And I Thought I Was Weird

“This bus is so small,” Alex Gaskarth whined. One of his best friends/merch girls Penny Erikson rolled her eyes.

“Alex, it has its own hot tub,” she replied throwing some more goldfish crackers into the air for All Time Low’s drummer, Rian Dawson to catch in his mouth.

“Yeah,” Rian added as he chewed, “it just feels small because we’ve all been on it for so long.”

“Most definitely,” yawned Jack Barakat, who was slumped against the cushy sofa sleepily with an Xbox controller in hand. Selena Metzgerlinn, their other best friend and other merch girl, was sitting at the other end of the sofa looking contemplative. She played with the silver bracelet that never left her wrist, a habit she had developed throughout her life.

Slowly and silently, everyone else started to head up to bed. Selena wasn’t sure if she’d be able to sleep. Funny thing was, she wasn’t sure why.

It was probably the concert the next day. That had to be it.

Or at least, that’s what she hopelessly tried to convince herself. Deep down, she knew it was the fact that she and Jack were sitting so close their knees were touching. The spot still tingled even after Jack got up, stretched, and left the room with a parting wave.

“Comin’ to the bunk, Selena?” Penny interrupted her friend’s musing.

“Huh? Oh! Yeah, yeah... I could use some sleep I guess.”

But sleep wouldn’t come easily as the thought of Jack’s smile wouldn’t escape Selena’s mind. It made her feel like a pot about to boil over. She needed to do something...

“Psst!”

“What?” Penny moaned into her pillow.

“Can I tell you something?” Selena whispered.

“If it’s not important, no.” She replied plainly, still into her pillow. “Just go to sleep.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“‘Cause this is important.”

Penny sighed and sat up. In the dark, she could see her best friend and practical sister sitting up in her bed, brushing her feet on the ground. Penny motioned for Selena to sit by her, which she did quietly.

“So what’s up?” Penny whispered.

“It’s kinda hard to say…” She started. “Maybe I should wait for later.” She started to get up and her exhausted friend pulled her back down.

“Oh, no you don’t.” She replied. “I’m awake now so you’re going to tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.”

“But-“

“Speak.” Penny commanded.

“Ok, Ok. I’ve kinda been feeling weird lately.”

“I know.” Penny started. “It’s all this junk food we’re eating while we’re on tour. Once we’re home-”

“Not like that.” She interrupted. “It’s something else…”

Something was really bothering her, Penny could tell. She didn’t say anything more, she just watched her friend intently as she tried to figure out how to put her thoughts into words.

“Well first of all,” She started. “You can’t flip out.”

“Oooook then.” Penny said, confused.

“You swear?”

“Yes. I swear.” She responded.

“OK.” She sighed. “You know Jack?”

Penny gave Selena an incredulous look. “If you’re talking about the dark haired guy that hangs around the bus then yeah I think I know him.”

“Oh… right.” She said, slightly embarrassed by her question. “Well, I think I might… like him?”

Instantly, Penny’s green eyes grew huge and her mouth dropped.

“Oh my-“

“No!” Selena hissed as she covered Penny’s mouth and tackled her onto the bed. “No one can know this, got it? I can only tell you, ‘cause I need to vent to someone about it, and you know Alex would flip out five times worse! And you’re the best secret keeper on this bus.”

Penny wanted to say Ok, but Selena still had a death grip around her jaw.

“I mean… it’s not like I can tell Jack. We eat together, work together, live together, everything. Any idea how awkward that would be?”

Penny wanted to say Yeah, but, still, Selena’s hand was still squeezing her mouth shut. Who knew she was so strong?

“And I had to tell someone, I mean, I’m going nuts here there’s all this tension between me and him and I’m the only one who knows about it! At least, I think I’m the only one who knows.”

Penny wanted to say that she understood, but by this point she was worried she was going to be suffocated by her own best friend.

“I don’t know what to do anymore! Its not like its just anyone, I mean, its Jack! But at the same time, it’s not like there’s any other boys in the world who knows me better, I mean, its Jack… For God’s sake, Penny, can you not just sit there and say something already?”

Penny wanted to say something she probably shouldn’t say, but instead she looked at Selena, aggravated, trying to point out to her why she was quiet.

“Oh, right, sorry.” She said letting go of Penny’s jaw.

“You have to tell him!”

“What? I can’t do that!”

“Why not? He’s Jack, he’s so clueless he probably has no idea!”

“That’s the point!”

“Selena...” Penny said in exasperation. “You’re going to go crazy sitting around with all these feelings unless you do something about it.”

