Creep

I wrote a letter to myself. It was too long for a hand-written letter and by the end of it, my hand was cramping.

Stop lying to yourself. Stop acting like you’re some sort of emotionless beast who can’t get over anything. Stop being weak. Stop being rude. Stop being mean. You’ve forgiven him, now forgive yourself for your behavior. Don’t hurt anymore, because you really can’t handle that. You know the way you feel and you just keep running away from it and it’s pathetic and you know it. He’s not going to turn back into the monster he was that night and you know it, so stop using that as an excuse and wanting to run away.

You can’t run away, anyway. This last day in the city is all you get, and then you have to go back, and what then? What are you going to do?

If he’s smart, he won’t want you anymore. He’ll realize that you’ve forgiven him and you’re too angry all the time to be worth it and he’ll walk away, and then that’s fine. You can start making yourself you again.

Just go back.

And then, I did.