Painting Flowers

Jack met my eyes with an incredulous expression, “Who are you?”

That wasn’t quite the reaction I was expecting from a male, especially a musician, when sex was simply offered in passing. I didn’t know what to say. This sort of thing was becoming a running trend with Jack and I didn’t enjoy having him get me tongue-tied. I shook off those thoughts and made a cliché reply, “Audrey, of course. Who’d you expect?”

“Well, not a female,” he admitted.

I punched his arm sharply, “Hey! What is that supposed to mean? I think I’m a very feminine person.”

“Girls don’t ask for sex,” Jack told me with a smirk. “And you haven’t really been feminine to me since I found that cigarette in my dish disposal. Shit, when I met you I had no idea what I was in for.” He ran a slow hand through his hair.

“Don’t look so upset about it.” I said, annoyed. “That’s what you get for judging me by my cover. Your school counselor should have mentioned that in elementary school.”

“Must have missed that lesson. It’s just something that--.”

I exhaled loudly, “Okay, I don’t care about that anymore. Just tell me, do you want to sleep with me?”

The sun lit his hair in watercolor as Jack squirmed on the sofa, “Why?”

“Ugh!” I exclaimed, “Guys are just supposed to go along with this whole sex thing. Listen, I’ve just been through a really bad breakup and haven’t had sex in the longest time. If I don’t do something soon I’m going to have to jump the next stranger I see.”

“Well, I haven’t either. Going without sex is not something I’m used to, but I’ve just been really down lately. Like, I don’t feel like going out and meeting people anymore.” The way Jack talked so calmly about his depression was surprising.

“Good; you’ve already met me. And I’m offering you this.” I slinked down closer next to him and tried to catch his eye. Jack was preoccupied by a wine stain on the carpet.

“You know I love someone else, right?” He met my eyes. The total honest hidden in them nearly gave me the chills.

“That’s okay; so do I.” Part of me couldn’t believe I was sharing this piece of information with him. I wasn’t comfortable with anyone knowing things about me, let alone things dealing with emotions. For some reason I trusted Jack if only because I believed he was as screwed up as I was. “Let’s be fuck-ups together.”

Jack’s lip twisted upwards, “I think I can manage that.”

The musician slowly leaned forward and his lips grazed against mine. I returned the action and doubled the amount of pressure. Jack’s lips were warm and melded onto mine. In an instant, we were taken by primal emotions and amped up the intensity to the next level.

Jack’s fingers trailed up my spine, tingling my nerves. I smiled into the next kiss and swing my leg over his so I was straddling him. With my body on top, I was able to take more control as Jack and I got hot and heavy on the sofa. The strap of my tank top slid off of my shoulder in the heat of the moment and Jack took a moment to press his lips to the skin there.

“Mmm… your skin is so soft.” He told me, moving his attention to my neck.

A sight escaped from my lips before I could reply, “There’s more of that.” I guided his hand up to my hip and Jack got the message pretty quickly. He began to feel the curves of my body and after ten more minutes of intense kissing both of our shirts were mingling with the carpet. Somewhere along the way I had pushed Jack down on the sofa and sat on top of him.

I giggled as his lips touched my chest hesitantly. “I won’t bite you.”

“I… I don’t know how far you want to go.” Jack told me, seemingly preoccupied with the lace bow connecting my bra together.

“Don’t think.” I urged, nibbling on his neck. For right now I wished Jack wouldn’t talk so much. It was kind of dousing the feisty mood. All I wanted was sex and Jack seemed to always hesitate on his end of the deal. I leaned back some and slid my hands down his chest.

Goosebumps rose on Jack’s flesh, “Audrey, I don’t want to give you the wrong idea here.”

I snorted, “Okay, well something tells me you’re not,” referencing the growing bulge in his denim jeans.

He flushed a bright pink and rerouted his words quickly, “I mean, don’t expect anything more from me.”

