To Love And Back.

“I’m so not looking forward for the first day of classes” Rebecca said as we were both going to bed that Friday night “thank God, at least tomorrow we are going to the Homecoming party at the Theta Chi house. I can’t wait to meet some new hot guy”

“I kind of miss the times you just talked about Alex, you know?”

“I hardly doubt that”

“I was being serious – it seems yesterday I was the one not looking for a relationship and you were the one all eyes for your boyfriend”

“Things change”

“I can see that”

“Now you’re the one in love who trusts her boyfriend so much and thinks he will never cheat on her, while I’m the one who just wants sex from guys. It’s like we switched roles”

Since when Rebecca broke up with Alex, she became a little annoying. All she did was complaining about every guy on earth, and every time she reminded me how cool it was to be single, how cool it was being alone, how stupid she was in trusting a guy. Basically, she was becoming the new Andy of the situation, that girl who didn’t believe in love and didn’t want to fall in love because she was afraid of being hurt. Rebecca was not helping me, but she didn’t know it.
I didn’t tell her about anything involving the last weeks with John and the new blonde mess who was trying to get between us. I already knew was she would have said, especially now she was always repeating that guys always cheat on their girlfriends and such.
That really didn’t help me. All I did was having nightmares which involved John telling me he loved Erin more than ever. All I did was being awake every night, because of that.
I didn’t want to lose John, now and never.

It’s weird how things can change in less than one year.

“Can you come here a little earlier? I need to talk to you”

As soon as I read John’s text that morning, I felt my hands shaking and my heart pounding in my throat. I tried not to rush my thoughts, but all I thought was something bad.
I couldn’t wait to know what he had to tell me, so I went there very early, like four hours before the party started, bringing my clothes with me for any evenience.
I entered the Theta Chi house and all I saw was guys running back and forth in front of me to settle the whole party. I spotted Kennedy giving orders to Garrett who was hanging banners on the walls, and thinking Tyson wasn’t there anymore made me a little sad. Everything was different.
I walked upstairs and knocked on John’s room’s door, but I didn’t even wait him to tell me to get in, that I did it anyway. There he was: shirtless, sat on his bed, playing with his X-box 360 like a kid, yelling at the screen. I laughed at him, that just then noticed me.

“Hey, here you are!” he immediately switched the console off, getting closer to me to give me a kiss. I smiled at him and got even closer to get another one.
Having his shirtless chest that close, and having a bed not that far either, made me think to all the times I stayed the night in that room. It was living it al lover again, but this time it was better.

“Did you want me to talk about something, right?”

“Yes, exactly. It’s nothing very important, but I think you should be informed before you see it by yourself tonight”

“Do I need to sit down?”

He shook his head “nah...it’s nothing really important, but I think it’s better if I tell you personally before you get mad at me for not telling you”

“You’re making me anxious”

He laughed nervously “Erin is going to be at the party tonight”.

That news left me speechless. Not that I didn’t think it would have may be happened; I was just hoping I was wrong.

“So you’re saying that basically you didn’t talk to her about your friendship or whatever that is”
at that point I became nervous and I started acting cold.

“I didn’t have the chance”

“You fucking live next door!” I yelled “I think I’m not coming to the party anymore” I took my bags and made my way to the door but he walked behind me asking me to stop. I sighed and didn’t look him in the eyes. I just couldn’t.

“Please, Andy, come on, don’t overreact” at that point, that’s what I did. Overreacting. I let it all out and told him everything I thought, facing him like I never did before.

“I’m sorry, I just can’t” I then looked into his green eyes “I trusted you. You promised me you would have talked to her and you still didn’t. And you’re saying I’m overreacting? You promised me you would have never hurt me, you remember? Well, that’s not what I mean when I tell people I wouldn’t hurt them. If you didn’t find just a minute to tell her she needs to stop trying to get in your pants it’s probably because you would love to let her do it, and believe me it’s totally fine to me as long as you have the guts to tell me the truth instead of lying behind my fucking back”
I tried to be as strong and calm as possible, but it would have taken a second to let tears falling down on my face. I was too weak when he was involved, and that’s what I really didn’t want to happen. At that point all the promises he made to me seemed vain.

“It’s not that easy Andy”

“Then why didn’t you tell me from the start? That’s what I’ve been asking you the whole time: honesty! You always tell me how much important I am, that she’s nothing to you but you’re seriously not showing this! If that’s not easy why didn’t you tell me before?!”

“Andy everything I told you about us is true and I really swear to God! But I know Erin since she’s born and I really can’t quit her like that! She’s a friend after all! I can’t find the words to tell her we need to stop seeing each others, I would say it’s something easy to do but it’s really not! I tried tons of times to tell her, believe me, but I never did it. You’re right about everything, I’m an asshole. You need to give me some time before I find the right way and time to talk to her. But I promise, at that time she will never get between us anymore. Trust me babe” he tried to step further, getting closer, asking me to look at him, but I didn’t dare to do it.
I knew that if I would have done it, he would have won again.

“John, I’m sorry” he understood this wasn’t like the other arguements we had, and that I was serious. He stepped back and led me open the door to go out. We didn’t say anything else.

