Broken Sometimes;

Sky hadn’t left her room since Jack had brought her home from the hospital. She wouldn’t talk to him. She wouldn’t even acknowledge that he was standing in front of her, calling her name over and over. He had Alex come over and try to get her to talk too. It didn’t work.

Jack brought food into her room and set it on the nightstand, but she never touched it. He worried about her constantly. He was sure she wasn’t even moving from the bed at all. He didn’t even know what had happened to make her do this, but it made him sick. If he thought about it hard enough, he knew it had something to do with the baby, and if her reaction was this awful, the news probably wasn’t any better.

Alex started spending the night, sleeping on the couch just in case she came around. He and Jack walked around the house like zombies themselves trying to find a solution. It wasn’t until Jack sat down and started looking through some older pictures of Sky with their group of friends that it finally hit him.

He wasn’t positive it would work. He ran the idea by Alex first, to get another opinion. Alex agreed instantly.

“You really think we should do this?”

“She’s in there practically dying, Jack. This is like the one shot we’ve got left.”

“What if it sends her off the deep end though? She’s so fragile. Doing this could upset her more and then God knows what’ll happen.”

“Dude, she’s not going to make it through this unless somebody snaps her out of this daze. She’s not responding to either one of us, but she’ll respond to him. She has to.”

“I’m scared we’re going to lose her.”

“Call him.”

Jack finally nodded and dialed the number on his cell phone. He held it to his ear and counted the rings. Alex watched him nervously. Jack sighed as the call went to voicemail, but he wasn’t giving up that easy. He called again and thankfully this time he got an answer. He didn’t give away any details, just stated that it was an emergency and that he needed him immediately.

Both boys breathed with some relief as they watched the black car pull into Jack’s driveway. The dark-haired boy got out of the car and jogged to the front door. He was in a slight panic but he was mostly nervous about running into Sky. He didn’t want another fiasco, but he figured Jack’s comments were desperate enough to risk it.

“Thank God you’re here.”

“Why the hell am I here, Jack? And why’s Alex here? You said emergency Jack. Remember when we talked about what gets classified as an emergency?”

“This is pretty serious.”

“What’s serious, Alex?”

“It’s Sky.”

“In that case, I should have been the last per—,”

“Just shut the hell up and listen to me, Matt! Okay? Good. Five days ago, Sky called me. She called me from the hospital. I don’t know why the fuck she was there or what the fuck happened. She looked real beat up, but she won’t talk about it. She won’t talk period. I’ve tried. Alex has tried. She won’t even eat, dammit! She’s just lying in the bed, staring at nothing.”

“We need you to go in there, Matt. You’re the only one who can make her better. You’ve got to at least try.”

Matt thought the words of the two boys over. He wanted to argue. He wanted to deny the fact that he was the ‘only’ person. He wanted to leave. No matter how much he wanted those things though, he couldn’t do them. He still loved Sky. He was starting to understand that he always would, at least love a piece of her. It took a few moments before he could swallow his fear and nod toward Jack and Alex.

He didn’t need any help finding the room she was in. It was Jack’s guest bedroom that he’d stayed in more times than anyone could count when he was drunk. The door was already creaked open a bit. He sighed before he pushed it open more and took one step in. He flinched automatically.

He expected her to start cursing him at the top of her lungs or throwing something heavy toward him. It was what he was used to when he was within the same room as her. But it didn’t happen. After a few seconds, his body relaxed and he looked at her.

She was lying in the bed, her body on top of the covers. Her head was on the edge of the pillow and her dark hair was stretched out beside it. She seemed obviously smaller from the last time he’d gotten a glimpse of her. He frowned as he took another step toward the bed and watched as she didn’t even move. He couldn’t even really tell if her chest was rising or falling. She just looked dead.

“Sky?”

He figured his voice might trigger the anger, but it didn’t. She laid there still and lifeless. He slowly moved around the bed, stopping when he was standing in front of her. Her eyes were open and her blues were staring at him. The problem was, they weren’t seeing him. Her blues looked just as lifeless and just as dead as her body. It gave him chills.

“Sky? It’s Matt.”

Nothing. She did absolutely nothing. He couldn’t believe it. He’d never seen her like this. He had been there when she was depressed, when she was hyper and excited, when she was heartbroken and sad, when she was lonely and needy, when she was strong and bold. He had known Sky Lane almost his entire life but he had never seen her like this.

“Sky.”

He knelt down in front of her and bit his bottom lip as he outstretched his hand toward her. Her skin was just as soft as he remembered. He cupped her cheek gently and stared into those blues, trying to find something, anything. She blinked. His hopes soared as he leaned forward. She blinked again.

“Mattie?”

Her voice croaked. Her eyes started to water. It was like the barrier around her had finally fallen. He watched as the water quickly overflowed in her blues and ran down her cheeks. It was like he’d broken her with just his simple touch. When her eyes closed again and her body shook from the sob, he couldn’t take it.

Matt got onto the bed without really thinking about it. He put his arms around the small girl and pulled her close to him. He was surprised when she embraced him back, but he really shouldn’t have been. He could practically feel how hurt she was as she sobbed into his chest. All he could do was hold her. He wanted to say words that would comfort her but he knew things were way pass that. So he just held her. He held her tight.

