So Far Away

I just stared down at the floor, having my chin resting on my chin and my arm wrapped around my legs. He wasn't coming back. A few tears escape my eyes. Why did it have to be him? Why couldn't it be someone else. I felt a hand on my arm, but I flicked it back, returning to my normal state. The person did it again and again, but he always got the same result. I then felt him sit next to me and slightly intertwine his fingers with mine. I held on to them tightly, so they wouldn't slip. I felt another figure sit down next to me and pull his fingers with mine. I sniffed away my snot that was coming down my nose and wiped the rest away. I felt someone infrount of me and look up to see a tissue hanging in the air. I grabbed it and blew my nose.

"Thanks." The figure nodded and walked away from my eye-of-sight.

I finally lift my head and wiped my tears away to see Matt and Val on the couch across from me. He was holding her tightly as she let tears fall down her face, letting out all her sadness. I knew how she felt. Val and I were Jimmy's female best friends. I then darted my eyes to the couple next to them to see Brian and Michelle. He was also holding her tightly as she cried. She wasn't as close to Jimmy, but knew him well enough. If Brian and Matt were holding their girls, who was holding me? I turned my head to the right to to Mr. Johnny Christ who was texting on his phone. Probably Lacey. I then turned my head all the way left to see Zacky Vengeance, who was still holding onto my hand, giving it a little squeeze here and there to try and reassure me. It was slightly working. I scoot next to him and place my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes for a few seconds before reopening them.

I hear the waiting room door open and quickly lift my head from Zacky's shoulder to see a nurse looking down at the clip-board she had in her hands.

"Mr. Sanders and Ms. Rose?" She asked lifting her head to look around to room.

"Yeah/Yes?" Matt and I said in unison. I quickly glanced at him, then returned my gaze at the nurse.

"Can you come with me please?"

Matt got up from the couch, giving Val a long-quick kiss on the lips before heading towards the door. I quickly give Zacky and Johnny a peck on the cheek and got up from my sit, slipping my feet into my vans and followed the nurse and Matt out the door.

The nurse, (who was named Abby) lead us down the hallway and came to a stop by a black door with a small window. She gestured to the door, telling us to look in. I went and leaned on the door, letting my eyes peep into the room. I saw Jimmy's body lying on the bed. Lifeless, no movement whatsoever. I let at a sigh, my eyes stinging. I backed away, letting my back come up against Matt's chest.

"We've determined his death of natural causes. I'm very sorry for your loss." She said with a sad look on her face. I'm probably not the first one she's seen crying over a loved one. She looked down at her clipboard, before looking back up again.

"Would you like it if an autopsy was preformed? To see if anything was out of the ordinary?" She asked.

All I could do was nod my head.

She smiled. "Very well. It could take a few weeks. We'll call once the results come in."

"Thank you."

Nurse Abby walked away from us, giving me and Matt a little time to ourselves to sort out our thoughts. I turned myself around, wrapping my arms around his torso, crying into his chest. I quickly told him I didn't feel like walking. My body felt like jello. He carefully picked me up bridal style and carried me back to the waiting room.

After we entered to room, Matt set me on the couch, between Zacky and Johnny and whispered something in to Zack's ear before returning to his sit where Val was.

"Whats the conclusion?" I heard Brain ask.

"They said it was of natural causes. But Sammy here, requested an autopsy to be done." Matt replied, gesturing to me.

I felt 5 to 6 pairs of eyes staring at me. I look up to see Brian with a sad look.

"You want my honest opinion?" He asked.

I didn't say anything.

"You're scared. I may not know how to cheer you up like Jimmy could, but I know he wouldn't want to to be sad. So how about this. We all head back to my place and throw this barbeque in Jimmy honor?"

I heard whispers and voices all at once. And once the one minute was past I heard a few yes's and yeah's. Everyone got up from their sits and headed towards the door. No one was in the room now, except for me and Zacky. I hugged him tightly as I let the tears once again escape my blue eyes. He hugged me back and slowly picked me up, and walked slowly out of the waiting room.

Once of of the hospital, I felt the cold wind hit my face. It was almost like Jimmy was trying to dry up all of my tears. I smiled and and look up at the sky. I felt Jimmy was smiling back down at me.

"He's up there. Smiling down at me. On all of us."

I see Zacky with a smiling crossing his lips from the corner of my eye.

"I know. I've known this whole time." He replied.

He was there, watching over us. Jimmy was never going to stop watching us. Not now, not ever. I felt the hole in my heart was starting to heal, slowly but surely. Jimmy was forever here and always. He wasn't going to leave any time soon. I could feel it.

Jimmy will be watching foREVer.