This Is A Story About A Girl

Fuck you Liz. Fuck you.

You have to sit there like a goddess. Like a god damn goddess tuning my guitar. Like heaven itself sent you down to me with your grey blues eyes that I can't look into without melting. Fuck you and your perfect smile, and your tiny fingers that I love to hold. Screw your stupid laugh that makes me laugh every time. You think you're so great because you are so great, but still.

And fuck you, because I want nothing more than to kiss you right now.

I wonder if it's normal to think thoughts like this. I wonder if other people wake up every day thinking about the girl they've been in love with for years. Today, I decided that I was done with this wondering bullshit.

Today's the day. I'm going to kiss Liz.

I decided early on the setting. There wasn't really much thought put into this part. The couch. Of course the couch. We had never spent so much time in one place before. Unless you count the van or the bus, but frankly, I don't.

The next part was the timing, which of course is vital. Before the show meant playing with butterflies, or a broken heart. After the show could lead to.. well, you know. I wasn't ready for that yet at all, so I picked before the show, reluctantly though.

The how part was the difficult part. I hadn't thought that far ahead. I figured, just go with the flow.

Yeah, right.

--------

Okay. Deep breath. She's just a girl. She's just Liz. Just Liz.

I couldn't help but grin uncontrollably when I walked over to the couch. Her eyes were closed, and her lips were pursed. She was so focused on tuning my guitar, I almost resented breaking her focus. Key word almost.

"You know, I find it amazingly hard to believe that you don't know how to play guitar. I mean, you tune this thing every day, it's impossible that you don't know how," I said, squishing myself into the worn furniture.

Her head shook and her eyes rolled. So much for focus.

"We've been over this before. It's a curse."

"I bet I could teach you," I said smugly, "You probably just never had the right teacher."

"If my dad, or either of my brothers couldn't, I sure don't think you could," she muttered. I knew I was hitting a weak spot with her, because this was as close as Liz got to flaws.

My lip hung out like a child that didn't get his way.

"Let me try?" I asked hopefully. I knew that if she declined, my plan would basically be ruined. Her face showed that she was debating it. With a quick nod, it was set. Here goes nothing.

I patted my lap, trying to hold in my smile. Wait, was that a blush? Liz was blushing at me! Which in turn made me blush. I was glad she couldn't see my face. Soon enough, Liz was sitting on my lap, with the guitar in our hands. Self control is a serious virtue let me tell you that.

"Let's try a G chord."

I guided her fingers to the frets like a lighthouse guides a boat to safety. She was the only safe thing I've ever known, and I was putting it all on the line. But it felt so right.

"Now strum."

We repeated the process with another chord, my fingers curling more around hers, and less around the guitar.

"There, see? You just played the guitar." She was looking back at me now. I somehow managed to put the guitar on the other side of the couch, and clutch her closer to me. Or was she getting closer herself? Either way, my ears pounded blood, and I could hardly hear.

"Two chords isn't playing," She started, and I pushed hair out of her face, hardly worrying about what she was saying, "but I guess the right teacher makes a difference."

I paid no attention to her words, but more to her eyes. Being this close from them was like being a foot from the Mona Lisa. You always dream about it, but being there, you don't really realize what's happening. I had to stop myself for a second and smell the roses. I did this by rubbing our noses together.

But let's be honest, I was killing myself by then. I took a final breath before finally pressing my lips onto hers.

And then I panicked, and pulled away. But before I could pull away completely, she returned my kiss back to me. And for a second at least, there were sparks. Not lying, there was an actual spark on my lip. That spark was no match to the drumbeat my heart was playing. Jess couldn't smash the drums that fast if she tried.

I wondered if she could feel the smile that was forming beneath the kiss. It doesn't really matter, because if she didn't, she could see it plainly on my face when she pulled away. Hers seemed to match, and that made all the difference. For once, a silence was seriously appreciated. Her legs were pulled up to her chest, and I strung my fingers around her body, keeping my face close.

We could have fallen asleep like that, if it weren't for the stupid tour we were on. I pecked her forehead lightly, still not a word shared between us. She nodded, realizing that things had to be done, and the show had to be played. When Josh came strolling around the corner, Liz and I had separated, physically at least.

When I got on stage, I walked over to Brian.

"I think it's about time we played Mona Lisa."

"Really?"

"Really," I said with a smile. I had earned the right to play it.