Cross My Heart and Hope to Die
Cross My Heart and Hope to Die
Every single one of these backstage, beat up sofas were the same- squishy, full of holes, and probably teeming with bacteria. Maddy Webb was beginning to think that she ought to carry a can of Lysol to these shows.
But it came with the territory, she supposed. Her brother Matt was the lead guitarist in Marianas Trench and they were on their latest tour- headlining some smaller venues all across the country. Tonight, they were in Cleveland, Ohio playing at a makeshift bar/venue/record shop. Retro and rock and roll, most certainly- but definitely dingy as well.
Maddy’s black hair was straight tonight, cut in a wicked wedge that brushed the back of her neck. Her favorite fitted, purple All Time Low shirt was cozy and her black, ultra-skinnies were at that perfect “blown out at the knees” stage.
“Shit!” Josh Ramsay, the lead singer of the band, was saying as he frantically stormed into the room. Matt wasn’t too far behind. “Shit, shit shit!”
“What is it?” Maddy asked.
“It’s Ian,” Matt explained, since Josh was obviously too panicked to even register the questions. “He smashed his hand carrying some equipment in. There’s no way he can play.”
“What? No!” Maddy exclaimed.
“And we can’t play without a drummer.” Matt sighed, stuffing his hands in his pocket. “We have to call off the show...”
“You can’t do that!” Maddy said as her ice blue eyes followed Josh as he flopped on that disgusting sofa and put his face in his hands. “There are so many fans out there, you can’t let them down!”
“There’s nothing else we can really do.” Matt shook his head. “No drummer. No show.”
“But the fans...”
“I know. It breaks my heart. But I don’t know what to tell you, Maddy...”
Josh’s head snapped up out of his hands, his eyes wide with ideas. “Maddy!”
“Huh?”
Josh got up and scurried over to Maddy putting both his hands on her shoulders, a crazed look about him.
“You know all our songs.”
“Yes, it kinda comes with having my brother in the band...”
“You’re hands aren’t injured.”
“And I’d like to keep it that way.”
“You play the drums.”
“What?”
“You. Play. The drums.”
Realization flooded over Maddy and she began shaking her head back and forth quickly. Her hair twirled around, brushing her on both cheeks.
“No.” She replied. “Absolutely not. No way.”
“Come on Maddy, pleaseeee!” Josh begged, literally getting on his knees and bowing before her. “We need you! I need you!”
“I can’t go out there!”
“Why not?”
“He’s got a point, Maddy,” Matt interjected. “You know all our songs by heart and you truly are a talented drummer. You’re the only one who could handle the job.”
“But- but-” Maddy sputtered, completely flustered and horrified by the idea of going on stage with the band. Yeah, she knew the songs and yeah, she could play... But to be in front of all those people!
“Do it for the fans.” Josh pleaded. “You said it yourself, we can’t let them down.”
Frozen and voiceless, Maddy’s panicked gaze alternated between her brother and Josh. The desperation in Josh’s eyes was impossible to ignore.
The band’s bassist, Mike Ayley, poked his head into the room.
“We’re supposed to go on in two minutes. Should I go tell them we gotta call it off?” He asked.
Both Matt and Josh turned towards Maddy expectantly. Slowly, she took a deep breath. “No.” She answered. “You’re going on. And I’m going out there with you.”
“Yes!” Matt clapped his hands together. “Best sister ever! I’ll go finish setting up!”
As he ran out of the room, followed by Mike, Maddy’s heart really began pounding. Her nervousness must have been visible because Josh enveloped her in a grateful hug.
“You’ll be amazing,” he whispered. “No worries.”
“How do you know?” She whispered frightfully into his shoulders. With a final squeeze, Josh pulled back from the hug and looked Maddy square in the eye.
“Because you are amazing. In every single way.”
Just as Maddy was about to ask him what he meant, the sound of growing applause from outside pounded through her ears and her heart.
“That’s our cue,” Josh winked, that devilish grin on his face that he always had right before a show. He placed two new drumsticks in Maddy’s palm. “Let’s rock!”
Gripping the sticks with all her might, Maddy followed Josh out onto stage. She squeezed her eyes shut, ignoring the lights and the crowd and the cheering and the slight sound of feedback coming from the closest amp. At least, she tried to ignore all those things. Her hands began to sweat around the smooth, wood sticks.
“Ladies and Gentlemen,” Josh’s voice flirtatiously rang through the speakers. Somehow, the familiarity and sweetness to it helped Maddy calm down a bit. “We are Marianas Trench. Thanks for coming out tonight, and get ready to fucking DANCE!”
Maddy had to pry her eyes open now, but instead of looking into the wildly blinding lights that surrounded her, she focused her gaze on the tattered setlist taped to the ground. The first song was “Cross My Heart,” one that Maddy knew inside and out. She held her breath, and began to play.