Eventually she cried herself to sleep. He sighed and let his fingers run through her hair. It had been a long time since he’d been this close to her, and though he hadn’t told anyone, he’d missed it. He missed talking to her, really talking to her, and listening to her. All they did now was argue and fight and glare at each other. He missed being able to stand beside her and just laugh with her.

Jack and Alex left them alone. Matt fell asleep for a bit too. When he woke up, she was watching him. She was lying on her side, her head propped up on her hand. Her cheeks were pink and she sniffled every few minutes. He frowned, wondering if she was going to go back to the silent treatment so quickly. He cleared his throat.

“Sky?

She bit her bottom lip and dropped her blues to the blankets. He sat up some in the bed, resting his back against the headboard. He ruffled his hair and sighed again, glancing at her. The silence just seemed to stretch out between them. He hated it.

“Do you want me to leave then?”

She bit her bottom lip harder and shook her head. He was too taken aback to say anything after that. She scooted over toward him and rested her head on his chest carefully. He was even more shocked at the contact. He slowly put his arms around her again, feeling like he was in some kind weird dream. He hesitated.

“What happened, Sky?”

She didn’t respond at first. He didn’t think she was going to respond at all. But then the slight sigh puffed out of her lips and she turned so she was lying on her back, staring at the ceiling.

“Jack dropped me off after dinner the other night. Tristan was already at the apartment. He thought the worst and … we got into an argument.”

“God Sky, please don’t tell me he put you in the hospital.”

His stomach turned. He covered his face with his hands. She started to tear up again as she remembered the hospital, the doctors, the nurses, the needles, the tests, everything. Her voice started to waiver as she continued.

“He was spaced out, you know? I could tell soon as I heard him. I knew he was strung out but I didn’t leave. A part of me has always been afraid of him. He gets so possessive and protective sometimes. But … I never …”

“Sky. Look at me. Tell me he didn’t.”

“He did, Mattie.”

She broke down crying again. She tried to wipe her cheeks and stop the needless boo-hoo-ing but it was useless. Matt tensed and closed his eyes. He couldn’t stand thinking about Tristan being all over her, but this was a whole different ball game. This wasn’t some other guy touching her or kissing her. This was somehow worse.

“I – I got to the hospital. Our neighbor drove m—me. It hur–hurt so bad, Mattie. G—God, i—it hu—hurt.”

Her hands instinctively went to her stomach. That was when Matt snapped out of it. He was angry beyond his limit, but he had to ignore that for now. Sky lay beside him, crying her eyes out. She desperately needed him.

Matt slouched down again and hugged her. He buried his face in her neck and pulled her so that she was lying on top of him. This forced her to bury her head in his neck also in return, which she gladly did. She had her arms under his shoulders as she clung to him. He rubbed her back softly and waited until she’d calmed down again.

She slowly lifted herself up, so that she was hovering over him. Her blues were bloodshot. Her mouth was in a pout with the corners pulling downward. She looked so sad and he felt so awful as the words came out.

“I lost him, Matt. I lost the baby.”

He wished it wasn’t true. As much as he didn’t want her to have that other guy’s kid, he wanted her to be happy more and that baby made her happy. He stared at her. He watched a few more tears trickle down her cheeks as she smiled sadly.

“The one thing that was holding me together, I lost.”

She fell back down on him. She held onto him, though not as tightly as before, and rested her head on his shoulder. She kept her eyes closed as she focused on breathing. It was hard with the way her chest ached, but it was easier now with Matt near her.

“I’m so sorry, Sky. I know that doesn’t even cover it, but, Jesus, I am sorry.”

“I don’t know what to do, Mattie.”

“You’ll get through this. I do know that. You’re strong, Sky. You’re the strongest, brightest woman I’ve ever met. You can carry on.”

“And you’re an amazing guy, Matt. I missed you.”

“I missed you even more, Sky.”

“You know, I hadn’t told anybody, but I picked a name out.”

He sighed. He was still trying to wrap his head around how someone so honest and kind could have something so horrible happen. He really didn’t want to hear anymore. His heart was already breaking for her. His heart was breaking period at this point. He could only imagine the pure heartbreak she had.

“I was going to name him James Matthew Lane. I … I wanted him to have someone to look up to. A good guy, you know?”

She sniffled and exhaled. It didn’t really matter anymore. The baby was gone. She had to keep reminding herself of that. Her baby was gone.

“Sky …”

He couldn’t think of what to say at first, but then it hit him. He knew his words couldn’t fix things, but they were what she needed at this point.

“I love you, Sky. I love you so much.”

It was true. It had been true for a very long time. He just never had the guts to say it. She listened to his heart beat as she replayed the simple words over and over. He was right. It couldn’t fix things; nothing could fix what had happened. But it helped.

Sky didn’t feel so alone anymore. The emptiness that had been swallowing her whole for days slowly subsided. She was always going to miss the future she almost had, but she was also going to carry on.

“I love you too, Matt. I always have.”