset and said he needed to talk to you, so ..." the blond shrugged as if that was a good enough answer. "I didn't know if maybe you were fighting, you know?"

I frowned slightly. Alex and Kyle usually barely talked. Actually, usually it was me and Kyle that were inseperable. But he'd seemed different lately ... hostile, even. I didn't know. Maybe it was just my imagination running away with me. He was here, wasn't he, and talking? And it was a good thing if him and Alex were getting along. I wouldn't have to worry about any silly jealousy ruining our otherwise perfect tour.