“But what if he rejects me?”

Selena’s voice was meant to sound a lot less fearful then it came out- something not missed by Penny. Her pretty face softened.

“Then he has me to deal with. He’d be crazy for turning you down.” She put her hand on Selena’s shoulder, who looked up and smiled sadly, sleepily.

“Thanks Penny. I wish I could repay you for listening to me whine…”

“Sure you can. You can start by going to sleep, and letting me do the same!” Penny said, starting to shove Selena off toward her bed.

Selena giggled, “Thanks again. Night.”

“Night.”

****

The show the next night in Buffalo went perfectly. Penny and Selena were up to their elbows in people shoving money at them asking for CDs, T Shirts, bracelets, posters, and more. Jack and the rest of the guys were swarmed with screaming fan girls, a sight that always made Selena laugh. As soon as he could manage, Jack made his way over.

“Boss show tonight, Jack!” Penny said with a smile as she handed a guy a copy of Dirty Work.

“Really? You think so too, Selena?” Jack looked to her expectantly.

“Definitely,” Selena answered breathlessly.

His face lit up, “awesome.”

“Hey, isn’t New Found Glory going on next?” Penny asked.

Jack replied. “Yeah, I think so,”

“Bye!” She exclaimed as she threw down the shirts she was holding as rushed into the anxious crowd.

“Hey!” Selena called after. “Penny, don’t you leave me here! Get back here! Ughh!”

“She’s going to be the death of you, isn’t she?”

Selena glared at the retreating Penny’s back, her long blonde hair bouncing against her spine. She turned around at the last moment and gave Selena a meaningful wink before disappearing into the crowd. “You have no idea.”

“I’ll stick around and help you out if you want?” He offered.

Selena nodded, “That’d be nice.”

As the amps kicked into gear and NFG started their set, the merch table became too drowned in blaring guitars for conversation. Selena was quietly thankful for the excuse to ignore her dry throat and fumbling brain. How was she supposed to come clean about her crush if she couldn’t even say her own name if she tried?

This dilemma was running through Selena’s head as she counted out change for a tall, rather shy looking girl in an ATL t-shirt while Jack signed her poster. As he handed it to her, she leaned in and smiled bashfully, revealing a shiny set of braces.

“Thank you so much,” she squeaked above the noise of the concert. “You two make a very cute couple, by the way.”

Selena’s mouth fell open as the girl scurried away to find her friends. Instinctively, she turned towards Jack, who was facing the other direction- though for a fleeting moment Selena could have sworn she saw his ears burning red, but a number of excited fangirls were shoving money in her face before she could be sure.

Sometime later, once New Found Glory had finished their final encore and everyone began clearing out for the night, Penny returned and said she could man clean up for the merch table.

“You two have been working so hard,” she had said, with a sly smile that Selena didn’t trust in the slightest. “Why don’t you step outside, get some alone time?”

Jack pointed towards the stage area, “I should probably help the guys with-”

“Nonsense!” Penny exclaimed, literally pushing the pair towards the cracked, concrete door that led to the bus garage. “They’ll be fine! Bye!”

And the door slammed behind them.

“You know,” Jack started, scratching his head. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she was trying to get rid of us.”

Man, Penny was right. You really are clueless. Selena thought ironically.

“Your set really was great tonight. The whole room was bouncing- whoops!” Selena tended to talk with her hands when she was nervous, and in doing so she sent her silver bracelet flying on the word “bouncing.” Jack bent down and picked it up. “Sorry about that...”

“No problem. Here we are...” He said quietly as Selena held out her smooth, thin wrist and Jack clasped the bracelet back in place. His hand lingered for a long moment. “There, all better.”

Selena looked up into his big, dark, magical eyes and lost her voice. The two stood frozen in time.

And then, as quickly as the moment began, Jack dove in and kissed Selena hard on the lips before jumping back as if he’d been burned.

“Ohmygod. I’m so sorry!” He began to panic. “Ohmygod! I can’t believe I just did that. I’ve just been thinking about it for so long. I-”

Jack couldn’t finish his sentence, because Selena threw her petite body onto her friend and planted her soft lips back on his. The force of her approach literally sent them falling to the ground in a big heap.

Their looks when they broke apart were enough to send anyone watching into hysterics- but they were alone. The hum of a distant tour bus and the drip of the gutter were the only sounds left to punctuate their shock.

And then, Jack’s mouth slackened from the little “o” it had formed into a sweet smile. Selena instantly felt the urge to kiss him again. “And I thought I was weird.”