The vibration from Ian’s kit felt therapeutic. Nothing outplayed a beating heart like a good set of drums. Maddy focused all her energy on keeping the beat and on Josh’s voice which crooned from everywhere around her.
“And I do want to show you I will run to you for you
‘Til I can’t stand on my own anymore
I cross my heart and hope to die
Cross my heart and hope to die”
The first song went by without a hitch. Then another. Then another. With her ears totally tuned to Josh, Maddy was actually starting to loosen up and have a little fun. Her eyes wandered from the set list and the kit to the crowd, all dancing and singing along, and Josh- who seemed to be having more fun than anyone.
She found his eyes for a moment as he sang and he winked, as if to say See? You ARE amazing!
“Everyone if I could have your attention,” Josh said into the microphone- as if anybody in the audience wasn’t hanging on his every word. “As you can see, we have a very special guest with us tonight. Ian had a bit of a mishap before we went on, so beatin’ the bongos tonight is none other then Matt’s sister, Ms. Maddy Webb! Isn’t she doing a slammin’ job?! Everybody give her some love!”
The crowd began cheering louder then they had all night. Maddy looked around in complete bliss and bewilderment, laughing despite herself. She had to admit, this was incredible. She finally understood that feeling that Josh and her brother and Ian and Mike had talked about for all this time.
The rest of the show went perfectly. Maddy was high on the music and the intensity of the show. After the set was over, she even followed Josh out to the merch table to meet the fans.
There were so many people that wanted to meet her! Some asked for autographs, some wanted pictures, some even told her that she should start her own band.
“It was so awesome to see a girl up there!” One fan, probably in her earlier high school years, said through braces and a starstruck smile. “You’re my hero!” Those words just about knocked Maddy over.
Once the crowd thinned and Maddy was signing the last of her autographs, she saw Josh nod his head towards the door. She excused herself from the merch table and followed him outside to the parking lot that housed their tour bus.
“That was absolutely incredible!” She exclaimed. Her breath came out as fog in the cool, late October air. Josh chuckled a little and leaned casually against the wall.
“Isn’t it?”
“That girl told me I was her hero! She could go and start a band and get famous and remember this night because she saw me up there! That’s... that’s...”
“Amazing? Just like I said you are?” Josh wiggled his eyebrows. Maddy sighed and smiled.
“Thank you for believing in me.” She whispered with soft happiness, gazing into his knowing and loving eyes. “Do you really think I’m amazing?”
Josh surprised her with a lingering kiss on the cheek, a small gesture that meant so much to Maddy it made her heart flutter like the butterflies that had been bouncing in her stomach all night.
Josh whispered back, “cross my heart and hope to die.”
But it came with the territory, she supposed. Her brother Matt was the lead guitarist in Marianas Trench and they were on their latest tour- headlining some smaller venues all across the country. Tonight, they were in Cleveland, Ohio playing at a makeshift bar/venue/record shop. Retro and rock and roll, most certainly- but definitely dingy as well.
Maddy’s black hair was straight tonight, cut in a wicked wedge that brushed the back of her neck. Her favorite fitted, purple All Time Low shirt was cozy and her black, ultra-skinnies were at that perfect “blown out at the knees” stage.
“Shit!” Josh Ramsay, the lead singer of the band, was saying as he frantically stormed into the room. Matt wasn’t too far behind. “Shit, shit shit!”
“What is it?” Maddy asked.
“It’s Ian,” Matt explained, since Josh was obviously too panicked to even register the questions. “He smashed his hand carrying some equipment in. There’s no way he can play.”
“What? No!” Maddy exclaimed.
“And we can’t play without a drummer.” Matt sighed, stuffing his hands in his pocket. “We have to call off the show...”
“You can’t do that!” Maddy said as her ice blue eyes followed Josh as he flopped on that disgusting sofa and put his face in his hands. “There are so many fans out there, you can’t let them down!”
“There’s nothing else we can really do.” Matt shook his head. “No drummer. No show.”
“But the fans...”
“I know. It breaks my heart. But I don’t know what to tell you, Maddy...”
Josh’s head snapped up out of his hands, his eyes wide with ideas. “Maddy!”
“Huh?”
Josh got up and scurried over to Maddy putting both his hands on her shoulders, a crazed look about him.
“You know all our songs.”
“Yes, it kinda comes with having my brother in the band...”
“You’re hands aren’t injured.”
“And I’d like to keep it that way.”
“You play the drums.”
“What?”
“You. Play. The drums.”
Realization flooded over Maddy and she began shaking her head back and forth quickly. Her hair twirled around, brushing her on both cheeks.
“No.” She replied. “Absolutely not. No way.”
“Come on Maddy, pleaseeee!” Josh begged, literally getting on his knees and bowing before her. “We need you! I need you!”
“I can’t go out there!”
“Why not?”
“He’s got a point, Maddy,” Matt interjected. “You know all our songs by heart and you truly are a talented drummer. You’re the only one who could handle the job.”
