We'll Tell The Saddest Story Of How We Made It Through This Past Year.

I couldn't believe that Blink 182 had asked us to support them. And I couldn't believe that Alex was saying no.

"Jack, I'm sorry, but we just can't. It's right after this tour ends and with the girls, we have to go home for another month until the evaluation is over. We're lucky to even be doing this tour, with how strict the rules and requirements are."

"Won't you even try talking to them and seeing what they have to say? Alex, it's BLINK-182. You know, the band we've been idolizing since we were children." I knew that my voice had gone whiny and pathetic, but I wanted this tour more than I could ever remember wanting anything.

"Jack, I said no. Please just drop it." Alex's voice was brusque and no-nonsense. It was also cold and almost unfriendly. He'd been like this for the last two days, and I couldn't figure out why. I hadn't done anything. I'd barely even talked to him until I'd gotten the email from Mark Hoppus a few hours ago.

"Sorry I even asked," I said sharply, turning my back on him.

"Don't forget that you have to keep an eye on the girls later tonight," he called out as if reminding me to close the door when I left.

I didn't answer, slamming the door of the tiny kitchen as I went. Alex didn't even attempt to come after me. I walked out of our bus in disgust. I just wanted this tour to be over so we could go home and everyone would be less bitchy. I was thinking about spending a few days with my parents in Lebanon as soon as the adoption was final. Maybe a little time apart was what me and Alex needed.

I sat down by a tree and started picking at a random flower growing. I closed my eyes, face up to the sun. I pretended that I was on a sunny beach, away from everyone else. I could almost taste the sunshine, the sand, the salt and the ... water?

I opened my eyes as water hit me in the face. I looked up to see Kyle holding the cap of a water bottle. The bottle itself was sitting on the ground, facing me.

"Sorry," he said, laughing softly. "The top wasn't on as tight as I thought it was."

"That's okay," I said, happy for a distraction and a friendly face. I looked at my watch. I'd actually fallen asleep, because almost two hours had passed. No wonder I felt cooked.

He sat down beside me. "So what brings you out here all alone? You seem kind of depressed." He smiled at me, encouraging me to talk. "Hey, do you want a drink?" He pulled out a few bottle of Coke from the small backpack on his back. " I was going to go for a walk and take these with me but you look like you could use some company and something cold to drink."

His friendly face, soft voice, and offer of companionship made something inside me break and I reached out and grabbed the soft drink, downing almost half of it in one gulp. It tasted kind of weird, but I didn't care. I was too thirsty and fed up with life to worry about the taste of soft drink.

"We got invited to go on tour with Blink-182," I said quickly, the words tumbling out. "But Alex says we can't because we're obliged by the state to go back to Baltimore and finish the final month of our assessment at home before we can finish the adoption process."

Kyle looked appropriately dismayed and distressed. "Shit, I'm so sorry to hear that, bro. I know how much Blink means to you."

That was an understatement. Everyone knew how much Blink meant to me. They were my idols. They were the reason that I'd harrased Alex to start a band with me. We were all joined by our mutual love of Blink. I remembered the first time we'd covered All The Small Things. We'd all sat down and pretty much cried after. Tears welled up in my eyes.

"I just wish it was easier to be a parent and still do what you love," I said miserably. "I love the girls, but sometimes ... I just wish that maybe they were a bit older, it'd be easier that way. Or that we'd found them in a few more years. I'm sure one day we're going to have to give this up and that's going to be the hardest thing I've ever done in my life."

Kyle moved closer, patting my hand. "You know, Jack, no one is forcing you to stay."

I shook my head at Kyle and downed the rest of the Coke. I ran a hand through my hair. It was getting pretty damn hot out here. "You don't get it, Kyyy. They depend on me. They need me. I can't just walk away from that."

Kyle smiled at me, a sad smile. "You're right, I don't get it. But I hope one day I will."

"Course you will, silly," I said, waving a hand at him. My hand felt like it weighed a million pounds and my lips were really dry all of a sudden. "Can I have another Coke? It's really hot out here."

Kyle popped the cover off and handed me another bottle. I drained that one in less than two minutes. I watched a fly buzzing over my head. I suddenly found myself wishing that I was a fly. They didn't care what people thought about them, they had no responsiblities, and they were free.

"I wish I was a fly," I said, and then giggled as if I'd said the most hilarious thing in the world. "If I were a fly, I could fly. Fly, fly away."

Kyle looked at me with what appeared to be concern. "Are you feeling okay, Jack?"

Now that he mentioned it, I realized that I felt good. Great, even. "I'm good. I'm great. I'm fantastic, Kyky. It's all because of you. I owe it all to youuuuuuoooooooo." I said in a sing song voice.

I attempted to get to my feet, but all of a sudden, everything spun and I saw rapidly back down, rolling onto my back. Kyle had disappeared, and I started to look for him.

"Kyle? KYLEEE. Don't hide from me, Ky. I wasn't done talking to you. And where's the drinks? I thirsty."

"I think you've had enough, Jack." This voice wasn't Kyle's and it was laced with disgust. I looked up see Alex standing over me with the girls.

"Alex!" I squealed, and attempted to get to my feet once again. It didn't work, and I sank back down to my knees. The girls looked at me, fright in their eyes.

"Come here, Sammie," I called, but she hid her face in Alex's legs. I crawled forward, and Alex took a few steps back.

"That's enough, Jack. I can't believe you went and got drunk. What were you thinking? You disgust me." He picked up Sammie in one arm and Gabby in another.

"I'm not drunk," I protested. "I wouldn't do that, baby. I need to babysit our precious jewels."

Alex glared at me. "No thanks. How can I expect you to take care of the girls when you can't even take care of yourself? Kyle offered to babysit. I think I'll take him up on his offer." He looked at me, his eyes hard. "Clean yourself up and sober up a little. We have a show in two hours, in case you forgot."

Kyle. Why did it seem like I should tell Alex something about Kyle? I tried to think and couldn't remember. I called out to Alex one more time but he didn't even turn around. I watched him walk away and tears welled in my eyes.

"Alex," I whimpered pathetically, but he didn't hear me. Kyle walked by then, following Alex onto our bus, and I dropped my head on my knees, hating life more and more.