Broken

Jack waited patiently for his friend Alex to finish whatever he was doing, he always went into the bathroom and didn’t come out for an hour or so and Jack always stood there and simply waited for his best friend to come out of the school stalls that were often used for bully victims heads to be pushed into.

“Come on, Alex…” Jack mumbled now getting slightly impatient, causing his fingers to tap easily over his skinny jean clad thigh. What is he doing in there?

As if on cue Alex walked out looking considerably paler than he had done when he had gone into the bathroom, telling Jack to ‘please don’t come in’, he looked serious so Jack had nodded like he did everyday and stood by the lockers waiting for his best friend to come out of the bathroom always looking whiter than before.

“Ready,” his voice was quiet as he held his arms against his flannel shirt with a little half smile at Jack to persuade him to move from the lockers and walk him home like he always did, he guessed it was a schedule now anyway. Let Alex be in the bathroom then walk him home, everyday.

“Yeah…” Jack said lightly, shoving his hand into his back pocket before taking Alex’s hand lightly in his, it’s not like he was gay… he just liked giving Alex special attention, it always somehow made Alex do his little smile.
~
Jack gave Alex a little hug as he dropped his friend back to his own house, he never liked dropping Alex off – he wanted him for his own. Alex never looked particularly happy to be going home either but Jack never dared to question his friend who would go inside and close the door almost instantly.
~
It was the next day which confused Jack, Alex wasn’t there. It may be normal for most people when their friends aren’t at school for being ill or something like that but it was weird for Jack not to be with Alex. Alex never had days off of school, ever.

Jack was sitting in English, one hand lazily writing down the words from the board while his head zoomed with reasons why his best friend wasn’t here.

1) sick
2) skiving
3) holiday
4) hospital appointment

But Jack didn’t really think it was any of those things, not at all. Alex never got sick, he would cough sometimes but he would never physically have a day from school – a scholarship was too important to miss school is what he always said to Jack who would skive and skip most lessons that he found ‘shit’ or ‘boring’.

Alex didn’t skive either, why would he want to ruin any opportunity to get into college? Alex was the good boy, not that there is anything wrong with that but Jack still found it weird that a boy /his age/ wouldn’t want to skip, not even once in his life at school.

Alex’s family never went on holiday, it was a waste of time and they didn’t see the point of getting burnt and having to go to the doctors. And if it was a holiday, Jack would know about it.

Jack wasn’t even sure /why/ he would have a hospital appointment so he crossed it off.

~
It was the same the next day, and it was starting to annoy the younger boy that his supposed best friend wouldn’t even call him to tell him what was going on and why he hadn’t been at school for two days in a row, it bugged him mainly.
~
Three weeks.

Three weeks seen Jack had seen Alex, and he was losing it. He /had/ to see his best friend, he didn’t care if it wasn’t the same for Alex but he had to hold him to kiss his soft hair again, he had to say he loved his lexy, he missed him so fucking much.

Jack was standing at Alex’s door as he rapped his knuckled over the hard wood with a frown as he waited for over five minutes for someone to open the door. He fucking /prayed/ the door would fly open to see a grinning Alex – but that didn’t happen.

Jack let his dark eyes glance around before seeing a letter pushed under the straw mat, he was curious so he picked it up.

Dear Mr and Mrs Gaskarth,

We are writing to tell you that your son has been put into intensive care; he has lost an awful lot of blood from his arm and has several bruises against his chest and legs. We are worried to say that he might have some brain damage after being blown in the head with a large object, we will write back as soon as we know what is going to happen.

sincerely,
Baltimore Hospital.

Jack had frowned as he read the letter, and it became apparent to him what Alex did in the bathroom, everyday that took an hour. It was now clear to him why he didn’t want to come back to his own home again, because of (what Jack figured) his father or mother were hurting him in an un-healthy fashion.

Jack swallowed the lump in his throat, before crumpling the letter in his fingers and letting out a loud groan, he started to run. Sprinting to the hospital. His lungs were on fire by the time he was standing at the reception, hands on the desk. He had to see Alex.

“Alex… Alex Gaskarth…please…” he panted, pushing his dark bangs from his face.

“Intensive care, room 313,” said the lady calmly.

Jack nodded a thank you before walking to the stairs and running down to the intensive care room. Those two words scared the hell out of him; he physically couldn’t breathe as he saw his best friend lying in a bed with tubes all over his body.

Jack walked into the room and sat on the chair, taking his best friend’s frail looking hand into his hands. He stared down to his best friend with worry clouding his eyes. That’s when he noticed the hundreds of neat rows laid out on his arms, when he noticed the purple bruises on the right arm.

“I’m so fucking sorry, Lex…” he whispered giving his hand a little kiss, with a slight frown.
Alex looked to him then with misty brown eyes, he shook his head a little “N-no… I-I’m s-so-sorry,” he stuttered out with a slight frown “I-I lo-love yo-u, Ja-Jacky…”

“I love you too, Lex…” he mumbled, pressing a little kiss onto his friends white lips.

“Thank you.”

That was when Jack heard those awful tell tale beeps coming from the heart monitor, that’s when he started to cry out loud, letting his tears fall rapidly down his greying cheeks. His face had lost all colour, he had just lost his world.
~
Alex’s funeral was awful, there were so many memories and it made Jack cry more than he thought was humanly possible.

Jack was given a letter near the end of the funeral, it had Alex’s scrawl on and a little love heart by his name, Jack sucked in a breath and opened the envelope.

I want to say thank you, Jack, you have been the most amazing friend that I have ever been lucky enough to have. I know it wasn’t right of me to leave you here on this horrible earth, it was so unbearable though, Jack, I couldn’t take it.
I
remember you would wait by the lockers while I sat in that old cubicle slicing up my skin; I was always scared that you would come in and see me. I didn’t want to disappoint you, Jack.

I remember you always held my hand so tightly when we walked home, I guess you knew how happy that made me. You were the sunshine in my world Jack.
You made everything worthwhile, I’m going to miss you and probably haunt the hell out of you. Sorry – no time for jokes, really.

I remember how we hated each other when we met, you lost your big eyebrow status to some weird English kid who had moved over to steal your crown, but then again we were kids. We did become best friends though, when we went to high school we were glued by the hip. I’m going to miss that.

I went how my brother did, and for the same reasons. My parents beat him, and he couldn’t handle it so he committed suicide. When he was gone they turned to me, I couldn’t tell you, Jack.

I want you to know that I am always going to love you, and you’re the greatest person in the world for always being there. I love you. So much.
So much love,
Your Lexy xxx

Jack lost it then.

“I miss you.”