“A relationship isn’t what I’m looking for.” While speaking I worked with skilled hands to undo the button and fly on his jeans. “I just want you. Today. Right now. Nothing else.”

A slight sigh escaped his mouth as I worked his pants just low enough for me to use. “I want you too.” Jack revealed, setting off the fire storm of action.

My own skinny jeans were shucked to the ground almost instantly. The length of Jack stood hard and ready for me. Lowering myself in position, I slowly took him inside. The shock was intense after being lonely for so long that I cried out. My exclamation only seemed to amp the musician up more and he nearly ripped my bra while unhooking it.

“Jack,” I sighed his name breathlessly and began to sync my rhythm to his. The feeling of him inside me set every nerve into overdrive and revved up every sensation at exponential levels. With me on top, I was able to control the speed of the tempo and positioning of my body in relation to everything.

I gripped the cushions on the sofa behind him for support as he added his own thrusts into the mix. Jack was almost silent, only emanating occasional quiet sighs. The sound was sexy and deep. It encouraged me to be even more devious so before either of us could climax, I stood up and allowed him to slide out of me.

“What the hell?” Jack exclaimed, looking as outraged as sounded. I found his unkempt, ruffled state very attractive even with the grimace.

Instead of answering right away, I crushed my lips to his for an extended amount of time. My breathing was still ragged and my body was tingling from nearly reaching its golden limit. It had been extremely difficult not to finish, but there was a method to the madness.

After that I draped my naked body lengthwise on the couch, giving Jack a front row seat to all of my accessories. Laughing, I told him, “Don’t look so pissed.”

“Well, you just--. I just--. We--.” Jack couldn’t form a coherent thought.

“Calm down.” Again I ran my fingers down his arms and over his chest. “There’s no use getting yourself all worked up. You should save your energy for now. I just stopped because I want you on top now. I can’t do all the work by myself.”

Jack shook his head back and forth, “You’re crazy.” But his revelation didn’t stop him from leaning over me and working his way back to where we were a minute ago. He moved swiftly eager to relieve his body. Within the span of a minute, I had surpassed the cusp and was floating on a wave of euphoria. Hearing my moans sent Jack over the edge and he pulled out quickly before he came too.

The guitarist panted audibly and sat up at the edge of the sofa. I watched him catch his breath from afar feeling more satisfied than I had in a long while. However, the expression on Jack’s face was sad and brought my happiness spiraling downwards. I prodded him with my foot, “What’s wrong, Grumpy?”

He shrugged, “Just thinking.”

“I warned you about that earlier.” The next moment, I was next to him and touched his arm gently. It was a gesture in total contrast to the feral passion we had just shared. And somehow that scared me more than the sex had.

“I’m fucked up because I still love her.”

“You probably always will a little bit,” I told him honestly thinking of my past relationships. The people that leave their marks on hearts never disappear. It’s an inevitable, bittersweet part of being human.

“I don’t want to. It’s just so hard to let go of those moments.” Jack spoke, looking in the direction of the curtains. In a way I found it comical that we were having a heart to heart while sitting stark naked on the sofa in my living room.

“Maybe I can help you,” I offered while meeting his eyes.

Suddenly he jumped from the couch and began to hop into his jeans. “Listen, this was something I needed. You were great and… great. Wait, I already said that.” He shook the spider webs from his head as he shimmied on his T-shirt. “But really, it was fun. I just think we shouldn’t do this again.”

“So you’re breaking off the nonexistent relationship we had?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Sort of. Yes. I don’t know.” Jack took a breath and started his thought again, “I just really have to go now. Some, uh, band things I have to take care of.”

Turning from his view, I waved a dismissive hand in his direction, “Yeah, okay.”

“I’ll see you around.” It sounded more like a question as Jack bounded out the door without his checkered Vans.

The sound of the door slamming was the only thing I registered for the next few minutes. It took me a while to process that after everything I really was cold, naked, and undeniably alone.