I'll Catch You When You Fall
I'll Catch You When You Fall
Harry was a virgin to her world, and she never let him forget it. Despite being, if only slightly, taller than she was, the bones in Harry’s hands felt small and weak when held in hers. He studied her intensely and tried to understand her flawlessly imperfect nature. IHewatched her with the same childlike wonderment he had when opening his eyes to the world for the first time. In a way, he kinda was.
Audrey Apple was an extraordinary girl.
She was Harry’s rock- a beautiful, young woman who seemed to have all the wisdom in the world. She was ethereal- an angel with broken wings when Harry finally saw her cry.
----
Harry found Audrey tucked away, hiding within herself, on the steps leading to the astronomy tower. It was nearly February and far too freezing to be sitting out in the world without the safety of a roof and a friend.
“Audrey!” He exclaimed, “you’ll catch your death out in the cold like this!”
He hurried over, quick to remove his coat to put around her shoulders.
“Oh, I’m fine,” she said in her harmonic voice. Her eyes and face stayed towards the earth, away from life, away from Harry. A small patch of wet pavement told Harry that it wasn’t ice, it was tears.
“Audrey,” he said carefully. He had never seen her life this. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” She said quickly. Too quickly. Realizing this, she back-peddled. “I mean, I’ll be ok. I just feel... I don’t know. Different. Too different and it’s making me sad.”
“Different? I don’t know what that means.” Harry said.
“Neither do I.” Audrey whispered sadly. “Actually... nothing means anything to me.”
“What?”
“I have to go!” Audrey suddenly exclaimed, still shielding her eyes from Harry, as she snatched her bag and began hurrying down the snowy, cobblestone path. Harry’s eyes follow her all the way to Hogsmeade.
Running a hand through his messy, jet-black hair, Harry didn’t know how to react. He had never seen Audrey like this- unsure and afraid and just plain sorrowful.
The only thing Harry knew was that he couldn’t leave her like this. He needed to find her and help her through this sadness, just like she had for Harry so many times before.
----
He followed her delicate footsteps in the snow all the way to the Three Broomsticks. She must have escaped to the comfort of a cozy booth and a butterbeer.
Which is exactly where he saw her when he opened the door. Audrey was sitting, forlorn, staring into the foam on the top of her untouched butterbeer.
Harry walked in tentatively. He had never felt this way in his relationship with Audrey. The tables had turned. It was his turn to get in her head, his turn to take care of her.
“Is that really true?” He asked quietly, when he approached, trying to summon the Audrey within himself. “Nothing at all means anything to you?”
Audrey shrugged, not looking up. “I don’t know.” She answered. “When you’re this aware all the time, it’s hard to find meaning in anything, you know?”
“I don’t.” Harry answered honestly. He sat next to her in the booth, “but could you explain it to me?”
“There are some things about yourself you can’t help. I don’t mean, like, little habits like biting your nails. I don’t mean little things like your favorite kind of food and how good you are with directions. I mean the core stuff. Everyone has attributes that they can’t even change. Like you, for instance. You can’t help but connect yourself with people. You have this power of empathy, and you can’t help but create yourself by the people you’re around. And that’s a good thing, Harry Potter. You are caring and loyal and you genuinely invest yourself into the lives of those around you. Your natural ability to connect the way you do makes that all happen. I wish I had that about myself.”
“What do you have?” Harry asked.
“I have the ability to see that. I am so aware of everyone and everything around me.”
“And that’s a bad thing?”
“I don’t know,” she sighed, “it’s just... when you spend so much time analyzing the world around you, it leaves very little time to have your own self. It can be an outer body experience sometimes. It can be lonely.”
“But why does that have to mean that nothing matters to you?”
“I can’t accept anything at face value. Anything I hear, anything I see, anyone I meet, automatically goes through this process in my head. Picked apart. The meaning gets lost in that.”
Harry thought he was beginning to understand. Audrey looked genuinely sad, and he noticed that part of himself she was referring too. He felt connected to her. While he didn’t possessive that third eye on the world that she did, Harry felt her loneliness. He felt the pain it brought her- in the recesses of himself that he would never even notice unless they were aching.
“To never have that cynicism just shut up,” she gritted her teeth, “it can just get frustrating. I look around at everyone who can live their life without contemplating each step and I get jealous. It’s not fair, I know, but if it weren’t there I don’t think I’d be the person I am. I’m afraid I’d be no different than the terrible people in the world, the ones who shy away from life and learning and being alive. I don’t want to be that person.”
“You’re nothing close,” Harry said quietly, putting a hand on hers.
