So Keep Your Hands on Your Chest and Sing With Me, That We Don't Wanna Believe

‘Yeah none of us do actually.’

As soon as those words left Dan’s mouth, I silently stormed out of mall, not bothering to look back. I figured that the girls would join me soon enough as I waited in the car, and there was no way in hell I was offering ANY of the boys a lift back to the house. As far as I was concerned, they could walk back to their hotel. And get hit by some run away trains as well. And then mauled by some dogs. Eaten by crows and turned into bird crap.
The car ride home from the acoustic set was silent. Each of us was mulling over what had just happened. I could not BELIEVE I fell for such an asshole. I had really thought he was going to be a keeper. I was foolishly stupid and fell for the pretty English boy, with the strong jaw line and the cute accent. I thought that I had better judgement of character but obviously not.
Obviously I didn’t expect us to run away and get married. Nor, really did I expect for him to want to continue what ever it was we had but I kinda thought I deserved somewhat of an explanation or discussion on the topic. I certainly did not expect to find out they way I did. I had become just another girl Dan had on tour. What a fun story that would be to tell the grandkids.
When we arrived home, each of us headed for our rooms, still attempting to process the fact that all four of us had stupidly wasted the last couple of weeks of our lives. As I reached my room, I shut the door, perhaps a bit too loudly and collapsed face first on my bed. I hated that I let someone get to me like this and the fact that it was a guy, made it ten times worse. Clenching my quilt in my hands as I balled them into fists I groaned into my pillow, refusing to let the tears fall. With deep breaths, I managed to keep them in.
What ever. I was done. Done. Done. Done. If Dan came to see me, matter fact if I ever saw any of them again, I would completely ignore them. As far as I was concerned, they were no one worth my time.
I sighed - a bad idea. As I breathed in through my nose, I inhaled Dan’s intoxicating smell left on my sheets. There was nothing that could stop the tears now. I fell asleep.

I woke up to knocking on my door.
‘I swear to god if that is one of you fucking Englishmen I will come out there and rip all your balls off and hang them on the line for the birds to eat and make you watch.’ I said into my pillow, loud enough for who ever it was to hear.
‘No, it is Trixie, just wondering if you are okay or of you needed anything’ Trixie replied softly.
‘uhh oh, ya I’m splendid, never better. Im gonna come and get food.’
Food. That was what I needed. A good feast. I was done with guys. Done. Done. Done. All I needed was food.

I walked out my room, not even bothering to look at myself in the mirror. I knew I looked horrid. When ever I cried my eyes swelled up and became bloodshot. My short hair was probably sticking up at all angles. To be honest, I probably looked nothing short of Lucifer. Sigh.

I meandered down the stairs and looked into the cupboard. BBQ bacon and honey flavoured chips. That was what I needed. Not guys. Chips.
I was stuffing my face with chips when someone knocked at the door followed by arguing. Grumbling to myself I opened up the door and was met with two faces I certainly did not want to see. I was about to slam the door on Josh and Dan’s faces but I was stopped by Josh’s hand against the door.
‘Stef, let us in….’
‘And I would do that because?’
‘I want to talk to Grace, I w-’
‘You know what Josh, I don’t give a RATS ASS what you want. Your opinion does NOT matter to me, nor to anyone in this house and nor will it ever again. You- NO DAN SHUT UP I WILL DEAL WITH YOU LATER-’ I practically yelled, putting a finger on his mouth. ‘You completely and utterly SMASHED Grace so really you should just go home and never contact us again.’ I looked around, as I was yelling at them at the front door, to see if anyone was watching. No one except two pastey white boys in a white rental bus. Breathing in deeply, I shut the door behind me and walked to the bus. I opened the roller door and motioned for Dan and Josh to get in and leave.
I stepped in front of the door and peered in, seeing a sad looking Max and Matt.
‘You know what Max, I really liked you. Riannon had not been that happy in so long. And Matt, I just- no you know what, you are not even worth my words’
As they reached the bus, Josh got straight in, looking at his feet. Dan on the other hand, lingered on at the door.
‘Dan I do not really give a shit what you have to say either. I though perhaps, you know, I may mean something to you, because you defiantly mean something to me. I FRIGGEN SHARED MY FOOD WITH YOU OKAY.’ I yelled, throwing chips at him. ‘MY FOOD.’ More chips. ‘MINE.’ More chips ‘AND MY BED.’ And some more chips. ‘TWO THINGS IN MY LIFE I GIVE TO NO-ONE AND IT WAS WASTED ON YOU!’ My eyes began to well up and tears rolled down my cheeks.
‘ I don’t even CARE what the circumstances are, if I see any of you again near Riannon, Grace or Trixie, you will regret the day you were born. ‘
‘We are rea-‘ Max started.
‘Just go. Have a good tour boys, ya fuckers’ And with that, I slammed their bus door and with not a single glance behind me, I walked back inside and up to my room, collapsing on my bed once again.