Collection of 'Shots

“Come with me Elizabeth. Please. You don’t have to do this.” a male voice pleaded.
“Yes I do Evan. I have to do this. I can’t stay here any longer. I have no home here.” I replied, my voice shaking. “No you don’t. You can hold out a little longer, for me? I’ve almost got something worked out—“ he tried but I intervened. “That’s what you always say! I give up Evan. I’m leaving.” “Elizabeth! Wait, no don’t you dare hang up this phone! So help me—“ his threat was silenced by me placing the phone back down by the receiver. I slid down my door, putting my head in my hands. The phone rang, and I knew it was Evan. He shouldn’t call, he knows it will only make it worse. But he was too mad to realize that. 3. . . 2. . . 1. . .

“Elizabeth! Answer that phone right now!” I made no move to get up. I didn’t want to speak to him. Suddenly the door was thrown open and I pitched forward, landing face first. “Stupid bitch,” he muttered. “Get out of my way.” My brother Matthew said gruffly. He threw the phone to the floor stomping on it, smashing it to bits. He then turned and kicked me hard in my stomach, bruising my ribs. “You worthless—“ he started but was interrupted by our oh so sweet mother calling his name. “Matthew! Get your ass down here! David needs more drugs!” Matthew smirked. “Looks like you’ve been spared for now, but next time it won’t happen again.” He stood up and kicked me again for good measure. He excited the room. I pressed my hands to my abdomen, willing anything to banish the pain that I felt. Both physical and emotional I let a few tears slip down my cheeks as I silently began to sob.

Come to me, come to me tonight
Oh God, I need you, anyway

I wanted nothing more than to run to Evan’s, but he kept telling me the same thing over and over. He never chose me, always denying what he really wanted. And it hurt to know that he wanted something other than me. I know he’s allowed to love other things, but when it concerns me, he’s blind. He can’t see his true affections. Me. I wanted nothing more than to jump in his arms screaming, ‘I love you!’ but he doesn’t love me back. I’d face my abusive family, my druggie father, my sex addicted brother, my intoxicated mother, my angry uncle, my tipsy, schizophrenic aunt, my STD infested cousin, my prostitute sister, my smoker of a grandmother, and my transvestite grandfather, but I couldn’t face my love for the man of my interest for the last seven years. I was weak and pathetic. I packed a bag full of my most important valuables, which wasn’t much. Just a few clothes, some food and water I kept hidden in my room in case of emergency, and my only picture of Evan and I. Hoisting it over my shoulder, I took one last glance around the room. “Goodbye, forever.” I said softly before leaping out the window and landing on my feet. I would return the day that Evan chose to grow up. I was only 17.

Baby, I just wanna be, be around you all the time
Oh God, I need you, oooh.

I was running. Running away, running from, and hopefully, running toward a better future than the one I have. I would return, maybe one day. . . It was ten years later and I was living in the abandoned cabin I had found. It was rather cozy really. Furnished with a brick fireplace, a few burgundy rugs, dark green upholstered chairs and couch, dim, soft, white light emitting from the blue sconce cones, the kitchen appliances were old and dusty, but they still managed to work just fine. The bedroom was small, but still quite beautiful. The bed frame was made from black metal, and the bedspread was a faded dark blue. The floorboards were cherry wood, and the wall panels a light shade of pine wood. There were a hardly any decorative objects littering the wall to show any hints of personality about the previous owner. There was indeed, however, a landscape painting on the far north wall. I’ve never seen anything like it, so I assume it was an original work of art. The painting was intricate, but detailed. The bathroom just consisted of a toilet, a shower and tub, and a small sink. It wasn’t the mansion like house that I was used to, but it would do for the purpose of what I needed it for. For now, this is where I would live. I could get away here, and take pleasure in not frequently being yelled at, or having knives flying over my cranium. My family was a death wish just waiting to happen. I sighed. Well I am here now, and I’m not leaving, not until I learn to live again. For now, I’m running away.

I’m running, I’m scared tonight
I’m running, I’m scared of life
I’m running, I’m scared of breathing,
‘Cause I adore you,

I needed more food and a job to physically support myself, so I left for town. I was crossing the street when I met his eyes. My own widened and I turned tail and fled from the scene. I would try again another day. I didn’t want to starve, so it would have to be tomorrow, unfortunately. I threw open the door, and ran in slamming it behind me. I slid down the door just like I did when I got off of the phone three years ago, and sobbed softly. It has been years since we’ve talked in passing, and I still couldn’t face him. I don’t think I ever will. Once more in my life, I ran away in the face of danger. The danger: The chance of a broken heart.

I’m running, I’m scared tonight
I’m running, I’m scared of breathing
‘Cause I adore you

Come to me, come to me a bit more
Oh God, I need you
There’s nothing left for me to say

I heard a knock on my door, and my head shot up at the intrusion of silence. Hauling myself to my feet, I stood and grasped the knob, twisting it and cracking the door open slightly. I peeked out and nearly fainted. Standing there before me was “Evan?” I asked curiously. “What are you doing here? What do you want? How did you find me?” I peppered him with questions as he pushed the door open, making me take a few steps back.