“But- but-” Maddy sputtered, completely flustered and horrified by the idea of going on stage with the band. Yeah, she knew the songs and yeah, she could play... But to be in front of all those people!
“Do it for the fans.” Josh pleaded. “You said it yourself, we can’t let them down.”
Frozen and voiceless, Maddy’s panicked gaze alternated between her brother and Josh. The desperation in Josh’s eyes was impossible to ignore.
The band’s bassist, Mike Ayley, poked his head into the room.
“We’re supposed to go on in two minutes. Should I go tell them we gotta call it off?” He asked.
Both Matt and Josh turned towards Maddy expectantly. Slowly, she took a deep breath. “No.” She answered. “You’re going on. And I’m going out there with you.”
“Yes!” Matt clapped his hands together. “Best sister ever! I’ll go finish setting up!”
As he ran out of the room, followed by Mike, Maddy’s heart really began pounding. Her nervousness must have been visible because Josh enveloped her in a grateful hug.
“You’ll be amazing,” he whispered. “No worries.”
“How do you know?” She whispered frightfully into his shoulders. With a final squeeze, Josh pulled back from the hug and looked Maddy square in the eye.
“Because you are amazing. In every single way.”
Just as Maddy was about to ask him what he meant, the sound of growing applause from outside pounded through her ears and her heart.
“That’s our cue,” Josh winked, that devilish grin on his face that he always had right before a show. He placed two new drumsticks in Maddy’s palm. “Let’s rock!”
Gripping the sticks with all her might, Maddy followed Josh out onto stage. She squeezed her eyes shut, ignoring the lights and the crowd and the cheering and the slight sound of feedback coming from the closest amp. At least, she tried to ignore all those things. Her hands began to sweat around the smooth, wood sticks.
“Ladies and Gentlemen,” Josh’s voice flirtatiously rang through the speakers. Somehow, the familiarity and sweetness to it helped Maddy calm down a bit. “We are Marianas Trench. Thanks for coming out tonight, and get ready to fucking DANCE!”
Maddy had to pry her eyes open now, but instead of looking into the wildly blinding lights that surrounded her, she focused her gaze on the tattered setlist taped to the ground. The first song was “Cross My Heart,” one that Maddy knew inside and out. She held her breath, and began to play.
The vibration from Ian’s kit felt therapeutic. Nothing outplayed a beating heart like a good set of drums. Maddy focused all her energy on keeping the beat and on Josh’s voice which crooned from everywhere around her.
“And I do want to show you I will run to you for you
‘Til I can’t stand on my own anymore
I cross my heart and hope to die
Cross my heart and hope to die”
The first song went by without a hitch. Then another. Then another. With her ears totally tuned to Josh, Maddy was actually starting to loosen up and have a little fun. Her eyes wandered from the set list and the kit to the crowd, all dancing and singing along, and Josh- who seemed to be having more fun than anyone.
She found his eyes for a moment as he sang and he winked, as if to say See? You ARE amazing!
“Everyone if I could have your attention,” Josh said into the microphone- as if anybody in the audience wasn’t hanging on his every word. “As you can see, we have a very special guest with us tonight. Ian had a bit of a mishap before we went on, so beatin’ the bongos tonight is none other then Matt’s sister, Ms. Maddy Webb! Isn’t she doing a slammin’ job?! Everybody give her some love!”
The crowd began cheering louder then they had all night. Maddy looked around in complete bliss and bewilderment, laughing despite herself. She had to admit, this was incredible. She finally understood that feeling that Josh and her brother and Ian and Mike had talked about for all this time.
The rest of the show went perfectly. Maddy was high on the music and the intensity of the show. After the set was over, she even followed Josh out to the merch table to meet the fans.
There were so many people that wanted to meet her! Some asked for autographs, some wanted pictures, some even told her that she should start her own band.
“It was so awesome to see a girl up there!” One fan, probably in her earlier high school years, said through braces and a starstruck smile. “You’re my hero!” Those words just about knocked Maddy over.
Once the crowd thinned and Maddy was signing the last of her autographs, she saw Josh nod his head towards the door. She excused herself from the merch table and followed him outside to the parking lot that housed their tour bus.
“That was absolutely incredible!” She exclaimed. Her breath came out as fog in the cool, late October air. Josh chuckled a little and leaned casually against the wall.
“Isn’t it?”
“That girl told me I was her hero! She could go and start a band and get famous and remember this night because she saw me up there! That’s... that’s...”
“Amazing? Just like I said you are?” Josh wiggled his eyebrows. Maddy sighed and smiled.
“Thank you for believing in me.” She whispered with soft happiness, gazing into his knowing and loving eyes. “Do you really think I’m amazing?”
Josh surprised her with a lingering kiss on the cheek, a small gesture that meant so much to Maddy it made her heart flutter like the butterflies that had been bouncing in her stomach all night.
Josh whispered back, “cross my heart and hope to die.”