We'll Tell The Saddest Story Of How We Made It Through This Past Year.

I woke with a start two days later. For some reason, my head was trying to tell me that there was no power on our bus. Attempting to open my eyes, everything stayed stubbornly dark instead. I blinked a few times to adjust to the darkness and stumbled out of my bed. I was glad that the girls were on tour with us - for once, the bus was pretty neat. I only stumbled over one thing as I fumbled my way to the salon.

Rain pounded on the windows and thunder boomed and banged. Lightening was quick to come and quick to go, but quite frequent. I heard the wind whistling and the bus felt cold. We were getting one hell of a storm.

I thought I saw a shadow in the corner when I emerged from the hall. "Hello?" I whispered, not wanting to scare whoever was sitting there.

"Alex?" The voice replied softly. I recognized it at least, but it wasn't anyone that I had been expecting and I was somewhat surprised.

"Hey, Kyle ... what are you doing here?" I said, louder this time. I picked my way around the furniture, bags, shoes, jackets - the salon was the hardest thing to keep clean because everyone was always in there.

"I-ouffff." Kyle's answer was cut off as I tripped over something and fell - directly onto him. We both laid there for a minute, and then we couldn't help but starting to laugh. We tried to keep quiet, but our laughter was stronger than were. Within moments, we were both struggling for breath and I had fallen again, this time off and Kyle and onto the floor.

Within seconds, Kyle dropped down beside me, holding his sides, tears running down his cheeks.

"Thanks for dropping in, Alex," he said, his eyes bright as he tried to hold back the laughter again. He smiled at me, and then pulled me into a sitting position. "I came over here because everyone was playing poker over on our bus. I'm surprised you weren't there, actually. I wanted some piece and quiet to write a birthday card for my mom. It started pouring not long after I left so I'm not surprised that everyone's still over there." He looked outside, where the trees were pretty much bending in half. "Only an idiot would go out in that."

I agreed with him on that. I shivered and instinctively moved closer to Kyle. "It feels like it's dropped a billion degrees since I went to sleep," I complained.

Kyle nodded. "Yeah. Hey ... not to tell you what to do, but shouldn't you check on the girls?"

I instantly jumped to my feet. "Shit, yes. Thanks for reminding me!"

Kyle got to his feet too and made to follow me, but within the first few steps, both of us had stumbled and almost fallen again. I reached my hand out to Kyle and he grabbed it. I then inched forward, running my other hand along the wall and taking baby steps forward.

"I hope the power's back on tomorrow," Kyle mused. "We have an interview with Bryan Stars and I really don't want it cancelled, I love that dude." Bryan Stars was a cool interviewer that had actually interviewed our band three times now. He was famous and everyone loved him and his interviews. And if they didn't, they should get their heads checked.

We made it to the girls bunk and I pulled back the covers slowly. They were sleeping peacefully. Sammie was holding the teddy bear she was never without, and Gabby had a thumb in her mouth. I reached in carefully and popped the thumb from her mouth. I adjusted the blankets and smoothed Sammie's hair off of her forehead, and then just admired my two girls for a few seconds before closing the bunk and turning back towards Kyle, a sappy smile on my face. But that smile faded almost instantly when I saw the tears that streamed down Kyle's cheeks. I couldn't help it, I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around him.

He wrapped his arms around me too, tightly, and trembled slightly. I rubbed cirlces on his back, which was super tense. I took his hand and pulled him back down the narrow hallway and onto the couch. I pulled him into my arms and just held him there.

"Talk to me, Kyle," I said soothingly.

"You make it look so easy," he hiccupped, his words shaky. "You have no idea how much I wish I could be like you."

"What are you talking about, Ky?" I asked, tired and confused.

He pulled away from me abruptly. "I wish I could be like you. You don't care what people think about you and if you want something you're going to go for it no matter what. You tell the people you love that you love them and you don't hide things from them and you definetely don't treat them like shit. You have an amazing relationship and amazing kids and everyone loves you. I want that." His words came out bullet quick but I understood them and I understood the underlying pain behind them. There was more going on than he was telling me, but I had no choice but to remain patient and see what he would say.

"I've been keeping a secret for a quite a while now and it's tearing me apart. I'm not comfortabe with the guys in my band anymore. They don't understand me. Yes, it's my fault because I don't talk to them, but," he trailed off for a minute, his eyes looking anywhere except at me. I wanted to reach out for him again but I refrained. "I'm scared to talk to them because I'm scared they're not going to accept me."

He looked me straight in the eye this time, and I saw his hands bunch into fists, as if he was trying to draw courage from somewhere deep inside him. "I'm going to tell you, Alex, because I know you can't judge me. Alex ..... Alex, I'm gay."

I hadn't been expecting this at all, and the laughter burst from me before I could stop it. I saw the hurt that jumped into Kyle's eyes and I wished that I could stop laughing, but I couldn't. I was dying of laughter.

"Kyle-" I got out before collapsing into laughter again.

"I'm glad you think it's funny," Kyle said coldly, and went to move away. I sombered up instantly and reached out to him.

"I'm not trying to laugh at you, Kyle. But seriously ... I thought you'd killed someone or something. There is nothing wrong with being gay. I promise." I looked him in the eye, all laughter gone. "I was scared too. It took me forever to own up to my feelings for Jack and in the process I almost lost what is the best relationship off my life, and I almost lost my best friend. Forever. But I realized something, and it led me to make the right choice. Maybe it'll help you too. I'd rather be hated and be happy than be loved and be miserable.Take the courage and do what you need to do. If you hate yourself for it in the morning, then you probably did the wrong thing. If you love yourself in the morning, than you're fine. If you're smiling because of what you did, you definetly did something right."

When he didn't answer, I attempted a joke. "If the other guys in the band don't accept you, you can always come and tour with us. You're good with the girls, you can be our nanny and cook. You can cook, right?"

He looked up at me, his eyes shining. He leapt across the couch, and wrapped me in a hug. "I love you, Alex."

His words made me slighly uncomfortable, but I hugged him back. "I love you too, Kyle."

He pulled away for a moment. And then he leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine, so softly and so quickly that I was sure that it didn't happen. He was gone in a flash, opening the door and disappearing into the rain.

I didn't miss the smile that had crossed his face. I sighed, more confused than ever. I stretched out on the couch and grabbed the blanket. I'd deal with this in the morning.