“Thank you, Harry Potter. I don’t do that often. Or ever.”
“Just being myself, Audrey Apple.” He whispered, leaning in and kissing her softly on the forehead. “I’m here anytime you need me. I’ll catch you when you fall.”
Audrey Apple was an extraordinary girl.
She was Harry’s rock- a beautiful, young woman who seemed to have all the wisdom in the world. She was ethereal- an angel with broken wings when Harry finally saw her cry.
----
Harry found Audrey tucked away, hiding within herself, on the steps leading to the astronomy tower. It was nearly February and far too freezing to be sitting out in the world without the safety of a roof and a friend.
“Audrey!” He exclaimed, “you’ll catch your death out in the cold like this!”
He hurried over, quick to remove his coat to put around her shoulders.
“Oh, I’m fine,” she said in her harmonic voice. Her eyes and face stayed towards the earth, away from life, away from Harry. A small patch of wet pavement told Harry that it wasn’t ice, it was tears.
“Audrey,” he said carefully. He had never seen her life this. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” She said quickly. Too quickly. Realizing this, she back-peddled. “I mean, I’ll be ok. I just feel... I don’t know. Different. Too different and it’s making me sad.”
“Different? I don’t know what that means.” Harry said.
“Neither do I.” Audrey whispered sadly. “Actually... nothing means anything to me.”
“What?”
“I have to go!” Audrey suddenly exclaimed, still shielding her eyes from Harry, as she snatched her bag and began hurrying down the snowy, cobblestone path. Harry’s eyes follow her all the way to Hogsmeade.
Running a hand through his messy, jet-black hair, Harry didn’t know how to react. He had never seen Audrey like this- unsure and afraid and just plain sorrowful.
The only thing Harry knew was that he couldn’t leave her like this. He needed to find her and help her through this sadness, just like she had for Harry so many times before.
----
He followed her delicate footsteps in the snow all the way to the Three Broomsticks. She must have escaped to the comfort of a cozy booth and a butterbeer.
Which is exactly where he saw her when he opened the door. Audrey was sitting, forlorn, staring into the foam on the top of her untouched butterbeer.
Harry walked in tentatively. He had never felt this way in his relationship with Audrey. The tables had turned. It was his turn to get in her head, his turn to take care of her.
“Is that really true?” He asked quietly, when he approached, trying to summon the Audrey within himself. “Nothing at all means anything to you?”
Audrey shrugged, not looking up. “I don’t know.” She answered. “When you’re this aware all the time, it’s hard to find meaning in anything, you know?”
“I don’t.” Harry answered honestly. He sat next to her in the booth, “but could you explain it to me?”
“There are some things about yourself you can’t help. I don’t mean, like, little habits like biting your nails. I don’t mean little things like your favorite kind of food and how good you are with directions. I mean the core stuff. Everyone has attributes that they can’t even change. Like you, for instance. You can’t help but connect yourself with people. You have this power of empathy, and you can’t help but create yourself by the people you’re around. And that’s a good thing, Harry Potter. You are caring and loyal and you genuinely invest yourself into the lives of those around you. Your natural ability to connect the way you do makes that all happen. I wish I had that about myself.”
“What do you have?” Harry asked.
“I have the ability to see that. I am so aware of everyone and everything around me.”
“And that’s a bad thing?”
“I don’t know,” she sighed, “it’s just... when you spend so much time analyzing the world around you, it leaves very little time to have your own self. It can be an outer body experience sometimes. It can be lonely.”
“But why does that have to mean that nothing matters to you?”
“I can’t accept anything at face value. Anything I hear, anything I see, anyone I meet, automatically goes through this process in my head. Picked apart. The meaning gets lost in that.”
Harry thought he was beginning to understand. Audrey looked genuinely sad, and he noticed that part of himself she was referring too. He felt connected to her. While he didn’t possessive that third eye on the world that she did, Harry felt her loneliness. He felt the pain it brought her- in the recesses of himself that he would never even notice unless they were aching.
“To never have that cynicism just shut up,” she gritted her teeth, “it can just get frustrating. I look around at everyone who can live their life without contemplating each step and I get jealous. It’s not fair, I know, but if it weren’t there I don’t think I’d be the person I am. I’m afraid I’d be no different than the terrible people in the world, the ones who shy away from life and learning and being alive. I don’t want to be that person.”
“You’re nothing close,” Harry said quietly, putting a hand on hers.
“Thank you, Harry Potter. I don’t do that often. Or ever.”
“Just being myself, Audrey Apple.” He whispered, leaning in and kissing her softly on the forehead. “I’m here anytime you need me. I’ll catch you when you fall.”