What if...

The girls ended up having a little music session together. Finally bringing together the ideas that they’d been discussing for weeks. Annabel hosting due to her brilliant collection of equipment.
“You know I think that really started to sound good at the end,” Sarah said. Ignoring the mush they’d come out with at the beginning, once they’d sorted out the harmony it suddenly clicked really well.
“I actually quite enjoyed it,” said Isabel who ended up listening to it, because her drum track had been recorded at her house.
“Yeah, I think we fused quite well there ladies,” Annabel said with a grin.
“And I don’t think I’ve seen you this happy in a while,” Isabel said quite quietly to Sarah.
“Well I suppose I’ve just had my share of difficult social situations,” Sarah shrugged, still just enjoying the feel of a group of friends properly connecting.
“You mean bastard men?” Jacqueline added, “Been there.”
“Yeah, its really nice just to know you guys,” Sarah said to the group, “I’m really glad I met you.”
“You mean glad that you met Edmund on the train?” Jacqueline said with a smile. She’d only said it to show what she knew about her, and to try and feel as included - as it referred to a time when she was left out the group a bit. She didn’t understand how it pulled at Sarah’s insides to say something like that.
“Yeah,” Sarah said as convincingly as she could, “I suppose this is the good that came from that,” she surmised. What if she hadn’t met him? She wouldn’t have the friends that she had, but then she wouldn’t have had all the heartache that went with it. She also had to work hard to get her thoughts that far, because her instant reaction was that despite everything - her mind told her not to DARE even think about not knowing him. Even as a distant friend, that seemed to keep going off her...she still wanted to be his friend so much, even if that was all she’d ever be.
“Well here’s to avoiding men for a bit eh?” Annabel said, with a look to Sarah that said she was able to grasp Sarah’s undertone. This just made Sarah blush, it was one thing when Isabel knew, she always knew, but Annabel was another thing. Though considering how much time Annabel had spent helping Sarah, it wasn’t surprising that she was picking up on things.
“Here here,” Isabel said with a grin.
“And yes, how is Helen?” Jacqueline asked pointedly, though with a smile.
“Doing well thank you. We’ve announced the engagement to her parents, they still don’t think she’s gay, and we’re having a lot of fun deciding what dresses to wear on the big day,” Isabel reeled of with a confident smile. She’d proposed not too long ago, and had the box thrown at her (once Helen put on the ring) because Helen was pissed off that the ring was prettier than the one that she’d bought the previous day, and she wanted to be the one that proposed. As it was Isabel didn’t really like the one she’d bought Helen, but she knew that her fiancee would love it, and the same was true for the other ring which worked out nicely.
“Sometimes I think it would be easier to be gay,” Sarah thought, thinking of the girl she got on with at work. She’s probably have gone out with her, if her mind weren’t so set on being straight.
“Really?” Annabel asked, going back to her inability to see beyond the obvious and Hollywood in situations.
“Well I’m sure the conversations would end up being better,” Sarah began. Harry had been very annoying in the way that he’d turn them around, and make them all overly masculine. Even Sean had a habit of doing that, relating things to all his adventurous training, “And I actually seem to get positive attention from females. My best friend back at home used to take me to loads of gay bars and I think I ended up getting chatted up more than he did,” she explained. She wasn’t normally particularly good at spotting who’s gay and who’s not - but with Nathan she knew he was gay before he did.
“Well you did well last time you went on a night out...what was his name? Horace?” Jacqueline said rather mindlessly, thinking she was being helpful.
“Harry,” Sarah corrected, “And look how that turned out.”
“Wait, what did happen?” Jacqueline had been a little out of the loop after that, as Sarah didn’t really want to keep relieving it all. She felt too embarrassed.
“He went off with another guy,” Annabel said quietly, “Thinking that it didn’t count as cheating cos it was a guy not a girl.”
“So one of those ‘better off without’ stories’,” Sarah added, “Which doesn’t help that much. Still hurt.”
“Men for you,” Jacqueline shrugged, closing up the last box, “They can end up being mean even when they try to be nice.”
“Edmund?” Annabel asked, using her knowledge of the history of the group.
“What?” Sarah asked suddenly, ashamed at how she still jumped at the name.
“He and I broke up not too long before you appeared,” Jacqueline explained, and Sarah tried not to let it make her head spin. She knew this...but it was still hard to hear, she couldn’t help but notice Jacqueline’s shiny blond hair, her shapely figure. Sarah also scolded herself for thinking things along the ideas that at least she was more down to earth, and had more in common with him than Jacqueline.
“I dumped him,” Jacqueline continued as they started to head downstairs, “But...well I knew it was a mistake but he wouldn’t take me back. We got together for a bit again a couple of months ago, but he...well he’d been in that succession of meaningless relationships. I think his heart wasn’t really in it. He wanted a relationship, but not with me.”
Sarah had to try so hard not to react outwardly. She had no idea that he’d got back with her for a bit. Seriously? She tried to use the information to nail it in that it only proved how didn’t mean that much to him. She wasn’t of romantic interest. If she was he’d have been with her then, he’d have said yes...
“Seriously?” Isabel asked Jacqueline, apparently Sarah wasn’t the only one that didn’t know of Edmund and Jacqueline getting back together for a bit, “He is such an idiot. Why is it that people turn into the world’s biggest twats when relationships are concerned?”
It was then that she realised that he must have got with Jacqueline around the time that she’d first started to be with Harry. Was it a jealousy rebound thing?
“Besides,” Jacqueline said with a smile, “I have Dave now.”
Sarah also wished that her head wasn’t trying to believe that he did it out of jealousy of her being with Harry.
It was ridiculous.
And rather painful to think about.