I felt terribly frustrated and sad, but most of all I was angry. I couldn’t say I was mad at John because as much as I felt hurt and he was the cause of my inner pain, the biggest mistake was mine. I led him do that to me. I was the first responsible to be mad at.
I got back to my house and fortunately Rebecca wasn’t around: I couldn’t stand her questions right there and then. The only thing that would have helped me to calm down was a good run, so I got changed and I started walking faster and faster until I found myself running.
It was impossible to not think about John, and as much as I hated arguing with him, in the past weeks it seemed the order of the day. As soon as something Erin-related came into the conversation, I started freaking out. I reckon I wasn’t being a good girlfriend, I reckon I was being too jealous, but still, I felt like she was a threat and I was just defending the most important thing I had in my life.
I kept on running until I didn’t feel out of breath, so I walked back. Entering my bedroom I had a surprise waiting for me. I don’t know if at that point I felt good or bad about it.

“What are you doing here?” I said closing the door behind me. I really didn’t expect him to be there. Sometimes he really was unpredictable. There he sat, on my bed, looking gorgeous as always.

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“Isn’t there a party where you should be at right now?”

He stood up and started wandering around the room “Oh please stop being so cold”

“John if you’re here to argue again, be my guest”

“I’m not here to argue”

“Good. Then again, why are you here?” I didn’t dare to look at him again, so I opened my wardrobe to find some clothes. I felt his presence behind me after some seconds.

“If you’re not going to the party, neither am I” I laughed nervously

“What? Why not? It’s your house, it’s your party. You need to be there. Besides, there’s some girl waiting for you there. I wouldn’t ever disappointer her”

“Come on Andy stop being so childish” I sighed and pretended I didn’t listen “I know you’re right, I’m sorry, how many times do I have to tell you?”

“I don’t want you to tell me you’re sorry”

“Then what do you want?”

“Apparently something you can’t do”

He puffed “You’re being unfair”

“So are you” he sighed and asked me to turn and face him. I was scared to do it. I knew that I didn’t have power against him. I was under a spell, like he got me hypnotized everytime I looked into his beautiful green eyes.

“Please Andy, look at me” I did it and I regretted it immediately “I’m not going anywhere tonight if you’re not coming with me”

“I don’t want you to stay here with me just because you think I didn’t allow you to go”

“It’s not like that, I know it. I’m not going because it’s pointless to be there without you” I nodded “please give me some time to figure out how to tell her, but I promise you and this time I mean it, when I’ll do it she will be out of our lives forever” he got closer to me and took my hands “Andy I love you too much to lose you for something like this” I sighed deeply and nodded again

“Ok” he smiled and hugged me. I felt his heart beating fast and it was then that I believed him for sure. I inhaled his scent and hugged him tightly. I really didn’t want to lose him either.
He kissed my hair and then his lips went down to kiss my cheek and find the corner of my mouth. He left there a quick pick, until I was the one to kiss him properly. I felt his tongue searching for mine and so I let myself go completely. I led my hands slip under his shirt, touching his bare chest, until they touched his belt. I looked into his eyes for a moment, like I was asking for permission.
John kissed me again but then stopped.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Did you just go for a run?” I nodded “I can smell it”

“you don’t! I never stink!”

“You think? I wouldn’t say that. Besides, you’re sweating, that’s gross”

“That’s bullshit”

“You always tell me I can’t kiss you if I have morning breath, well now I tell you we’re not going to have sex until you don’t have a shower” I puffed, making him laugh “come on tiger, go get a shower, I’ll be waiting for you right here” he lyed down on my bed and looked at me “still here?”

I took some random clothes from my wardrobe and I went out the room to the showers us sisters had in common. I had that damn shower as fast as possible, just to go back to John with just a towel around my body. My hair were still wet and as soon as I entered the room and John saw me, it didn’t take him long to get to kiss me and make me his.

“So, are we going to the party or not?” I asked while we were cuddling under the blankets “I need to keep an eye on Rebecca”

“I thought you didn’t want to go”

“Well I’m not that happy to know Erin is going to be there actually, but I know you want to go and it’s not right if you stay here just because I do. Let’s say I will keep both my eyes on Rebecca and Erin”

“Thank you” he kissed my cheek “I promise I’m not going to be in the same room as Erin, if that makes you happy”

I nodded “I love you John”

“I love you too Andy”

I looked into his eyes and kissed his lips again for a while. After that I got up, with just my knickers on. John stared at my almost naked body for the whole time as I walked back and forth in the room.

“What are you doing there?” I asked while he still wasn’t up and ready to go.

“I’m looking at my gorgeous girlfriend” I smiled “I’m not sure if I want to go to the party now, this is so much better”

“If you get dressed and ready in five minutes, there’s a good chance you will get laid again tonight”

“Are you threatning me?” I shook my head “You are, aren’t you?”

“Does it matter?”

“Babe, you’re playing with fire”

“I’ve got the fuel” he smiled and got up the bed to run and chase me. He took my body and started tickling it, until we finished on my bed again. We found ourselves laughing and play like children, until he pressed his lips on mine. At that point we both got back being serious.

“Give me ten reason why we should get to the party right now” he said.

“I have none”

“Me neither”

We kissed and spent the rest of the night in my bed, together, not thinking about anyone else but us.
Everything looked perfect when we were just us, locked in a room, like we lived in our own world.
But as soon as we stepped out, sharks were waiting to bite us. Especially one.