The Big Empty

Shannon stared back at himself in the fogged up mirror. In a month he had changed so much. His scruff had turned into a full-grown beard. His eyes appeared to be sunken in and the green seemed to have disappeared and turned into a dull brown. As he looked down at the sink, Shannon took notice to his growing gut that looked even more swollen than the day before.

Shannon took his hand and wiped the mirror clean, hoping it would make his reflection appear to be a little more healthier. It was no use. He was at his worse and by the looks of things he would never get out of the slump he was in. As he brought his hand back down he stared at the bracelet that adorned his wrist. It was bright red with the glyphics in in white. Tears sprung to his eyes as he thought about his younger brother, Jared.

“I can’t believe it’s been one month, Jay.” His voice was but a whisper as he choked on his words.

What had happened to Jared was unfortunate. His life and many other lives were taken in a freak plane crash. According to the investigators, one of the engines had slipped off due to the extreme pressure that was caused by a storm the plane was moving through. If there had been any chance of survival it had vanished the moment the plane crashed into the ground and fire set it ablaze. They never recovered his body.

Due to that, Shannon still did not have any closure whatsoever. So he took it upon himself to drown himself in endless amounts of booze and many one-night stands. This posed as another problem. It would have been one thing if he was single, but he was married.

Kati and Shannon had been married a little over two years now. They had conveniently met at a 30 Seconds To Mars show in Baltimore, Maryland. After skyping for many months, she finally made the big move out to Los Angeles, California. They dated for about nine months before deciding to tie the knot. It wasn’t anything to big. Kati flew her immediate family over along with her best friend from West Virginia and they had a little ceremony on the beach. The then happy couple stood their sharing their vows, bare-footed, while Jared and Haley were giving each other sassy looks. Not long after that, they became a happy couple as well and eventually tied the knot much like Shannon and Kati. Things had been going as planned. They were touring for their new album, which was entitled Echelon. They had established a name for themselves along with families. Even though the only one with a child was Tomo and Vicki, Kati and Shannon had a house full of pets while Jared and Haley kept themselves busy with traveling when they weren’t touring.

But as most would guess, the death of Jared caused much heartache and a mess of other emotions. There was no more touring. There was no more 30 Seconds To Mars. Everybody felt like their world had come crashing down around them. While Tomo and Vicki took Haley in until she finally coped with her loss, Kati was dealing with an deranged version of her husband.

Shannon perked his head up as he heard the bathroom door creak open, “Shan, EMI is on the phone.” She bit her lip nervously, “I know you don’t like me answering your phone, but I assumed it was necessary.”

“It’s alright.” Kati handed her husband the phone. He mumbled a thanks and she slipped out into the hallway quietly.

EMI wanted to discuss future plans. The conversation ended in Shannon yelling about how their weren’t any future plans and the iPhone being shattered into a million little pieces as it hit the tiled floor.

Kati came rushing back to the bathroom to see a distressed Shannon sitting on the floor. The white towel was still draped around his waist but loosely and tears fell from his dark eyes. “Kati, I can’t do this. Everybody wants to know about the future of the band and I’m tired of telling them there isn’t a future.”

Kati cautiously slid down beside her husband knowing that he could snap on her at any moment. She was shocked by Shannon’s reaction. He quickly grabbed Kati and engulfed her tiny body in his strong arms and buried his face into the nape of her neck. She tried not to giggle as his beard tickled her sensitive skin. She busted out into tears as soon as she felt Shannon’s running down the front of her white tee-shirt.

Kati brought her arm around him and ran her fingertips down his bare back, “We’ll get through this.” She swallowed the lump in her throat, “God doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle.”

Shannon wasn’t a firm believer in God anymore. If anything he blamed this whole ordeal on God. It was God’s fault Jared was dead. It was God’s fault he had become an abusive husband and an alcoholic. Needless to say, this made Shannon snap quickly. Suddenly the tears stopped and his face turned as red as a tomato.

“Don’t talk about fucking God in this house every again. I don’t give a fuck about God and these…” He threw his arms in the air, “fucking obstacles he purposively gives us. God is a fucking asshole.”

Kati maneuvered away from her angry husband as quickly, but cautiously as she could. She put her arms out in front of her, “Calm down, please.” Her lips began to quiver and her heart began to race like many times before. “I’m sorry, Shan.”

Shannon stood up so he towered over Kati. He wanted to intimidate her. He wanted to scare her. It made him feel superior and that made his ego boost. “If you want to shove your new found religion in my face, you can just get the fuck out.”

Kati sprung to her feet and scattered out of the bathroom. Shannon slammed the bathroom door behind her, shaking the whole entire wall. He went back over to the sink and held his hands on the edge firmly. He began to bite his lip until it bled. Finally he faced himself in the mirror once more, “Jared, what have I become?”