“I’m sorry Elizabeth. I was immature, arrogant, and conceited. I thought everything was about me. When you left, I thought you meant our friendship. So for a little over a year I thought nothing of it. Then I noticed your disappearance at school. It was odd to me. You always came, no matter the circumstances. I got a bit worried, but I continued to believe that everything was fine. But I was wrong, Beth. You had a fucked up life. I just found out a few weeks after I noticed your absence from school. People were beginning to wonder where you were. And that’s when I realized that were was something terribly wrong. I went to your house and rang the doorbell. No one answered, so I tried to open it to find it unlocked. I entered the quiet house, and went straight to your room. I saw blood on the carpet, and I freaked. I ran to your parents room to ask what they had done to you. But your father was passed out on the bed with a bottle of whiskey in his hand and your mother the same on the floor, only with a bag of drugs lying next to her instead of alcohol. So I checked your brothers room. He had a knife sticking out his back in the middle of sexual intercourse. Your sister was whoring herself out to the public, and she was frozen from the cold. Your cousin got a dangerous killing STD and she died shortly after. As for your aunt, uncle, grandfather, and grandmother, they are all dead. Your grandmother from a heart attack cause by her smoking, your grandfather was stabled as well as Matthew; your aunt killed herself after she thought she saw death, the grim reaper, and your uncle died from a brutal bar fight. I’m sorry. I’ve grown up now, and I’m sorry that I didn’t sooner. I’ve realized my mistakes, and I’ve come to apologize for them. Eliza will you forgive me?” he asked hope in his eyes.

My pupils enlarged at each death mentioned in my family. I wasn’t really surprised that they were all dead, it would’ve happened sooner or later, I just wasn’t expecting it now. “By doing what?” I snapped. “Coming and telling me that my family is dead? That you’re sorry for not ever being there? For lying to me, deceiving me? For not realizing why I came to school with bruises, scars, black eyes, a bloodied face, and broken limbs? For being a complete, and utter ass to the world and those around you, making me go through hell every time you ignored me? Do you know how much I loved you? You broke my heart Evan!” My eyes widened and I clasped my hand over my mouth when I realized what I said. I ran out as fast as I could, slamming the door shut behind me, leaving a stunned Evan behind. I booked it out of there, eventually stopping to hide behind the large bulk of the oak tree.

So rest on me darling, stay forever more
Oh God, I need you, I need you

I heard echoing footsteps coming my direction. I didn’t need to turn to look to know that it was Evan. “What do you want?” I whimpered out. He didn’t answer me, he just sat next to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders pulling me closer to him. We watched the sun go down as we leaned against the tree, listening to each other’s breathing. I curled into Evan’s side. It was freezing and he was the closest source of warmth. “What do you want?” I asked again, this time a little louder. He didn’t answer me for a while, but then he spoke up just when I thought he wouldn’t. “Just you,” he said softly. My eyes inflated in astonishment.

“I’m sorry I didn’t realize it sooner. We could’ve been the best couple the world has ever known. . . . Or at least, the small town called Bucksworth.” He said his voice soaked in humor. Then his expressed turned somber. “But I’ve missed my chance. I’m too late. I really screwed up this time.” He sighed in sadness, and I couldn’t bare the look on his face. “No. No, no you’re not.” I placed a pale hand on his cheek and he leaned into my palm. “I’ve loved you for ten years. I waited for you to come to your senses. But you broke my heart. I’d be willing to try again, if you’re willing to keep my heart in pristine condition . . . forever.” I inched closer, our lips almost touching. Hesitating slightly, I looked into his eyes, and then molded my lips to match the shape of his. He didn’t return the kiss, so I backed off him, and yet again, ran away from my problems.

I’m running, I’m scared tonight
I’m running, I’m scared of life
I’m running, I’m scared of breathing
‘Cause I adore you.

I’m running, I’m scared tonight
I’m running, I’m scared of breathing
‘Cause I adore you.

I was suddenly knocked to the ground by a heavy weight on my back. I rolled over to see Evan’s face for a split second, before he kissed me and all I saw was the backs of my eyelids. “I love you too.” He panted in between kisses. “You didn’t give me a chance to say so before earlier. You ran off too quickly. All I want is to protect you, love you, see you, hear you, and feel you by my side at every hour of the day. I want nothing more than that, and I’ll settle for nothing less. All I want is you, if you’ll have me.” He looked at my hopefully, but with a bit of fear hidden in his dark irises. I looked up at him for a moment, and then pushed him off of me, making my lips gently meet his. “I’ve waited for so long. Of course I want you. I was just waiting for you to escalate in maturity.” He grinned and kissed me again.

Oh what I wouldn’t give away, to be your shelter and keep you safe
Keep you safe

I’m running, I’m scared tonight
I’m running, I’m scared of life
I’m running, I’m scared of breathing
‘Cause I adore you

I’m running, I’m scared tonight
I’m running, I’m scared of breathing
‘Cause I adore you

And I’m running
And I’m running scared
‘Cause I adore you

“Well. Do I meet your requirements?” I smiled lightly and said, “I think you’ll do.” He smiled and pulled me down to lay in the sand. We watched the day turn into night, and the stars come up to surface, standing out in the blackness. I felt happy for the first time in years; this is where I want to be: alive and breathing with my lover at my side. And that’s when I decided that I would never run again.